<p>There's a great thread on the parents' forum that recounts the outrageous things people say to parents when they are discussing college applications. This one applies to theater, so I thought I'd share:</p>
<p>"He really wants to do theater in college? Can't you just send him out to California for a year or two so he can get it out of his system? Because he will fail. He will FAIL, they all do."</p>
<p>I get it. I see the point. I know the odds. But sheesh.</p>
<p>Geesh. That’s a little harsh, and yet probably what most people are thinking when I tell them what my son is majoring in as well, especially when I add that it’s musical theatre. 
Always nice to have support… sigh.</p>
<p>I always want to just say [url=<a href=“- YouTube”>- YouTube]YouTube</a> - Despicable Me Minion WHAT Full Scene<a href=“just%20the%20minion%20part”>/url</a> in response to people/comments like that. Not sure if that’s the correct response but it would at least be enjoyable.</p>
<p>I should clarify that this person has never seen S in a show, which is good, because at least she wasn’t saying this with any opinion of his abilities! :)</p>
<p>And LOL on the link!!!</p>
<p>I haven’t gotten any ugly comments (yet) but I sometimes get comments that bother me, along the lines of “Oh, how exciting, she’s going to be a big star!” I know they mean to be supportive, but first of all, my D isn’t the star type (and I have plenty of respect for those who could pull it off), and second, it trivializes the deep love she has for all of theatre, its history, its literature, etc.</p>
<p>Oh, I do have one: My mother in law refuses to stop referring to my nephew who is a model and my D who is an actress as “doing the same thing.” But I don’t correct her any more - I’d have to eat my words if my nephew does as so many models do and becomes a film or TV celebrity. She’ll never understand the difference. So I definitely smile and nod with her. She means well, after all, just wants to be proud of all of her grandchildren.</p>
<p>My D has decided to smile and nod with her as well.</p>
<p>Perfect timing on starting this thread. On a specific CC college forum, a parent asked for info on its musical theatre BFA as it’s not much talked about on the MT forum. The immediate response was to assure her that the academics at College X is so much better (implication–respected) than the lesser known schools she was considering with great MT programs. When the nice OP responded that MT programs are the primary focus for her kid, so she was really looking for details about THAT and not the overall academic ranking of the college, the kindly response was: Well, this is probably not what you want to hear, but since most MT majors don’t ever make it, S or D might want to pay more attention to the other departments so they can double major in something, you know, serious for the day when they have to give up their dreams. </p>
<p>Okay, I paraphrased a little freely there. LOL. But it makes me angry when those overly helpful souls choose to pass judgment on kids they will never know in a field they know even less about.</p>
<p>Aggravating. Well. Thanks for letting me vent. :)</p>
<p>I think that we all want our kids to be happy with what they study in school - but being practical is also important. Jobs won’t just fall into the laps of most college grads, no matter what your major is (save nursing or accounting and a few others). To make a major work (no pun intended), a lot of effort has to be put into setting yourself apart from the pack, being open minded (majoring in theater? how about working for the college tv station and learning about all the AV equipment? find internships to get practical experience. Consider teaching, etc…) </p>
<p>My nephew “majored” in acting (some sort of performance undergraduate). He worked hard at it and has had many acting roles - all low paid if paid. He went to New York and spent a year auditioning - never landed a single role there. Finally applied to grad school (where he won funding to Brown University). He will get a masters and probably end up teaching.</p>
<p>Sigh. In keeping with the topic of this thread, we must smile and nod when well-meaning people feel they should tell us how hard the life of a creative major is/will be. </p>
<p>Not that they are wrong–of course all sensible people know just how difficult the path is. But what gives people the idea that they need to offer this advice to casual strangers just upon hearing about a particular kid’s major? Do they think the parents were born under a turnip truck? 
