<p>"Frankly, I don’t understand all the “sighing.”</p>
<p>Just curious … did we not make clear that the parents we “sigh” about are comfortable in their ignorance? We sigh because it’s the kids who suffer their parents’ misconceptions.</p>
<p>I have “counseled” many parents in the past several months who are not comfortable in their ignorance. It’s like I remember sex ed back in 5th and 6th grade in the 70’s. If it doesn’t seem to apply to you yet it doesn’t really stick. I told a fellow sports parent last year to sign her S up for SAT subject tests concurrent with his AP cycle. She didn’t really take it in because she wasn’t there yet. This spring she’s wondering why nobody told her. She is a parent who is a perpetual advocator, but she just missed it because it didn’t apply at the time. I think many do that with FA. They worry about testing, then apps and admissions offers and suddenly in February everyone is starting to think about FA. It’s tough to really understand what you’re trying to do in terms of applying with FA in mind until you see it as mattering to you. Our district now does a health unit every year which progressively adds information as or just before it becomes pertinent. I think counseling offices would do parents and students a service by practicing this repeat, repeat, repeat philosophy as well.</p>
<p>On the other hand, the other day I had a mother of a Junior say to me, “I guess I need to see about signing him up for the SAT.” I pointed her in the right direction and tried to impart a sense of urgency, but inside I was thinking, “just, WOW!” She has a D1 recruitable athlete, so I also directed her to the ACT. I was amazed that she wasn’t on board with that. However, many have a division of labor where dad does sports and mom does school so between them the ball can get dropped.</p>
<p>Jobenny, yes that is exactly why I am sighing. As far as sending people here to college confidential. Absolutely no way. It would not be appropriate. Most people around here have never heard of over half the schools you mention. (I know I hadn’t.) We graduate around 200 at the local ps. About 30 percent around here don’t go to college at all. About half of them go to the cc in our town. So only 20 percent go to an actual 4 year school. The good ones go to aTm, rarely UT ( have trouble getting in) Baylor( though many drop out) and the local regional UT branch, Stephen F Austin, etc. So sending them to this board about how to get into Harvard would be a mistake and waste of time. I just need how to get them into and to survive at a school like Stephen F as well as to get financial aid to cover it would be good. And I’m talking to parents that are in relatively good financial shape. I wouldn’t even begin to know how to help the 65 percent or so that are on free lunch.</p>
<p>I really don’t think it’s a matter of parents not caring about their children’s future education. Most parents have been led to believe that the school knows best, are told to back off, not be a “helicopter parent” and let their high school students do their own work. </p>
<p>However, most GCs are overworked, and many lack the knowledge of what can help students succeed in getting into schools beyond local or state colleges. After years of trusting the schools, many parents are shocked and disillusioned that they have been let down by GCs who have given their children minimal or poor advice.</p>
<p>My oldest son met with his GC only once in his junior year. She told him he might be eligible for a scholarship and told him to “google scholarships.” That’s it in terms of advice. It was absurd. By then, we realized the school would not help us. But we had already lost some ground. Fortunately, we figured some things out along the way. But many parents trust the system. It’s not that they don’t care. They just think the school will continue to help their children, and the schools don’t admit their weaknesses.</p>
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<p>I just did a quick survey of the Questbridge website. It looks like the student resource center has quite a bit of helpful information if you click through it a bit.</p>
<p>[Student</a> Resource Center](<a href=“http://www.questbridge.org/for-students/student-resource-center]Student”>QuestBridge | Student Resource Center)</p>
<p>D went to a small college prep school, now closed unfortunately. They had two full time college counselors. Their first official meeting with parents and students was before registration for the sophomore year. They offered psat starting in 9th grade and the monthly newsletter always has an article about college admissions with sections addressing each grade. </p>
<p>It was a great model and if schools were wiling to do it some of these activities could be done by knowledgeable parents.</p>
<p>Joining the sigh as I’ve seen many kids just starting to think about tests at the end of their junior year.</p>
<p>Joining the “sigh” that so many parents think that if their child doesn’t go to a “name brand” college that they are doomed…</p>
<p>Munequita—how about our model at our public school with 550+/kids/grade where the middle school teachers start working with the kids in 7th grade getting them into the right classes that will allow them to get into the classes they need in high school or the 8th grade class meeting before high school class registration and how taking various classes will impact your college choices and how they have 4+ meetings each year for parents for grade appropriate college planning-9th-12th grade and how we get daily updates about new scholarships available to the kids and the kids get notices about what they should be doing when and how the teachers spend time throughout the year prepping the kids for the ACT/SAT and AP tests, etc. And STILL you have parents that don’t know what is going on. </p>
