<p>I would encourage you to join the Catholic group - not for the religion but to find some kids who you may connect with. The Catholic groups at most colleges (and other religious groups too) also have a social aspect. I know at D's school they have bbqs, arrange trips to dinners, movies, bowl, plan community service trips, and other activities. You don't have to attend church or do or believe anything you don't want to. Also, just attend any meetings/groups you have even a slight interest in - outdoor club, newspaper. Hang in there.</p>
<p>"Yes they are very loud. I have no problem with her having a boyfriend over. But our walls are paper thin and at 3am and 4am when they were screaming and giggling it did start to get irritating"</p>
<p>So tell her. If not, you'll just get more upset while she assumes that what she's doing is fine.</p>
<p>I was serious with my question asking whether she was entertaining her boyfriend in your room -- i.e. having sex with him while you were trying to sleep. That's the kind of thing that many students had to deal with when I went to college back in the Stone Ages, and it still happens.</p>
<p>Wow northstarmom well I guess it could be a lot worse so .lol!! I'll have my first lectures tomorrow so I'll let you all know how things are.</p>
<p>You are just going to need to stick with it. Your not the first person to deal with these problems and you won't be the last.</p>
<p>Whatever you do, do not run back closer to home. This is the stage of life where you have to branch out and become your own person with your own support network. It will take time to get the hang of it, but that time will come.</p>
<p>but what if a person needs to be closer to home to help with anxiety issues? u can still get the college experience of "independence" (sp?) by living in the dorm, even if you're close to home, right?</p>
<p>Yes, you can be independent while staying in a dorm near home.</p>
<p>A friend of mine's S is going to a college where both of his parents teach. His home is literally 3 blocks from his dorm. He hasn't been home once, not even to do laundry. He hasn't even told his roommate that his parents teach there. He communicates with his parents less often than do probably most students who truly are going to college away from home. He comes from a very close, loving family, so this isn't easy!</p>
<p>If one wants to be independent at a nearby college, it's possible, but one has to have a lot of self discipine because it's very tempting to go home often and to rely on parents for help when you face the inevitable challenges.</p>
<p>3 blocks! i think that's stretching it, really. i mean, if he wants to get away from his parents, at least choose a...10 block distance!:)</p>
<p>Well I've just decided that I am going to move out of the dorm and into a home with a family. I know that someone said not to but there have been more problems over the weekend and I really don't want to stay. As for today I didn't see the girl that I had met on Friday so ate alone.</p>
<p>How do you plan to meet people by living off campus? </p>
<p>I know that it's difficult negotiating rules with roommates, but learning to do that is an important part of the college experience. You'll be negotiating things like that for the rest of your life including with things like co-workers and even romantic partners.</p>
<p>Living on campus also makes it much easier to meet people and to get to things like club meetings. </p>
<p>I know it's tough getting to know people, but it is much harder doing this when you don't have to do things like eat in the cafeteria. Meanwhile, the lessons you'd learn now about how to meet new people will help you in the future when you do things like start new jobs or do summer internships or even do a junior year abroad. What you're experiencing are challenges for virtually everyone, but with practice, you learn how to handle the situations, and it also gets lots easier.</p>
<p>NSM is right - you're exhibiting a very bad grade-school era defense mechanism here. You say you can't meet anyone so you are going to isolate yourself? It doesn't really work.</p>
<p>suzanneryan - this sounds like a tough situation; I hope it works out OK for you. When I started college I was incredibly shy and did not drink, party, or do drugs ... needless to say my social life got off to a VERY slow start. What turned it around for me was that my dorm, luckily also had a few upper classman in the dorm ... and what did they do? After 80% of the freshman took off to bars (I'm old 18 was legal back then) and/or frat parties or some other extraverted activity these Juniors and Seniors walked the halls and invited all the freshman left behind to go to a movie, a walk, an ultimate frisbee game, etc ... something much smaller and quieter (and for me MUCH less intimiatating) ... thankfully these guys help mefind the other quieter kids who were like me. By the end of Christmas break my school was my home but it was not an easy first couple of months ... but I am glad I stuck it out at the school and in the dorm. (BTW - fast forward to my junior and senior years and I was the guy walking the halls collecting the isolated freshman to make sure they got out and about and met some other of the quieter kids. Good luck!</p>
<p>3togo-thanks for the message!I wish my dorm had been like that. Actually my roomates and I were called into a meeting because there were some serious problems i.e hard drugs so I thought it best to leave. I am still eating in the cafateria and I am introducing myself to new people everyday and plan on joining some societies. It is very common here for first years to stay in family homes so I don't think that it should cause too many problems. I realise that it seems as though I am isoating myself I don't think that I am . Besides I don't think I'll ever be sharing a home with 5 others again- our dorm consisted of individual apartment units- and we already have to make presentations etc. which are improving my social skills etc.</p>
<p>"Actually my roomates and I were called into a meeting because there were some serious problems i.e hard drugs so I thought it best to leave. :</p>
<p>Were your roommates using hard drugs? If so, the college should have called in the law and kicked them out. You shouldn't have had to leave.</p>
<p>Glad to hear that you're meeting new people, Sounds like things are looking up!</p>
<p>How far away from home are you, out of curiosity? I remember coming out to school my freshman year, I didn't know anybody, I was the only person from my high school going here (still am) and I had no family nearby. I came out early for marching band practice and by the time I had to say goodbye to my mom it hit me that I would be away from my family for a couple of months. I was very happy to be at the school, I just didn't want to be away from home!!!</p>
<p>Anyway, I'll second what other posters have said about getting involved in clubs and activities. Also, find out if there's anybody who lives near your home. Depending on how far away you live, sometimes it's possible to take a weekend off and go back home for a little bit. </p>
<p>Things will get better!!!!</p>