I would never think to tell someone whose kid wanted to go to law school just how terrible the job market is for lawyers now–unless they asked me my opinion.</p>
<p>Ha, madbean, you paraphrased nicely… that was me that asked that question on the other university’s thread. That stung a little, think they were trying to be helpful by noting you could double major at said university, but still, ouch. Still don’t have any more info on that program (other than website, talking to chair, etc) than before. Any insight?</p>
<p>I guess I see nothing wrong with the path of Pearl’s nephew…if it means working for a year or two afterward, realizing it’s not going to work out and going to grad school or, in the case of my former actor nephew, end up managing a fine restaurant and succeeding at that and being happy and self-sufficient, so be it. At least they know they went for the brass ring. And, funding for Brown – not too shabby!</p>
<p>Hard to see, the future is :)</p>
<p>Here’s how my wife and I now view it after first wringing our hands over what we expect will be struggles ahead for our D when she graduates in four years with her BFA in acting:</p>
<p>We are letting her do this because … it’s her dream. She’s incredibly motivated and passionate about being an actor, and the last thing we want is for her to have any regrets 20 years from now after we forced her to major in something more “practical.”</p>
<p>Yes, we understand the odds. And no, we’re not pushing her into this expecting her to “be a star.” We just want her to be happy, and we also know that there are a lot of people out there, who graduated with their BFAs, and are now working actors with comfortable middle class lifestyles.</p>
<p>Best message we heard during the audition season on this came from BU professor Michael Kaye during the info sesion: “If you check out tomorrow’s Sunday Arts Section of the NYT, you definitely won’t see my name or picture there. But I have a nice home, I have health insurance and good benefits, I provide a nice middle class lifestyle for my family. And guess what? I make my living as an actor.”</p>
<p>All we know is that our D is going to get a good education in something she loves, and at the end of four years she’ll have her degree. Right now, we know young people, college class of 2010, who can’t find jobs after majoring in more “practical” things such as business and elementary education. There are no guarantees in life, especially in today’s economy, so if your S or D is passionate about acting, I feel that’s a W-I-N right there. Let them follow their dreams.</p>
<p>Parents of kids who want to study acting really need to stop worrying so much. It’s amazing how apprehensive many are over this. I mean, the one question that came up during every college info session we attended during auditions was “can you double major if you go BFA?” Because of the demanding nature of BFA programs, the answer always was “no.”</p>
<p>But it shows you how fearful parents are. They’re hoping for a “fall back plan.”</p>
<p>Just my take on this, folks, but if you’re looking to have a “fall back plan,” then guess what? Your S or D is going to “fall back” and never be successful at what they truly wanted to do with their life, their true passion. In the case of our D … that’s acting.</p>
<p>Just my two cents … good luck to everyone.</p>
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<p>Depends on what schools you asked. A double major is certainly possible at some BFAs. I know because my D double majored, and it had nothing to do with a ‘fallback’. I’ve always been a believer in kids pursuing what they truly want to, but I am also a believer in being realistic about this career. As much as people say that no major will guarantee a job, acting is totally different. Even if successful in being cast in a show, it’s likely for a very limited run which means you are always, and I mean always, looking for your next job. This is nothing like traditional jobs. Those who are living a comfortable middle class lifestyle are relying on something other than acting to provide that. Very few stage actors are able to sustain a comfortable middle class lifestyle solely from their acting gigs. It’s a bit disingenous of Michael Kaye to say he is making his living as an actor when he is clearly earning a good portion (probably the majority) of his salary as a professor.</p>
<p>You totally missed the point alwaysamom. Michael Kaye wasn’t being “disingenous” at all. He was simply, and honestly, pointing out that you can make a nice living after graduating with a BFA in acting, even if you are not famous. There’s nothing wrong with teaching. </p>
<p>Being a double-major at most BFA programs is impossible. Most BFA programs require students to focus on acting for 12-14 hours a day. Not sure where you would find time for classes or study for an additional major. It sounds like a miserable existence for any student.</p>
<p>If you want to study acting and have an additional major, you can do it, but you better go the BA theatre route. Otherwise, you either won’t graduate in four years or you will totally flame out and not be able to finish your BFA requirements. That’s not me talking. That was made clear to us by EVERY deparment head we spoke with during my D’s 10 audtions, and that is what we hear from all of her friends currently in BFA acting programs.</p>
<p>I may have missed the point but I think that perhaps it wasn’t expressed as clearly as it could have been. If he is saying “I make my living as an actor”, one could naturally take that to mean that he is earning a living acting. If he is working as a professor, and has been for over a decade, his middle class lifestyle is being paid for by his university employer, not by his stage work. There is absolutely nothing wrong with teaching, I never said there was, and many end up pursuing that path. However, that isn’t making a living as an actor.</p>
<p>While double-majoring at many/most BFA programs may be difficult or impossible, it isn’t at all BFAs. As I mentioned, my daughter double-majored at Tisch as did many of her classmates. We also know kids who have done so at Michigan. My D graduated in four years, didn’t ‘flame out’ and has been working steadily, in theatre, for almost four years since graduation.</p>
<p>racroce, while it is not possible to double major with a BFA in Acting at many of the schools, it is possible, as alwaysamom asserted, at some schools, even if it is not easy to do. It is easier to do in a BA program; that’s true. But your assertion that it will take more than four years or be impossible to finish the BFA requirements is not true at SOME programs. Like alwaysamom mentioned, her D did a double major with a BFA in Acting at NYU/Tisch, as have several students I know. It is indeed possible, even if challenging, to do that at NYU. I realize it is not possible at a number of other schools. My D also went to NYU/Tisch but had no desire to double major. However, since graduating, she has been supporting herself in NYC and ALL of her jobs are in the theater world. She has several different skill sets and so can earn money doing things other than performing, while still working professionally in theater. She never had a fall back second major but has a variety of jobs in her theater career. (I know that the second major for alwaysamom’s D was not meant as a fallback either)</p>
