Smart kids unmotivated to work on essays

<p>kleibo; how does your son feel about the experience now? My D expressed a great deal of resentment New Years eve of her senior year, but doesn’t seem to remember it that way now (almost two years later).</p>

<p>The first assignment in English this year was one college essay. So, the first draft was relatively easy for him. I have had a hard time convincing him that it’s worth spending the time in the editing process - it’s necessary, but hard for him to allocate the time when his year is just whizzing by. He finally focused on it one day before the first EA deadlines. (He is dysgraphic, so mechanics are literally a painful process for him - thank goodness for spell and grammar check.)</p>

<p>He still needs to write 2 more (soon), and he is having a hard time making up his mind on the topics. He has lots of ideas, he just doesn’t want to sit down and get started. </p>

<p>With the pressure of Sr. year, I wish I had forced him to get the drafts done over the summer. But at least he is on track to be done by Thanksgiving. (I went through the Christmas eve deadline with S1 - never again!)</p>

<p>I’m trying to avoid kleibo’s experience with the Christmas meltdown, as well as to get S2’s apps in for merit consideration. </p>

<p>Some day I’ll look back on this process and laugh, just like S2’s 2 accidents + speeding ticket in 5 weeks last April/May. Duct tape + scotch + “this too shall pass.”</p>

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<p>Even though this contradicts some of what I’ve said about forcing him to be self-sufficient, I actually really like this idea and am considering doing it as well.</p>

<p>I sat mine down while each filled in no-essay applications for two schools that would give them a rapid response at their level of stats. (Actually, Pitt awarded each a full tuition scholarship.) So they knew they were going to college, that they had a school that was both an academic and financial safety, and that they would have a choice. That took away a considerable amount of stress and gave them the confidence to continue with the process, while giving us that peace of mind that they would have acceptable places to go.</p>

<p>From there on in, everything else was up to them. They each applied to several match and reach schools, one a few weeks before due date, the other during winter break, finishing hours before the essays were due. I did not see their essays until after they had been submitted, and then found out that they were variable in quality. Each said that they felt they had already paid their dues, and the essays were meant to reflect who they really were, as they would be preparing assignments once on their own and in college, and not who their parents, teachers, or other potential “application coaches” really were.</p>

<p>But no nagging involved from that point on. Come April, they each had several good choices, including safeties they had grown to love.</p>

<p>^^^Pitt’s application is no-essay, but I think an essay is required for scholarship consideration. At least it was two years ago.</p>

<p>I think basically he knew he was wrong - procrastinating for so long. So even though I went completely crazy on him (I literally think I went insane for those 15 minutes - because it is so not like me) - he pretty much was over it by New Years. We did actually talk about it a couple of times afterwards and he knew he blew it and he “kind of” said he was sorry and I apoligized as well. An ugly incident just due to procrastination. Makes us parents crazy!!!</p>

<p>I finally laid down the law - no social life until it was written. Fortunately, my son’s English teacher made it an assignment and so he had a date that he had to turn in some kind of written word. But the “final” draft is finished yet, so I’m sure we’ll be bickering about that for the next week, until the ED deadline.</p>

<p>It’s been a huge thorn in my side, while my son isn’t the least bit bothered by it. Kids. This is my last child to apply to college and I absolutely can’t wait until the entire process is over and done with!</p>

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<p>My son is working on his Pitt app right now. The initial application is essay-optional, but an essay may later be required for consideration for certain scholarships. If there are any scholarships that require an essay on the initial application for admission, I’m not aware of them.</p>

<p>My daughter applied to Pitt two years ago, so I’m rusty. But I’m pretty sure that to be considered for the full-tuition scholarship, which does not require a separate application, you do need to submit an essay initially. Later on, the Chancellor’s Scholarship (full ride) process entails MORE essays and possibly interviews. Just read the application carefully.</p>

<p>LurkNess and mantori- </p>

<p>S applied several years ago and D applied last year. Neither wrote an essay for the initial application, although it was recommended but not required for scholarship consideration, but both became quite alert when they received full-tuition offers. Each had SAT scores well above the level at which full-tuition was offered, along with a weighted GPA above 4.0 and EC leadership positions and numerous academic awards noted on the transcript; matters might have been different had they been borderline. They were invited to apply for additional scholarships that definitely required essays, however. They were both impressed that a school would go to such lengths to recruit students who excelled at academics rather than athletics.</p>

<p>my son also likes to procrastinate, and we have had stress over these essays BUT one of the things that keeps happening is… for class, essays are about a specific topic etc, whereas some of these essays ask the student to be self reflective, or to sell themselves. I would never have said my son was modest (but not a brag either) but he has real problems writing an essay about himself and his accomplishments.</p>

