<p>Applicannot, again, you have my empathy but your mom is not nattilee’s mother…people are different and what you experienced and the choices you had to make were the correct ones for YOUR situation, but not necessarily for ALL situations. What she will do if nattalie doesn’t step up may well lead to a very radical change in nattalie’s living conditions…imho, that will not help matters and may truly jeapodize her plans. Have you been in a shelter recently? The ones I’ve seen offer very little privacy or quiet, not to mention not being in the best of neighborhoods which leads to another host of potential problems. Most mothers would be loathe to ask their children for help unless they were getting desperate…only nattalee herself can judge what the level of need truly is based on her own experience.</p>
<p>Before you assume that I don’t understand, please know that I too grew up in a low-income family and have at various points in my life been in quite severe straits. My mom made less than $10K a year, had 5 kids, and took care of what seemed like every child she found in need. She regularly bought her pupils clothing, food, school supplies, even soap, because they had none. She made sure these kids had a small birthday gift and some cupcakes if their parents didn’t bother sending anything. My dad was a starving musician and owned another company that struggled just to keep out of the red…he always paid his employees but rarely got paid regularly himself. We grew most of our own food, wore hand-me-downs, got jobs at 16 (or earlier if we were lucky), and worked our way through college with loans and scholarships. My older sister and I often bought my younger sisters clothes and other treats that my parents couldn’t afford and our HS earnings helped to pay the electric and grocery bills when my mom caught hepatitis from a student and was very sick for a year. When the furnace and car both died in the same month while I was in HS, my sisters and I pooled our savings to help buy a new one…as I recall, no discussion of who was contributing how much was needed, but a new furnace sure was! </p>
<p>To us, none of it was a big deal because that’s what families were for…we all made it through school and several made it through grad/med school too. Everyone paid back their loans on time, got married, bought houses and had kids…in other words, no permanent damage was done because we helped our own family out. We never had any form of charity or public assistance - at the time, I don’t think we even realized that we were poor, although others may have. But we all still benefit from the values our parents instilled in us and consider ourselves lucky because our parents loved us, worked hard for us, and were wonderful role models. Their fortunes improved over time, as is often the case when there are no longer children to provide for, but they remained frugal and chose to leave us a fairly substantial amount. Btw, those savings would have been long gone had we not decided to honor my mother’s wish to remain in her home after my father’s sudden death, although it required us to care for her around the clock. Again, other than scheduling, no discussion was needed…that’s what families are for and we were very lucky that we could work together to give her the care she needed and give our kids, many of whom volunteered for regular shifts, a few more precious years with her.</p>
<p>So why should anyone help anyone if it may interfere with their own goals/dreams? My answer is because, as in nattalee’s case, it may not actually interfere at all and it’s possible the gift you give will be returned many times over. And because it is often simply the right thing to do. As human beings, we will all be in very poor shape if we refuse to help for our loved ones in their time of need when it is within our power to do so…not recklessly, but compassionately, by providing practical and reasonable support when it’s needed most.</p>