<p>I understand alwaysamom’s point about Michael Kaye’s remark. He said (according to your quote):
</p>
<p>alwaysamom wrote:
</p>
<p>You replied:
</p>
<p>Well, of course you can make a nice living after earning a BFA in Acting doing something other than acting. And of course there is nothing wrong with teaching. But the point is that Kaye said he makes his living as an ACTOR and alwaysamom pointed out that he makes the majority of his living as a theater professor. Yes, he makes a fine living after having earned a BFA in Acting and yes, teaching is a very viable career. The point you are making about a fine livingafter graduating with a BFA in Acting doing something like teaching, is not the same point as Kaye made that he earns this fine living through acting. I don’t know Kaye and maybe he still acts professionally but he is supplementing that by being a professor and doesn’t make is sole living as an actor. That was what alwaysamom was pointing out about the quote. Your point is valid, but isn’t related to the Kaye quote about making a living as an actor in this man’s case. He is, however, making a living in the field of theater.</p>
<p>oops, cross posted with alwaysamom and didn’t see her post until after I posted above</p>
<p>Just wanted to chime in here that the BA route doesn’t ALWAYS make it easier to double major either. It depends on the 2nd major (will any classes overlap?), the size of the departments and number of class sections available for scheduling, and the school’s core requirements. My S is at Fordham and WILL be taking core classes over the summer and perhaps future summers to try to finish up in 4 years. He’s fine with it and we’re not worried he’ll flame out. </p>
<p>His 2nd major isn’t a “fallback plan” either. He’s majoring in Performance and Playwriting but he could be equally happy majoring in English, French, Theology, etc. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s looking for something to fall back on…it just means he’s academically curious and interested in many subjects.</p>
<p>BTW, it isn’t even necessary to major in Acting in college unless you really want to. Plenty of actors majored in something else or didn’t even go to college. And plenty of Acting majors discovered other passions somewhere along the way that became their life’s work. Making other life choices doesn’t mean that they weren’t “successful at what they truly wanted to do with their life, their true passion.” Many people try on different careers throughout their lives.</p>
<p>My main point here was thst it’s pretty much impossible to double major with a BFA. There just isn’t a lot of time left over after factoring in studio classes and rhearsals.</p>
<p>^^^It is MUCH harder to double major in a BFA or a more conservatory-like BA program and not even allowed in some programs! For my S, he knew he wanted to double major when he was looking at schools and so he only considered BFA programs where it was possible. In the end, his decision came down to Fordham and NYU…a BA and BFA program and he chose the school and program that was right for him. But no doubt about it…double majoring is hard! </p>
<p>Right now he is facing scheduling challenges and demanding Performance requirements. If he chose to double major with Playwriting and English, which is something he strongly considered, his life would be SO much easier given the overlap in classes and multiple sections of English classes. He probably wouldn’t have to take summer classes and could complete the requirements in 4 years. But these are his choices, which I think brings us back to the original point of this thread…how frustrating it is when people weigh in and seemingly put down your kid’s life choices! I know my Mama Bear claws come out! :D</p>
<p>Exactly Sandkmom!</p>
<p>You must be very proud of your son. He seems VERY dedicated to what sounds like a very demanding course of study.</p>
<p>Double-majoring should be done for the right reasons, and a kid has to be dedicated and understand what he or she is getting into. As I said earlier, during all of my D’s info sessions, whenever parents asked the question about double-majoring with a BFA, it seemed instead to be motivated by concern that majoring in acting was so risky that you better have a “fallback.”</p>
<p>My feeling, and this is definitely a personal family choice, is that we want our D to go for it and not be tempted by a “fallback.” It’s our feeling that, if you have a “fallback,” you’re going to fall back.</p>
<p>While understanding the risks, we want her to follow a dream she’s had since middle school, and concentrate 100% on putting herself in a position to make acting her profession. And when I say “make acting her profession,” I feel that could include teaching, since many actors perform on the stage and also work in the classroom. She doesn’t have to be a “star” to make a living as an actor.</p>
<p>Nothing my wife and I disdain more than when someone says “oh, you’re hoping she’ll win an Oscar someday.” And Oscar??? Yes, that would definitely be an amazing dream, but if she can just simply support herself while following her dream, then I think she’s going to have a very happy life. And … be successful!</p>
<p>So poop on anyone who would put our kids down for wanting to follow their dreams. My D is only 17. There’s plenty of time for her to figure this all out, and if necessary, find a “fallback” later.</p>
<p>I love my father dearly (a retired minister), but I couldn’t just smile and nod when jbehlend<em>dad said to me that jbehlend</em>son should have a backup plan for his BFA - perhaps a double major or minor in education or business - as an acting career path is too risky. I told him that his grandson was much like his grandfather, in that:</p>
<p>(a) jbehlend<em>son performs in front of audiences, jbehlend</em>dad preached in front of congregations.
(b) jbehlend<em>son memorizes and delivers his lines, jbehlend</em>dad memorized and delivered his sermons.
(c) jbehlend<em>son wears costumes on stage, jbehlend</em>dad wore vestments at the altar.
(d) jbehlend<em>son knows he needs the training a BFA offers, jbehlend</em>dad knew he needed a M.Div for his profession.</p>
<p>but mostly</p>
<p>(e) jbehlend<em>son felt the calling to be an actor, jbehlend</em>dad felt the calling to be a pastor.</p>
<p>We never had the “back up plan” conversation again.</p>