<p>Andi, my thoughts are continually with you and your talented son. I do not wish his situation on any student, let alone one with his qualifications. I am keeping positive thoughts that a waitlist will come through (assuming he has done what he can to advocate on that end) or that other plans are in the brainstorming basket as to alternatives for the coming year. You earned those gray hairs, we are behind you 100%. Your son is to be commended for all he has had to endure amongst peers in a different position and all that he has to do in the coming weeks regardless of his disappointment. Surely his character will grow but I don't wish it on anyone. I wish I had "known" you sooner so as to have recommended some schools a "notch down" for his list. I know a boy also in the Boston suburbs at a private school and his list was reasonable but also top heavy. Brandeis was his safety and I personally do no think of it as a safety. I have heard through others that he either got rejected or waitlisted everywhere BUT got into one school, Tufts. Granted, Tufts is a gem (it is even MY alma mater) and so his story is a happier one but otherwise, his outcome is like your son's and he is also a very strong candidate with grades, scores, music, and theater. When I had heard his list, while I thought he'd get into some, I still worried cause of the lack of a true safety. I also read other students' college lists on CC where I also think there is not a true safety and I do worry. I think in your case, there is not much you can do because knowing all this comes from a great deal of research in the current college admissions process and/or advice from a guidance counselor or college advisor in the know. Things have changed in recent years. I know that well meaning local folks would say to my D, "of course you will get into any college you want" because she was such a top student who had the so called "package" of what many think looks good for college but we had to tell people....thanks for the affirmation but we are NOT counting on getting into any of the selective schools because the odds are so slim and they turn away perfectly qualified applicants. Sometimes, I think people must have thought I was not real confident in my kid but it was more that we were both very very very cognizant of the state of elite college admissions today and so just knew NOT to count on schools at this level even IF qualified. Without that knowledge, however, many many folks like you, would assume, RIGHTFULLY SO, that your child could get into at least one or more schools on his list. Times have really changed with regard to this though as you so painfully had to endure. It is so very difficult when a child has done everything "right" so to speak, to have an outcome like this! Again, my heart goes out to your family and I hope you will keep us informed of any news/plans in the coming weeks. I feel hopeful that something of some nature will turn out positively for him and things will work out in some fashion or another. He is just too talented to not eventually have exciting options to consider in his next stage of life. </p>
<p>Berurah....just to pick up on your excellent points...I want to share how my heart also went out to you back in December with the Yale EA rejection. The reason my heart went out to you mostly was cause you guys were so disappointed and discouraged and I felt badly that it had come to that. Of course, a kid would be disappointed but I could tell your family took it very hard. I now understand why.....with the expectations and all that led up to it. I want to just share how my D approached that situation because I hope it will help others. She also applied EA to Yale (the year before in the so called "Yale Massacre" on CC). For her, it was not do or die for Yale. Yes, she loved Yale but she loved most schools on her list (and certainly liked all of them). She had a couple favorites but not one "singular sensation" that it had to be. She had not even totally decided on one clear favorite. Yale was in the upper pile in terms of favorites but she applied there EA mostly cause it had EA which was not a commitment as she was not ready to decide but figured to try EA as it is an increase in odds and she did not choose to do ED to her other faves. Besides that, she applied but did not expect to get in necessarily. It is not that she is not qualified. It is not that she, nor we, did not have confidence in her or her application. But we were just so very aware of the crapshoot lottery nature once a kid had the "right stuff" (and I think she did), that we just assumed she had a very slim chance and if it happened, what a great prize/surprise. Also, while she did indeed put alot into that application as it was the first one, as soon as she finished it in late October, she began each subsequent application, putting as much energy and interest into each and every one (including her safety schools). She never considered waiting for the Yale decision letter to come before doing the other apps. That is how much we never counted on her getting in. It was not like she was reaching too high or anything, but simply the odds were just ridiculously small (and ended up way worse than we even knew because the admit rate dropped considerably that year when they switched to EA at Yale). In fact, by the time the Yale decision came, I think she only had one or two apps left to complete so it was not like she was doing these under any duress or negative emotional state. She got the Yale decision....which admittedly was not the same as your son as it was a deferral....and she looked at it and moved on immediately...never getting upset...she looked at the screen and said, this is what I expected.....and then she did not expect to get in RD but still was interested in the school of course....but truly was interested in her other ones and some equally as much. So, not only was all NOT riding on this school but she entered the lottery as one would enter those scratch off lottery tickets....not expecting to win, ya know? She simply was NOT devastated at all. And so, she had the long wait, like your son, until April (she had NO rolling admissions schools actually so heard nothing until April)....but we felt confident she'd get into some schools, just did not know where. Yale turned out to be the only full rejection she got and like your son, it all ended happy. But there was no devastation along the way. So, that is why I felt so bad for you guys, not cause your son did not get into Yale but on the expectations going into it that here he was such a fine candidate but not knowing that today, that is not enough to bank on! In fact, even our GC, who we love as a person but who does not deal very often with elite admissions, to this day will tell us that he will never get over that our D did not get into Yale even though we told him, we certainly never expected her to and easily understood the outcome because we know the situation, not cause we do not think she is "good enough" to get in. </p>
<p>In any case, that is why I hope those who read CC profusely, learn these "ins and outs" of college admissions today so that they can go into it informed and know what to expect, if ya know what I mean. Sharing your story, and Andi's as well, will HELP many others, believe me. </p>
<p>Susan</p>