<p>they recognize the academic probation possibility now, but my parents now don't trust me to live away from home. they said until they see me stay in community college for a year and be able to see me progress, they wont trust me to live away.</p>
<p>i hate them.</p>
<p>if i didn't have such a fear of pain, i really would kill myself.</p>
<p>Consider that they might take a more moderate approach after some time has passed.</p>
<p>You are doing a good thing IMO by discussing this problem on CC.</p>
<p>I wonder if there is someone who you could talk to live or by telephone about your frustration. For example, the Nineline, 1-800-999-9999, <a href="http://www.nineline.org%5B/url%5D">www.nineline.org</a>.</p>
<p>Please keep us up-to-date on how you are feeling. All of us here care about you.</p>
<p>Ti-ta,
I wonder if it isn't that they do not trust you, but more the financial pressure that they are feeling to come up with the money for the cost of the college if you were to lose your scholarship. They may feel more comfortable "taking charge" of the situation by asking you to go to a cc now. Also, as many parents stated, this is new information for them and they need time to grapple with the problem, and help you with a plan of action.</p>
<p>Believe me, you are not alone. Many parents have experienced these academic problems when they were in college. I am sure that it is quite common. If you were to look at the graduation rates for many 4 year schools you would find that many, many have very low 4 year graduation rates. Part of the reason for this is b/c of the adjustment difficulties that freshmen students have, and then needing to tweak their majors or retake courses. Some also need to take time off, and work, or go to a cc for a year, b/c they lost their merit aid, or are not getting enough financial aid. Just please understand that this is not the end of the world, and you will be able to work through this successfully.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>
[quote]
i hate them.
[/quote]
Well, try to keep in mind that they didnt look at you as an infant long ago and then plot to have things turn out like this. These folks are trying with all their might to do what they think is best for you. It is just getting soiled by a whole lot of rage. They probably want you to pay for your crimes against them. And, also if youve been irresponsible and havent owned up to it, they are probably really upset about that too. If you know you tried as hard as you could, but still didnt do well, then for your own sake, try to realize your folks dont hate you. They are just really angry about everything. If you know youve been irresponsible, it you should probably admit this, at least to yourself. Then make a correction.</p>
<p>
[quote]
if i didn't have such a fear of pain, i really would kill myself.
[/quote]
haha. Well Im glad you are afraid of pain. You need to just stop this kind of talk. This is really small potatoes here. Just keep rolling with this. Get all ZEN about it and see where this is going. But all this weird talk about killing yourself isnt helpful.</p>
<p>Ti-Ta. Are you seriously thinking about killing yourself? You should call the suicide hotline in NY state. It is in the blue pages , probably 1st page. Or call information and ask for the number. You should call them and talk to someone about how you are feeling.Your parents reaction is exactly what you expected and they will need lots of time to begin to deal with this.YOU need someone to talk to, one on one, as you deal with their reaction and your own feelings. Please call someone.</p>
<p>New York suicide hotlines, by city, are at
<a href="http://suicidehotlines.com/newyork.html%5B/url%5D">http://suicidehotlines.com/newyork.html</a></p>
<p>There is also 1-800-SUICIDE.</p>
<p>Ti-Ta,
Do you have a relative or friend of the family who you can speak with? It might be helpful for a trusted and respected individual to intervene on your behalf and let your parents know that they are pushing you over the edge. Such a person could reinforce that you feel bad, are willing to try harder and will be keeping your scholarship. Also, you parents may listen a little more if it is coming from somebody other than you.</p>
<p>dont worry guys, i dont seriously want to kill myself.</p>
<p>i pretty much have no one to talk to. all of my non-immediate family relatives live far away, and i rarely speak to them. i dont want to tell my friends about all this drama, because it will make me feel even more like ****, because they're enjoying their summers so far, and are all in no dilemna(sp?) over coming back to school in the fall. even though my closest friends might be able to make me feel better, i dont want them to pity me.</p>
<p>its okay to let people help you, it is, your true friends will be there for you</p>
<p>and what if you went back to the school anyway, on probation...what does your scholarship cover? what expenses would you have to cover yourself</p>
<p>its a thought</p>
<p>Ti-Ta. Glad to hear it. Hope you mean it. Keep rereading the advice on this thread . Lots of people care and lots of good suggestions to choose from. D....n , you international guys have tough parents!</p>