<p>Fredo, good for your daughter for sticking out a tough year and second time through Rush - I'm glad to hear it ended well. Congratulations!</p>
<p>bumping Fredo's thread since it is that time of year again</p>
<p>I like the way my Ds' schools do it; D1 doesn't allow girls to rush until second semester freshman year, and D2's school doesn't allow it until first semester sophomore year. Gives them a chance to get their bearings before having to make such a commitment.</p>
<p>The OP's D's school did have deferred recruitment after Christmas Break as did my D's. One thing about deferred recruitment as opposed to freshman fall recruitment is that the freshman rushees hear all the university gossip, innuendos and stereotypes ALL fall semester. Some PNMs take it to heart that XYZ is really the nerdy girl/guy group, no one respects them on campus and that ABC is the way to go.</p>
<p>My S's update is that after a tough weekend when everyone else seemed to get bids to the fraternity they wanted, he joined the club rugby team and has lived happily ever after. Like Fredo's D, he decided to re-rush fall semester sophomore year, but dropped out before the process was over. The rugby team is his fraternity, as are his 6 other apartment mates and all his other friends, both in and out of fraternities. Now the question will be whether my freshman D will rush this fall. She goes to a school with a minimal Greek presence, but may investigate the option anyway.
Good luck to all posters (and lurkers) whose Ss and Ds may be going through rush this fall. It truly can be a real learning experience, in many ways.</p>
<p>Runnersmom: Very good point. Since my son never had the money to consider a frat (his words), he joined Ultimate Frisbee. They have been his best buds ever since.</p>
<p>weenie...</p>
<p>Having been in a sorority, I was surprised to see how much it all costs now... It's a wonder anyone but the most affluent can afford to pledge these days... </p>
<p>My friend's two sons pledged at my son's college and she says that the frat costs her more than (in-state) tuition. Her hubby is a surgeon so money isn't a problem...</p>
<p>fredo, I was almost afraid to read your update, having recalled the heartbreak your D went through and how much you hurt FOR her.</p>
<p>I'm so glad the story turned out so well...and that you have some peace of mind knowing she's managed it all and is happy with the outcome.</p>
<p>Fredo, thank-you for posting this time around. I just went back and read your original thread from last year. I posted on 10/05/07 about my own D. </p>
<p>D actually decided to "suicide" pref a certain sorority at her school. Her school does not have a large greek presence. Well, it didn't turn out well! I want you to know that it has helped me to read your excellent and thoughtful posts, and I am very thankful for CC. How else could we possibly connect with other parents in this situation?? As I mentioned in my previous post, I think this is bothering me more than my D. But I am much better lately, mainly thanks to everyone on these boards!</p>
<p>And I am very very happy to hear that things have turned out well for your D!</p>
<p>My D pledged to a sorority last Spring during her freshman year and before initiation, changed her mind, citing that it was overpriced, taking up too much of her time and drawing her away from friends she had already made on her own.
The girls in the sorority have been really nasty to her this year on the few occasions she has been around them. Sadly, even the ones she lived in an apartment with during the summer months have been acting like little snooty highschoolers!
I just told her that there will always be girls {and women} like that and to never let them bring her down to their level of thinking.</p>
<p>She is actually much happier now, getting excellent grades, staying very involved with clubs, activities and community service and has more time to spend with her real friends! :-)</p>
<p>I definitely think it is best to wait to their second year of college to pledge a sorority or fraternity! Alot of things change for them after that first year as they become more independent and aware of the world around them!</p>
<p>There is definitely a rub when it comes to greek associations- I know... I've been there. My oldest was in a fraternity when my youngest went to the same campus. Being "best friends", my kids wanted to hang with each other just as they did throughout their lives (they even played sports together on the same teams throughout childhood and high school). It would have been impossible for younger to NOT join the fraternity and still expect to hang out there all the time (they have a game room, weight room, theater room, parties, etc.) with big bro. It was definitely a matter of, "if you want to keep hanging out here, you're going to have to join up." As a parent, that meant two kids paying fraternity dues, but I understand how the system works. Yikes. So now we pay the dues, so to speak, for both DPsr and DPjr. :eek:</p>
<p>Congrats to your daughter. I'm glad it worked out well for her. </p>
<p>But a perfect description of why campuses dominated by frats, sororities, and eating clubs are abhorrent to many.</p>