<p>^P56
My son said to me, “but I don’t live my life in neat little anecdotes ready to sprinkle in a college essay!”</p>

<p>Thanks for clearing that up, Frazzled!</p>

<p>mom2, your son was more polite than mine… his response was " i wont talk out my butt just to impress someone, i’m proud of what i have done but dont want to write essays about it thats just conceited"</p>

<p>i keep trying to tell him, its part of the process/game of admissions but that doesnt speed up getting them done</p>

<p>I was determined to have my DS3 finish his essays before the summer was out. But life “happens” and those essays never got written. Then, by September/October my dear son got so very busy with tons of his wonderful ECs and involved with his schoolwork, I wondered if they’d ever get out. I was tearing my hair out. </p>

<p>Finally, I discovered a new avenue for me: I helped out other kids at CC who wanted my help. It was great. I could use my creative juices and editing pencil, and not bother my son. He knew what needed to get done, but his timetable wasn’t mine.</p>

<p>The only thing that worked with my kids were deadlines and patience. I didn’t know about the duct tape method then. That’s a nice addition to the strategy.</p>

<p>What I did was take the final set of schools for each kid (about 6 each) and set up a spreadsheet with dates. </p>

<p>I knew the big essays would and could be the very last things to get done. Before then were the dates for last opportunity to take ACT/SAT tests, for requesting letters of recommendation and transcripts (and preparing a “resume” in advance to help the letter writers), submission of “Part 1” of application forms, for preparing/finishing portfolios, for FAFSA and finaid forms, as well as for getting copies of test scores sent to the colleges.</p>

<p>So I mainly worried about the dates of everything. And I took care of what I could do on my on (sending test scores, etc.). It was for my own sanity that I did all this stuff. The only things that I couldn’t do – take the tests, prepare the portfolio, and write the essays – were up to them; I handled everything else I could.</p>

<p>I knew that my son would deliver a decent major essay (he was an excellent writer), but only 1 for all applications regardless of the prompt. (My daughter’s essays were perfunctory – applying to art schools.) So my goal as to get that first version of the big essay done – for the first application that was due. And he came through 2 days before it was due, I shipped it back to him with a couple of technical editorial suggestions, and it was done with little pain to me or him.</p>

<p>Of course each application had those “little essays” to write, the ones that often went into boxes on the forms. (We didn’t use Common Ap.) And I knew that those were likely to be even more important than THE main essay for some schools. It was with that in mind that I made sure they started the short essays long before they had to do the big one. They could plunk out a few lines at a time, and would file them away for the final form.</p>

<p>This was a strategy of “take care of the small stuff and the big stuff will take care of itself.” It’s true that I took care of a lot of the paperwork, the routine form preparation. But for my procrastinating and extremely busy kids this worked. No pushing them to write of big essays monthes before applications were due; just write the little essays and notes, and the big essay could wait. It worked.</p>

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This was my son, exactly. Big-time turmoil over everything that had to be written, and when it came to writing something about himself – just forget it. And then, just before the deadline, he would sit down at the keyboard, log out of the computer games, and type for 20-30 minutes without pausing. And there it would be. I asked him once, if it’s that simple, why not do it weeks earlier and just get it overwith? His reply: It’s not something I can turn on and off, it just happens. Yikes. I’m sure he’s learning how to turn it on in his Humanities class now!</p>

<p>We have a good solid relationship, but the whole process was a stressfest in our house and I wasn’t sure either of us would get through it intact. I just thank God that he applied ED to a good fit, was admitted, ended up there, and is very happy where he is. Because the decision came out before Christmas, our holidays had us bouncing with happiness over the news instead of butting heads over the deadlines… and there was time for the tension to fade.</p>

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About this, I agree. My strategy (and don’t worry - I didn’t always follow it; I did my share of nagging!) was to tell her, “I will not hold it against you if you apply for a scholarship and don’t get it. However, if you don’t apply for a scholarship, you will be responsible for finding the amount of money of that scholarship for that school. And if that means you can’t afford that school, then so be it.”</p>

<p>Somehow she got the essays done for the schools.</p>

<p>Oh, and I agree as well about the early, no-essay applications. My d got one for UVM, a special one that promised an answer within 2 weeks and required only a graded paper, no essay. It was great when she got a response before Thanksgiving!</p>

<p>Chevda, yes that is just what I did/said with S1 and a scholarship essay that he was procrastinating. He did it, he got the scholarship.</p>