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A while back, (before all the wonderful admissions and program offers came rolling in) you commented that if you knew more, back when, you would have approached the entire college search and list differently with your S. At the time, I was wondering where you thought he went wrong in creating his list. However, just the other day someone (sorry, can't recall who) complimented your son on having a well-balanced list. </p>
<p>So .... looking back ... would your S have set up his list differently?
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<p>twinmom~</p>
<p>I'm so sorry that I somehow missed this post! I just came across it a few minutes ago. Please forgive my tardiness in replying! ;)</p>
<p>At different stages throughout this whole process, I have had very different feelings about the college list my son compiled. Since our experience, like that of so many others, was filled with quite a few unanticipated ups and downs, my feelings on this have continued to evolve.</p>
<p>Tonight, as I answer this post, I am speaking from the perspective of "one of the lucky ones" whose son has realized his fondest and most long-standing college dream. I suppose at this point, I could just look at the whole ordeal and say, "If everything hadn't happened EXACTLY as it did, we may not have had the outcome that we do now." But, notwithstanding that line of thinking, this is what I would have encouraged him to do differently:</p>
<p>1.) Take seriously the advice to "build your list from the safeties up". He definitely did not do this. My son began with a top-heavy list, and the list remained top heavy throughout the process. The problem I had in guiding him was that with his test scores and transcripts, I had some difficulty distinguishing between matches and reaches for him. In a sense, his reaches WERE his matches, and it has become obvious from some of the results of CCers' kids that this is a very real problem for some of the very high functioning kids. For example, I would have thought that andi's son would have had no issue at all getting into Oberlin (as an NMF and exceedingly talented musician), but he was waitlisted there. In light of that, I would have had my son research more safeties (preferably ones with generous merit money), and I would have encouraged him to "fall in love with them".</p>
<p>2.) I would have encouraged him to apply to at least two schools with rolling admissions so that some of the pressure could have been released. He only applied to one school with rolling admissions, the University of Michigan. Unfortunately, I was fairly ignorant regarding the workings of rolling admissions, so I didn't realize the enormous benefit (particularly psychologically) in getting that app. in early. My son did not turn his Mich. app in until Jan. 10. I will always wonder if an earlier submission of that application might have resulted in a better financial aid package and maybe even some merit money. As it was, he only received a tiny loan from them, though he did hear back about his acceptance in only 5 weeks. </p>
<p>3.) I would have discouraged his EA app. to Yale. IMHO, that whole experience was WAY too costly, both psychologically and time-wise. My son spent a GREAT deal of time on that application. He spent many, many hours on the essays and put everything he had into presenting the best possible picture of himself and his abilities. The ease with which that whole application was shot down by the adcom really unnerved my son (and me!) and it shook his confidence to the core. In addition, the time spent on that ONE application took away from time spent on some of the subsequent ones. In retrospect, if my son had been determined to submit that EA applicaiton, I would have encouraged him to treat it as he did each and every other app--I would have encouraged him to do it, submit it, and then forget about it and move on to the other ones. All in all, the Yale EA app. significantly impacted the Stanford app. (which was due on the same day as the Yale rejection came in), and the rejection completely demoralized him and made it difficult for him to work on the other apps. (most due within two weeks of the rejection) with the enthusiasm that they deserved.</p>
<p>4.) I would have encouraged my son to research and apply to more schools known for good merit aid and schools which were seeking applicants with either his demographics or area of interest--in other words, try to seek out places where he would be in demand.</p>
<p>5.) I would have had more discussion with my son regarding best/worst case scenarios and made sure that he fully understood the implications of his choices. For example, the philosophy he began with was this: "I want to try for this school and that school and this other school, and if I don't get into any of those, then I'll just go to the flagship U. and save the money for grad school". Well, as time wore on, and he realized that the flagship U was a REAL possibility, he got VERY nervous and changed his whole philosophy, but it was almost too late for him to do that. We did end up adding a couple of schools at the very end, but his list remained nearly unchanged throughout the entire process, and we became quite nervous about it as time wore on. One of the schools that we added later turned out the be a very good choice. UMiami offered him great merit money and provided an excellent alternative to attending school in state, something he really didn't want to do, as it turned out.</p>
<p>6.) I would have paid more attention to "priority deadlines" for our state U. to guarantee the largest financial aid package if our choice had come down to that. It would have taken very little effort to get everything in to University of Kansas earlier, and it would have probably resulted in even more merit money than he received. </p>
<p>Of course, I might have had much more to say about this if things hadn't turned out the way they did for him. While it's true that all's well that ends well, this whole process could have been more enjoyable and less stressful if we had done the things I mentioned above!</p>
<p>I thank you, twinmom, for asking this question, and I hope that this answer helps some folks for next year! ~berurah</p>