<p>A red Solo cup holds 20 ounces. A standard beer bottle is 12. A kid drinking from a party cup is likely to think they’ve had two beers when in reality they’ve had 3 1/3.</p>
<p>Sue22 and I must live in different areas. Where I live, I have seen solo cups in other sizes.</p>
<p>in re the social host situation; state laws differ.
In my state, who provides the alcohol matters. If legal adults bring their own booze to my party then they are responsible for their own actions. If I provide alcohol to them then I can be held liable for their actions. Our law used to be that the last place they drank was responsible for later actions, but that was changed.</p>
<p>As long as they are underage, ONE drink is too many. The legal drinking age in the US is 21. I tell my kids that they are breaking the law if they drink even one alcoholic drink - so legal repercussions are completely justified. I am not completely unrealistic - I know that both of my underage kids drink occasionally. But what they are doing is illegal and I do not condone it. I try to reinforce to them that they should never drink and drive - even one drink, because you don’t know how it will effect you. </p>
<p>I really sympathize with the OP. There but for the grace of God… All kids make poor judgments and as parents, we can’t monitor their every move. I just pray that this kid learns his lesson and can move on and succeed in college and life. One of my D’s best friends got a DUI right after graduation 3 years ago. After serving some time and getting her license revoked, she was offered a deal to go to college or enlist in the military and have her record expunged. She enlisted, but that didn’t work out either. She just never bounced back and now just drifts through life with no goals. One bad decision can really change your life.</p>
<p>I hope you know, megp, that in many states there are many circumstances where an underage person can drink legally.</p>
<p>Sure, for religious purposes, or with parents present, etc. I have no problem with a glass of wine with dinner (if they are not driving anywhere), but, I have no respect for parents who let their kids have a kegger at home because “I’d rather have them drink here”. Lazy parenting, IMO.</p>
<p>The alcohol content of wines, beers, liquor, etc can vary. So even trying to monitor consumption by glass size may not work, nor can anyone easily keep an eye on how many beers or glasses of wine anyone consumes. And I’ve heard of parties where guests spiked the eggnog or punch with additional alcohol!</p>
<p>younghoss, I don’t know of a state that allows kids to bring alcohol into a prom. Truly, the activities we’re discussing here are illegal in most states.</p>
<p>We’re not talking about a kid’s parent allowing them to have a drink with dinner or champagne at a wedding with family members, etc.</p>
<p>Then we agree, cromette. I don’t know of any state that permits it either. Why do you suggest it? Why do you address it to me? I didn’t say anything even close to the idea that somewhere kids were permitted to bring alcohol to a prom.
Megp made a blanket statement in post 783:
“The legal drinking age in the US is 21. I tell my kids that they are breaking the law if they drink even one alcoholic drink …” that was flat out wrong, or at best, incomplete. I responded to her in my post 784, and even addressed my response to her… I mentioned that it wasn’t correct as written, and megp clarified in post 785 that she does know of exceptions for legal underage drinking. Even there, no examples of drinking at a prom were stated.</p>
<p>
As one of my friends is wont to say, “That we cannot perform the surgery in a sterile operating theatre is no reason to perform it in a sewer.”</p>
<p>Unless you chain your guests to a chair as soon as they arrive, and only give them their keys upon administering both a breathalyser and a blood-based BAC test, you run the risk of having guests, who have consumed alcohol on the premises, drive home legally intoxicated and getting into an accident for which you may be liable. Most normal people are just careful about what they serve and do it in a way so that their adult guests, many of whom are parents, homeowners, and working professionals, are able to understand how much booze they are consuming.</p>
<p>“Then we agree, cromette. I don’t know of any state that permits it either. Why do you suggest it? Why do you address it to me? I didn’t say anything even close to the idea that somewhere kids were permitted to bring alcohol to a prom.” </p>
<p>Just because in most of the situations that we’ve been discussing, including the one that started this thread, we’re talking about kids getting together drinking without the consent of any adult, much less a custodial parent. I got the impression that Megp was talking about these situations - not communion, not wine with dinner with parents, but one drink out and about with friends, whatever, is illegal.</p>
<p>It seemed like you were nitpicking words just a little - one of those “You know what I meant” moments. If I’m wrong, I apologize.</p>
<p>Of course the host of any event (dinner party, cocktail hour,etc) takes that risk, aries. Short of having them sign a waiver, which still would not release the host of liability, one takes a certain level of risk when serving any alcohol. Hopefully our friends dont overdo it.</p>
