<p>I’m glad to hear that it worked out. I’m sure that she’s have a good experience.</p>
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<p>Not to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think it gets less time consuming after they receive a bid. I think the pledging or “new member education” period takes a lot of time and focus.</p>
<p>I think obsessmom’s D goes to D1’s school based on her previous posts. If that’s the case, it will be a lot of fun for her. She will get a lot of attention from her sorority. There will be parties, but she will be able to decide which one she wants to attend. Partying will also become safer for her because she will have rides to and from parties and there will be sobers at each party. </p>
<p>Congratulations.</p>
<p>My D is a junior at oldfort’s D’s school and was sooo looking forward to the big reveal at midnight tonight. She was waffling earlier this year about deactivating but is so happy she didn’t!
Hope obsessmom’s D has fun tonight!</p>
<p>woody - glad it worked out for your D. D1 is still very close with her sisters after graduation.</p>
<p>It’s nice to see that I’m not the only mom with a stomach full of knots over this topic. My D is a HS senior and is really excited about the idea of being in a sorority… but I’m already dreading the rush process! It feels like her whole life up to now has been one long contest… tryouts, auditions, elections, contests, class rankings… and now this agonizing college application process. Seems like there’s rarely a time when she’s not nervously awaiting the results of some competition or other. I sort of thought it would all be over once she was happily enrolled in college… but it never really ends, does it? I feel so bad for these kids, with all the stress they have to endure… and for us parents who have to endure it right along with them! But it’s comforting to hear from those who have been through it, and survived! :)</p>
<p>At least with a girl the process is structured. When DS goes through fraternity recruitment next year, it will seem much more random. Bids can be given at any time, they can have multiple bids and it seems to be a bunch of parties that one can choose to attend all or only one.</p>
<p>And the boys don’t get lists of what kind of outfits to buy, ordered to get spray tans, nails and highlights done before rush, or cut because they aren’t “hot” enough.</p>
<p>I don’t want this to be taken the wrong way but for the life of me I can’t understand why someone would want to go through this judgemental obnoxious process. My college kid does plenty of service and has plenty of friends and parties without having to be approved before being admitted. Jea - why would you want your daughter to go through this process? My daughter is an actress and goes through professional rejection frequently but to do so just to join a club of girls who are trying to decide if you are worthy of their friendship? Seriously?</p>
<p>Oldfort - both my husband and I are still very close with many of our college friends more than 30 years later and we were not in the Greek system whereas two of my college friends never got the support they thought they would get from their “sisters” and rarely, if ever, are in touch. So I don’t believe that’s special to being Greek.</p>
<p>Like I said, I am really curious as to why anyone would want to do this (or have their daughter do this). Can someone help me?</p>
<p>Cross-posted with tptshorty, but that sort of plays to my point.</p>
<p>I never joined a sorority because my LAC only had fraternities. I think for people who never belonged don´t really know what it is like, and that is fine. But I do think it is very judgemental to come on here to say, “I can’t understand why someone would want to go through this judgemental obnoxious process.” </p>
<p>There has been many discussions on pros and cons of joining the Greek life. I don´t think there is a need to start it again on this thread when OP was just looking for support, which she got from most of us. </p>
<p>For anyone who doesn´t think it is the right organization for their kids, there is an obvious choice. It worked out very well for D1. It enhanced her college experience, and probably ultimately helped her land her job.</p>
<p>amtc, I think there are always people who enjoy being part of a group and those who prefer to be “above” all of that. It seems that the ones who are in greek life really don’t think that much about or worry too much about the judgements of those who aren’t greek. But those who aren’t greek seem to really care about or judge those who are in greek life. </p>
<p>The process is crazy, but for a lot of people the process is the most fun part. For whatever reason, they are into it. They enjoy planning and stressing over what to wear. They like trying to find a group of women who share their values and want to spend time with them. Was it for me? No. But for my DD rush and pledging was one of her favorite semesters at school. </p>
<p>She really enjoys the formality of an organized group. She keeps a very busy hectic schedule and having a structured social life makes it easier for her stay social without having to put too much effort into arranging plans. It works for her.</p>
<p>Well, I think I can answer that question. When I went through school, I knew only one person from my area. It was a way to meet people, make friends, have leadership opportunities. the appeal of Greek life appeals to kids in ebbs and flows. Nowadays, it makes perfect sense that we are raising kids that are attracted to Greek life. We, as parents, have helped them structure their lives for 18 years. While I used to run out of the house in the summer and find fun, my kid had practices, organized play dates and expectations. In high school, my parents were happy when we got above a C. In order to get into a good school, DS knew that he needed good grades, and he delivered. We are on CC after all, so we want our children to succeed in all they do. It is appealing to know that there will be a moe structured social schedule full of programming</p>
<p>Getting into a sorority takes a combination of good resume, good contacts in some places (may be friends with memebers or getting recs from alumnae) and social skills-the ability to talk and shine.I had a good resume, absolutely no contacts, but they saw something in me that made them want to live with me and be my sister. It is more about finding people that you want to eat popcorn with after a long study session. I have been an advisor for 12 years now with various chapters and all are very diferent, but the sisterhood remains. You can get this outside of Greek life-but it IS there in Greek life, and it is easier to find. </p>