<p>Also, there is nothing wrong with kids going to state schools or local schools, why would anyone think otherwise?</p>
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<p>My son’s school does this as well. When the GC asked him what he wanted to major in, my son replied that he didn’t know. He just rattled off a number of state and regional colleges that other students “seem to like.” This was the point at which I realized I was going to have to become my son’s ‘college counselor.’</p>
<p>There was a second meeting the fall of senior year to which the parents are not expected to attend. But, I showed up and my son and I shared the list of schools we thought we appropriate. The GC hadn’t heard of most of them. When I told them they were mostly CTCL schools, he said: “Oh, then they must be good.”</p>
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<p>Well, now I’m sighing in your general direction, OP! I don’t get this at all! The point of sending people to a site where they would be exposed to information about schools they’ve never heard of is—wait for it—to expose them to information about schools they’ve never heard of. And everyone on this site doesn’t have a kid whose goal, or whose ONLY goal, is to get into a selective school. Some are casting a wide net. Others are looking for information about schools for kids who are not competitive for or interested in the most selective schools, for whatever reasons. And, guess what, they poke around and send out feelers for information and, lo and behold, it appears.</p>
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<p>Sadly true, but understandable, when the media - online and traditional - are full of nonsense perpetuating exactly that myth.</p>
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<p>I think that because these schools, by their very nature, do admit a lot of marginal students, that parents of more-qualified students fail to understand that at almost any school, there are bright students and committed, capable faculty; and that a well-prepared student who is determined to get the most from his or her college experience can do that, even at a less-prestigious school.</p>
<p>Lest anyone misinterpret what I’m saying about these schools (not that I can imagine such a thing happening on the CC Parents forum, mind you), I am not in any way critical of them for taking the marginally qualified students - because I know a number of these kids from our community who have pulled themselves together once they got to one of our state directionals, succeeded there, and gone on to successful careers. But I also know a large number who have not had a successful college experience.</p>
<p>My son’s public HS did a wonderful job with the college process, but there was still plenty left for me to do. One thing I find in the northeast is that there can be a subtle (or not so subtle) bias against schools in other parts of the country. There are so many great options in the midwest, for example. I’ve definitely steered friends to broaden their sights geographically.</p>
<p>Our GCs are worthless. I have to fight with the school about everything, so they pretty much hate my guts :). They don’t like it when you question the status quo regarding school class schedules. When we were working on schedules for sophomore year, I wanted my kids to take AP English. Mostly because I had asked for and received the written curriculum from our previous MS (different state) and our current HS. The curriculum was identical which meant my kids would be bored stupid through a another year of English. The admins went on, and on about how they weren’t ready, blah,blah blah. Their objection really came down to the fact that my kids would exhaust the English curriculum a year early and didn’t want to have to work to do anything special to figure out what we could do for senior year. The GCs also didn’t like the fact that DD13a was moved into AP bio her freshman year. That just wasn’t done. as far as college help goes, we can forget that. I’m doing all this stuff on my own. Glad I found this resource and helpful folks that have BTDT!!</p>
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<p>Actually in my opinion that’s the appropriate time to start thinking about tests for the vast majority of college bound kids unless you’ve been involved in GT programs and are taking ACT or perhaps SAT in middle school etc. spring of junior year is when the kids have the best chance of doing well on these type of tests because they have had the appropriate classes to maximize their scores. There are at least 3 sittings for the ACT and possibly the SAT between spring of junior year and October of senior year for kids who want to take it a coupe times.</p>
<p>The PSAT earlier in junior year is only really essential if the student has a chance of scoring high enough to be part of the merit scholarship competition. Schools that participate in National Merit pretty much know by junior year who those students are likely to be.</p>
<p>Frankly there is no need to search the entire country for the perfect college…unless you want to. Finding a college for a kiddo is not a competitive sport. </p>