<p>Aries, such trust. The point here isn’t those who make wise decisions, who monitor their party guests or those drinkers who stop themselves early or arrange for a sober designated driver, etc. </p>
<p>We have many responsibilities to our kids and can’t control everything they do. But we can keep open in our minds, the real possibility they may drink to excess. And be prepared to deal with that. Before there is trouble. Eyes wide open and a low tolerance for excuses.</p>
<p>The reason I pointed out the availability of self-test devices is that it is NOT only teenagers who get arrested for DUI. Some of the young people posting on this thread are over age 21; some of us are parents of kids who are over age 21; and parents who habitually drive after moderate social drinking can also find themselves being hauled off to jail as well.</p>
<p>When I see comments such as that teens are are only arrested because of being “blitzed” – while I agree that it is far more likely for someone who is very drunk to be stopped than someone who is borderline – I think that continues to fuel a dangerous myth among adult social drinkers – that they are “ok” because a person has to be very inebriated to reach the limit.</p>
<p>Don’t use an “app” that lets you do your own calculation. Either get out of the habit of combining driving with social drinking if you regularly have more than a single glass of wine or beer with a meal, or invest the $50 or so to buy the device to check your own BAC. </p>
<p>Again – this is a message for the over-21 crowd. Minors in high school should not be drinking at all. That is an unrealistic expectation the 18-20 set in college, but it is fare more realistic for that group to refrain entirely from driving. (Most underage college drinking goes on in dorms or nearby venues such as frat houses, usually within easy walking distance. ) </p>
<p>But 17 year olds grow up and change over time, so it’s never too early to get the message across.</p>
<p>And again, the mandatory penalties in many states apply to 55 year olds as well as 20 year olds. People can and do get arrested for DUI after only moderate social drinking, when their BAC is only borderline over the limit, but the consequences of an arrest can be very serious for adults. In addition to jail, the license suspension can result in the loss of a job for anyone whose work requires that they drive. It isn’t always a matter of the police targeting someone or noticing erratic driving – sometimes people get arrested because they have been involved in very minor traffic accidents, sometimes not even their fault.</p>
<p>Well said, Calmom. A colleague of my husband was stopped at a checkpoint and when he rolled down the window as asked, there was enough of an odor of alcohol that he was asked to step out and do a field sobriety test. He did and the officer decided that a breathalyzer was not necessary, but it would have been a tough situation had they asked for one. DH was with him and both had had a couple of drinks, and neither felt that it was an issue, but they did not know for sure any more.</p>
<p>The officer was a bit nervous dealing with two middleaged/older men in suits, and was a lot more eager to let them go than the hapless young kids that were stopped. He did not make the driver go through the entire battery of the test.</p>
<p>If I’m calculating right, only 3 more nights. Hang in there, NCDad.</p>
<p>I think one thing we can all agree on is NCDad’s life has been crawling along these last 7 days. Just a few more left, but they will drag on like the hands of time have super glue on them. Just a shout out to let you know you are being thought of.</p>
<p>I shared my experiences with NCDad in a private message a while back because I didn’t want to derail the conversation that was going on here, but because this thread has been so productive I figure I’ll add to it. </p>
<p>I’m a rising college sophomore who recently did 5 days in jail for my first DUI. Like NCDad’s son it was my first arrest and first experience with the whole justice system. Unlike his son I was already in college when I received my DUI, so while it didn’t affect my admissions it certainly derailed my freshman year.</p>
<p>I guess the biggest hurdle for me is how impossibly stupid I felt in the weeks after I got arrested. I didn’t drink in high school, but everyone drank in college, and I made the mistake of getting behind the wheel after a long night of drinking. Idiotic, I know. I didn’t drink at all after my arrest and probably won’t when I go back to school next fall either.</p>
<p>I don’t want to make NC Dad any more worried about his son than he is but jail is TERRIBLE. 5 days of just kind of sitting there with a bunch of criminals. I will not make the same mistake again.</p>
<p>I’m still kind of shattered from the whole thing but I’ve gotten to the point that it’s part of my past and that I just have to keep living with the consequences of it.</p>
<p>Best wishes to you, Bennett.</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing that, Bennett. Sounds like it was horrible and also influential for you. Peace, and all the best for the future.</p>
<p>Bennett, thank you for sharing your personal experience. Many people can learn from the painful price you have paid. Take care.</p>