<p>If you find it exclusionary, so be it. I do believe it is a meritocracy based on social skills that money can’t buy and shallow can’t fake. I have worked with chapters where daddy’s money mattered and where you couldn’t tell the Pell grant girl from her trust fund roommate. It is painful when your child doesn’t get a top choice, but it is a lesson in perseverence, deciding whether to drop out of give other groups a chance. In a few cases it can be a leson in consequences, since actions that you did your first week of school can cause you to denied from a chapter based on reputation. It can be random and crazy but it is a choice that mom and dad can’t help them with-it belongs to them for better or worse.</p>
<p>These threads always bring out the “haters.” </p>
<p>To obsessmom, the best lesson for your D is to remember the anxiety she felt in rush and turn that into sympathy to others in the coming years going through rush. It can sometimes be a petty process so stand up to that in the coming years and make the feelings of other important. </p>
<p>I am planning a get together with 4 of my sorority sisters from 35 years ago. My alma mater only provided housing to sorority members senior year so we only lived together one year but have always stayed in touch. The housing situation also ensured that we had plenty of friends who were either in other sororities or didn’t pledge at all.</p>
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<p>Non sorority girl here, but I totally agree with the above. </p>
<p>It’s not necessary that we “understand” why other people make the choices they do. It’s more important that we understand our own motivations for our behavior and be happy with the choices we make as a result. I had the same feeling about the Baylor thread after about the 500th post. Over and over it was stated that the girl in question should come onto the thread and answer queries about her thought processes in choosing a school so others could “understand it.” Not necessary to understand other peoples’ choices, particularly if they don’t harm you or yours. </p>
<p>Live and let live. D1 joined a sorority, decided after a year it really wasn’t for her. D2 will probably join one and love it. That’s okay too.</p>
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<p>Just curious if you could have phrased it in an any more judgmental or obnoxious way.</p>
<p>Here we have a case where a parent came here looking for some support for a situation she found stressful. She was not in any way asking for anti-Greek opinions (a bit too late for that…as her daughter was at the tail end of the process) yet someone will alway pipe in as to why the Greek system is the damnation of society. </p>
<p>As to the OP. I wish you daughter all the best. My daughter went through the process in August (2011) and it has been nothing but a wonderful, supportive and fun filled adventure for her. Was rush tough? Of course. Anything worth something is going to have demands. My daughter went through what is known as one of the most brutal recruitments in the country and not only did she survive (most do if they enter with an open mind) but she built skills in this process that many won’t ever come close to. The perseverance, stamina, positive attitude in difficult times…the list goes on. She looks back at it as one of the most rewarding times in her life. She stayed true to who she was, she got an excellent result and she loves her college life. Just yesterday she was telling me that she went somewhere on the strip and it took her forever to get there because she ran into so many people she knew. She was with a friend from high school (not in a sorority) and that person said, “how do you know so many people?” She knew some from her degree program, but most were from the connections she made in Greek Life. Those connections continue outside of college and if parents who are anti-Greek, think it doesn’t matter in the outside world, it does. When a Greek affiliated person interviews for a job vs a non-affiliated person with equal skill sets, and that interviewer is Greek affiliated, who gets the job? Teachers judge students when they walk into their classrooms before they even turn in their first paper. Directors judge actors before they open their mouths. Men judge women the second they walk in the door. Life is full of book-by-the-cover evaluations. You have to learn to get beyond that and move forward. The Greek system is a great place to start. Can you find bits and pieces outside the system…of course. So OP, I hope your D loves her new family and if the experience is anything like my Ds, she is store for a wonderful time. And to the haters…stay in your lane.</p>
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<p>Honestly, I was shocked it didn’t happen until post #29. I would have bet we would see it around 5 or 6.</p>
<p>D’s experience with her sorority was fun all around, great support and personal growth including going to nationals. And it is coming from person who had no plans being in sosority at all, but decided to try to be able to meet more girls outside of her very challenging major. She has accomplished much more and gain much more than anticipated from this experience. We did not care one way or another. It would not be any kind of tragedy if she got rejected. She was interested only in one sorority and has helped to transition it from colony to chapter at her UG. But according to her, many do not participate, they just pay fees and do not do anything. She never understood the purpose of that.</p>
<p>to the OP, congrats to your daughter. I know she will make bonds that will last her a lifetime. </p>
<p>My D will be going thru recruitment next gall and I know it will be a tough process for her and me (waiting at home to know what is going on)</p>
<p>I am not a “hater” as some of you believe, I am truly looking for the appeal of this process. And my phrasing was based on the stress, hurt, and randomness voiced by other posters. Some of you answered my question, some of you did not. It is a foreign concept to me, I have never experienced any of it and those that I know who have, did not find it positive so, yes, I may be a bit negative but I am trying to understand it’s appeal to others. Even if I don’t agree, I’d like to know why. Oh, and I knew there was no upbeat way to ask this question which is why I prefaced it the way I did. Thank you to those who are confident enough in their convictions to explain without condemning.</p>
<p>I didn´t like the judgemental tone, and because I felt it was judgemental it didn´t mean I was not confident in my conviction that it was the right choice for D1. I just didn´t feel like it was worth my time to respond.</p>