<p>If someone asks for help then clearly that is an invitation for non-newbies to share experiences or point them here, but I do not feel “sorry” for the family that intends to send Suzy to the nearby LAC or the nearby public U with one sitting of the ACT as that is a perfectly acceptable choice and decision. I do not “diss” GCs that spend time focused on getting kids into colleges in that home state because that is what 80% of kids do. I might have saved some money and opened up some possibilities for my kids by investing in researching this whole college business, but I would never presume that was a superior decision and I would never presume that because of this my kids’ college experience was superior to any of their friends with similar academic talents who ended up at Michigan State of UofM or any other college or university in our state.</p>
<p>I agree, bethievt, but in defense of the Northeast, I think it’s probably likely that the average person from any region is likely to think first (if not only) of schools in their own area. There are so many good schools everywhere (for kids at all levels of ability) and such good websites brimming over with data … Kinda makes me wistful to think our search is over!</p>
<p>absweetmarie–I felt exactly the same way, really let down that the search was over and he could only pick one. I was wishing I could go to some of them.</p>
<p>momofthreeboys–it is not necessary to do a nationwide search, but it sure was fun! And, as many have said here, LACs want geographic diversity so it is one more feather in an applicant’s cap.</p>
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<p>^these, exactly!</p>
<p>I also do not diss GC’s who are overworked and doing the best jobs they can with limited resources. I might diss the administrators and school boards who put them into that position, but not the GC’s themselves.</p>
<p>Even the top schools with college counselors dedicated just to that purpose, more often than not, do not do their jobs the way they should, IMO. Many such schools, have the attitude that this is all beneath them. They were slow in admitting that SAT scores can be boosted by test prep, decry private counselors when there are times they can be of great help, and refuse to get into any involvement with fiancial aid issues. They don’t get that it is pretty much “Game Over” after junior year when it come to highly selective college admissions.</p>
<p>They do have a valid point in that the movement towards getting into certain schools have become a mania of sorts and can hurt more students than it helps, but too many have jumped onto that band wagon in pooh poohing this trend, and not taken the routes needed to getting kids into top schools. THAT has a result that is easily measurable and there is a definite move to averting accountability. DS’s school refuses to list where the kids are going to college, never mind the acceptances, something they used to do but found themselves getting panned for what parents felt were poor results and for internal comparison reasons. Those counselors spend more time spitting in the wind to these parents, telling them it doesn’t matter to what schools their kids are accepted, when the fact of the matter is that it does to them, and may be a prime reason why they are paying the big bucks to send their kids to a particular high school. I think speaking out the truth is what needs to be done, but hiding behind the rhetoric and averting responsibility is a whole other thing. They have their frigging heads in the sand, by pretending that a goodly number of families have not hired private counselors and tutors for the SATs. They finally started SAT prepe courses and getting ACT info, way behind when they should have because they were hung up with their own images and not looking at reality.</p>
<p>^^Oh I agree Bethievt…I thoroughly enjoyed researching, the bonding college trips with the boys (and this one now beginning will be my last). I’ve been “at it” since 2005 and I probably won’t be done until 3 graduates college hopefully as the class of 2017. My point is simply that not everyone needs or wants to do this and because I am an enthusiast (for lack of a better word) I believe it’s good to temper that because it is not essential…fun yes, financially beneficial perhaps but not essential. The kids that suffer are not the ones that end up at the local U or local CC due to an overworked GC or parents that aren’t interested in more than that…really the kids that suffer are the ones that get into a bunch of schools they can’t afford or shoot too high and end up with no acceptances. THOSE are the one that need “our help”…that wander on here and think every kid goes 1800 miles away to a top 20 college or university or they are “doomed.”</p>
<p>I want to add that I am not talking about those GCs who are dealing with rampant cases of absenteeism, drop outs, teen pregnancies, drugs, family issues that are front line problems at many schools. College becomes a distant concern when life threatening crises have to be managed regularly. In such cases, it is an impossible mission to give college applications and info the time and research it requires, and is not a GC issue.</p>
<p>All I can say is that the GC at my son’s small private/boarding school is the best ever. Reminding us of test deadlines from 10th grade, sending out emails about which colleges were visiting, including a brief synopsis of the school and her opinion of what types of students could be interested in those schools. Even if the school wasn’t visiting and she read/heard something about a particular college, she’d pass it on via email.
She’d send us links to websites for certain scholarship applications. Recommendations were done in plenty of time, transcripts were sent when requested, etc. She always answered my emails whenever I had questions or concerns. She’s the only college counselor at tht school. I could go on, but I won’t 
On top of that, she’s also a math teacher. She’s the best.</p>