<p>Okay - let me just say, I am NOT complaining, but it is a no win situation. And if you think saying you’re from Harvard is bad, at least people understand what you said the first time. Yale is a horrible name to pronounce. I can’t tell you how many times someone has asked my daughter where she is going to school and when she says Yale, they ask her to repeat what she has said. Now, I will admit some of these people were senior citizens from our church, but you get the picture.</p>
<p>Best misunderstanding, however, was reported to me by a woman from the south, who when asked where her son was going to school by an acquaintance, she replied, “Yale.”</p>
<p>The woman said, “Jail? Your Marty is going to Jail?”</p>
<p>I agree with Coureur, adding something else that leads in another direction is really helpful - I always say she is really enjoying herself and she loves her roommates.</p>
<p>I mentioned this not too long ago, but our older DD went to state university and wears her school gear frequently - they do have a great football program. Younger DD only wears school stuff at school, never at home.</p>
<p>Every time I read these threads about schools being conversation killers, I wonder where people live. Does this happen in areas where it is extremely rare for kids to get into Ivy league schools? I can’t imagine it getting much of a reaction one way or the other where I live. I’ve asked my acquaintances with kids at Harvard, Yale, Princeton, etc. and they think I’m making it up that parents report weird responses when they say where their kids go to school. The only school I know that gets that kind of reaction is Julliard.</p>
<p>We live in middle class southern California. Here most of the smart kids go to a UC. Each year our high school sends maybe one or two of the very top graduates to HYPSM, so going to one of those schools is often viewed as a Big Deal.</p>
<p>Isn’t this the truth. I cannot stand when engaged in a conversation with a co worker, colleague or an aquaintance, knowing that we mutually have kids in college and they become evasive when asked where their kid goes. I have no respect for that.
The general answer is the region of the country(northeast, west coast, florida.)</p>
<p>“She’s a junior at Harvard and after having grown up in California she’s really enjoying the winter and four-seasons of the northeast. She considers the snow to be a real treat.”</p>
<p>Yeah, that’s usually what I do. “I went to law school at XYZ but I grew up here, and I’ve been back here for seven years now, it’s great to be home.”</p>
<p>Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t hubris to think that the school your kid went to is prestigious enough to warrant hiding the ball in conversation.</p>
<p>I’ve sometimes had people who hide the ball re college because they don’t think you’ve ever heard of the college and they don’t want to endure the “Huh…never heard of it” refrain.</p>
<p>I once had someone who was very general about the college he attended. Oh, you won’t have heard of it, he said. Try me, I said. It was Rose-Hulman. Well, I could wax eloquent about Rose-Hulman, after all my years on CC. He was pretty amazed. Not many non-engineering people in California know about RH apparently.</p>
<p>I distinctly remember the first day of a summer internship during law school many moons ago. All the interns were introducing themselves and indicating where they attended law school, when one young man said, “I go to school in New Haven.” :rolleyes: He was perceived as a wise*ss, because in the presence of other law students, it wasn’t necessary to “hide” his law school. There were kids from Harvard Law, etc., who had the internship.</p>
<p>love the “Jail? Your Marty is going to jail?” that is too precious…reminds me of when we first realized my MIL had a hearing problem…she joined my husband and son in a local education foundation spelling bee…she is voracious with her crossword puzzles etc…well, unfortunately, her hearing prevented them from any real chance of doing well because she spent most of the 30 seconds allowed to spell, asking over and over again, “what was the word?” My husband was stunned the first time she asked for it to be repeated… and ultimately he realized they were toast… tough to have that kind of a family realization on a stage!!</p>
<p>I have answered “my S is going to school in New Haven” as a way to cushion the Yale name at times… some folks are just asking more out of politeness and it has been an attempt to be modest…but I love the examples of deflection cited here… roommates and weather, so I will be much more mindful going forward of how best to incorporate that technique…I do like that, thanks</p>
<p>here’s hoping the OP’s son had a nice visit today at UVA…</p>
<p>Here’s a good one - all of my husband’s siblings and their spouses went to Harvard Business School (that’s 6 of them in one room when we’re all together). I went to a California state school. Imagine how I felt when we were first dating! Twenty-two years later I know for sure that Harvard may offer an amazing education and have a huge impact when mentioned, but it doesn’t necessarily make for especially interesting or warm and fuzzy folks :)</p>
<p>I don’t go to Harvard but I’m a med student with an ivy pedigree. I tell very few people about where I go to school and usually just say that I go to grad school. My parents volunteer that information much more than I do, although they state it in a matter-of-fact manner.</p>
<p>“Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t hubris to think that the school your kid went to is prestigious enough to warrant hiding the ball in conversation.”</p>
<p>Sometimes it is hubris. I know someone who said she turned down a merit aid scholarship to “a prestigious private college.” After hearing her say that twice, I asked her what the college was. </p>
<p>Oh, really? All that lovely money down the drain :(Making for warm and fuzzy folks is, I believe, the parents’ job (whether it’s nurture or nature is irrelevant), not the school’s.</p>
<p>" I wonder where people live. Does this happen in areas where it is extremely rare for kids to get into Ivy league schools?"</p>
<p>Yes. I live in a small city where there’s wannabe public flagship university, and probably about 3 kids from the county go off to HPY each year, and perhaps 4 more go to other Ivies. Most high schools here send no students to Ivies. People here worship flagship and wannabeflagship state U. So, if one says that one’s kid goes to an Ivy or that one went to an Ivy, it’s a conversation stopper even among local university faculty members.</p>
<p>Not saying the college name may work either way. Around here it is common to hear parents say their child “is going to school in Gainesville”. This is the home of the University of Florida, which is the top public college in Florida (though people will obejct to this). But also in Gainesville is a community college (very nice one at that). 9 times out of 10 when the parent says “going to school in Gainesville”, they are being vague in order to give the listener the incorrect impression that their child attends UF rather than the cc.</p>
<p>All this reminds me of the southern boy who went to a college party and met a couple of college girls there, to whom he said, “Where do you girls go to school?” and they said, “Yale,” and he said, “WHERE DO YOU GIRLS GO TO SCHOOL?”</p>