Speech Help

<p>Can you guys read my speech for Academic Decathlon and suggest some ways for me to make it longer? thanks. btw. Its a rough draft.
Abercrombie and Fitch has been one of the leaders in teenage fashion for years. My friends and I have always thought it was the perfect place for us to spend our money on. After all, their clothes are always fashionable and chique. However, my love for Abercrombie and Fitch disappeared on one perfect day. That day I finally got that catalog I was anticipating for so long. I was shocked when I turned that glossy cover. Picture this: two cartoon faces staring back at you with slanted eyes and rice paddy hats. It all seems so innocent until you read the bold words across the front: “Wong Brothers Laundry Service- Two Wongs Can Make It White.”<br>
Aside from the politically incorrectness of the statement that makes fun of the inability of many immigrant Asians to pronounce the letter “R” and the stereotypical job occupations that Asians work, I understand that the slogan was meant to be funny. After all, Abercrombie and Fitch make fun of everybody, from the hillbillies of West Virginia to the stewardesses of the air, so it was not suppose to be a personal attack or anything like that. Maybe it was because of the pride that I have of my heritage and who I am that I took such an offense by it. I felt hurt and angry inside when I saw that shirt and the many others T-shirts with a similar message displayed in the front window. I guess, in a way, the problem of the shirts go beyond the company of Abercrombie and Fitch. After all, their main goal is to sell their merchandise and the only things that sell are what their customers deem popular. What the public wants is largely influenced by what is shown as cool on television.<br>
The Hollywood portrayal of Asian Americans has become the public’s primary vision of who Asians are. These stereotypical and outdated views are only enforced by what we see on the movie screen and television. Half of the acting jobs that are available to people of Asian descent are nothing but the stereotypical ones as the freakishly smart child prodigy, the camera-toting tourist, or the very flexible kung-fu expert. While I do not doubt that there are some Asian people like that, these roles do not fit every Asian person you meet on the street. When Hollywood is not creating more people like Lane’s mother on the television show Gilmore Girls, who is obsessively pushing her daughter to marry Korean doctors, they are pushing the opposite image. This insensitivity occurs in the recently released movie, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, starring many people of Asian descent. The portrayal of the fictional characters shocked me. Throughout the duration of the whole movie, Harold and Kumar did not do anything except get high, get lost, and get an unbelievable craving for hamburgers.<br>
The United States has always been a land of diversity. However, being a land of diversity does not necessarily mean that our country is a land of acceptance. On the contrary, it might even come to be reasoned that we live in a country, although rich in economical standards, is poor in racial acceptance. In fact, through the media and influential companies such as Abercrombie and Fitch, racial stereotypes are encouraged in our society. Look around you. The most influential things in our lives are reinforcing these habits and indifferences. As our society values the entertainment that television provides us, their portrayal of the different races tell people that it is ok to portray people however you want. I am not urging everybody to boycott these stores and companies; I urging people to open their minds and rid themselves of ancient stereotypes.</p>

<p>amen!!</p>

<p>I have a few proofreading-type points, er not so useful for a speech...
- in the second sentence, "on" is unnecessary
- in this case it should be "political incorrectness" since in the sentence "It is incorrect", politically functions as an adverb (incorrect...how?) hence -ly, but in the phrase "Aside from the incorrectness", political is an adjective describing the form of incorrectness, if that makes any sense
- "chic" instead of "chique", but that's stooping to new lows, correcting spelling in a speech, in the same vein "many other t-shirts"
- "It might even come to be reasoned" seems long; i'd go for word economy like "I think/feel" or "One could say"
- lastly I am not sure "ancient" is the correct word, as many of these stereotypes have come about in the past one or two generations. To break out the thesaurus, "bigoted", "intolerant", "useless", "misguided"?
ways to make it longer don't spring to mind, sorry...good luck at the decathlon!</p>

<p>My only thought on what is otherwise a good speech: ALL you are telling us to do is rid ourselves of stereotypes? The conclusion kind of left me going...that's all you want? You're telling me of racial prejudice and ALL you want is for me to not stereotype? Sheesh. Try urging something better: when you see those stereotypes talked of, speak up and say, "That's not true." Don't buy clothes that encourage racial profiling. Etc. Give me something more.</p>

<p>Thanks for the help. Yeah I know my conclusion is sorta flimsy. I keep trying to fix it but it just becomes...eh. Thanks for the help, it is always good for a fresh view of things.</p>

<p>lol bump :P</p>

<p>I hope we're not too late to help him!!</p>