<p>So, I recently ran into an ex-girlfriend at a HS reunion and was surprised to find my old feelings for her rekindled. I'm not really sure what to do because I really thought I'd gotten over her when I went away to college. This is my first time sitting down with her face-to-face since our break up (I've been all over the place these past years). Truth be told, I want to start dating her again, but I know it's probably not gonna happen. We go to college in different cities and will likely go to grad school in different cities as well. However, I've been thinking...at what point does a person keep passing on potentially serious relationship because of distance? We broke up before college partly because of this, but I don't think it's right to keep doing this for grad school, jobs, etc. At the same time, I don't want her or my grad school options/jobs to be limited because of a relationship. Any advice?</p>
<p>I promise you it’s just a temporary thing. It will go away pretty soon, few weeks later if late.</p>
<p>But doesn’t love usually go through phases like that? doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not real.</p>
<p>It sounds like you aren’t upset about, or seeking to snuff out, your persistent interest in this girl, despite what the thread title suggests. Is that correct? Because I think I detect some ambivalence.</p>
<p>i think your only real options are either:
- talk to her
- forget about it completely and move on
you should probably talk to her and tell her you still have feelings for her. worst case scenario is she says a relationship wouldn’t be possible, which would make it easier for you to let go.
i would move on though.
p.s. i had written something else, then you edited and added grad school and jobs to the last sentence.</p>
<p>Don’t take high school relationships to college. EVER.</p>
<p>ee33ee, no I’m still really into her even if it doesn’t come off like that. If anything, I just don’t want to get my hopes up.</p>
<p>Attack, I don’t want to tell her about this if there’s no realistic chance of it happening… just don’t want to cause unnecessary pain. Also, I can’t just forget about it. That’s what we tried to do 4 years ago and apparently, some feelings last a long time, even if they remain buried. She also tells me she’s not in a relationship right now and is not looking for one, but maybe she’s just saying that. Also, she can change her mind.</p>
<p>Osucowboys, we didn’t do that. we’re already in college and about to graduate in a year.</p>
<p>this is going to go to 6 pages by tommorow i guarantee - :p</p>
<p>My advice- go for it if that is what would truly make you happy. You will only in school for maybe another 10 years but the other 40 you will want to share with someone so why not the girl you love</p>
<p>hey if anything you can come back her and we will console you</p>
<p>only on CC</p>
<p>Just go for it if you truly want her, you don’t want to regret not taking the chance.</p>
<p>why even bother going through all that trouble and giving yourself the hope especially when you know your NUMBER 1 top priority, which is school/jobs/education. unless u are sure u will be with her and see her in your future. Plus, you both went on separate ways and paths in life. you both go to diff. school, live in diff. cities, blah blah blah she has her own friends, her own life, so do you. your chances are slim though. She might not have same feelings for you though and girls mature differently than guys. Also, note that long distance relationships don’t always work… unless the couple knows they will end up being together in the future and both build a strong bond of trust. but in most cases, they end up breaking up.
By the way, just go for other fish in the sea instead of giving up on them all and sticking with the same old one. Hope that helps.</p>
<p>No, if anything, my question was slanted in the opposite direction. In your post you sound pretty stoic, like you’re calmly weighing rational choices. I was wondering if you might be dodging the question of whether/how you should get over this girl (which is the question I expected from reading the thread title).</p>
<p>Because to me, it seems like you’re getting way ahead of yourself, as she’s shown no interest and yet you’re reevaluating crucial life decisions in light of a potential relationship. And you say your feelings rekindled recently. That means they’ve been dead for 4 years, and presumably they should go away again once she does. Why, then, have they sparked so much introspection?</p>
<p>If possible, ask her out for coffee. If she says no and doesn’t offer another time that she’d be willing to go out, she’s not interested. If she does go out with you, she might be interested. Just talk to her and ask her if she’s seeing anyone at the moment, etc. If she’s free, ask her if she be up for giving you two another go.</p>
<p>All you can do is ask her. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no and you’re free to move on with your life.</p>
<p>EDIT:</p>
<p>Act quickly, because your feelings will only get more intense the longer you don’t know where you stand with her.</p>
<p>find her facebook and stalk her</p>
<p>lol Logicwarrior some guy already has a thread about stalking some macedonian chick on facebook haha</p>
<p>I have known many couples who have gone off and married other people only to return later in life post-divorce or widowing to marry their first love.</p>
<p>Basically your question is moot if she doesn’t feel the same way. Long distance relationships can take a huge toll but there is no reason not to keep in touch and see each other periodically just to see if your lives meander in the same general direction.</p>
<p>I can also attest, it’s not uncommon to have a very nostalgic feeling for past relationships when you haven’t seen them in awhile. There is a comfort level. Class reunions can also cause you to get sentimental because you tend to do alot of reminiscing before, during, and after.</p>
<p>Strangely, I was semi-stalked at my ten year reunion by a guy who had a huge crush on me in JH and I hadn’t seen in years. The thing was, I was married at the time (at the reunion, not in JH) and had just had a baby two weeks earlier and was at the reunion with my husband and nursing infant. Those factors didn’t really stop him much.</p>
<p>Note to self: Sappy 80’s tunes and mood lighting apparently cause people to howl at the moon.</p>
<p>Hungry Like the Wolf?</p>
<p>Is is really her that you’re into to or is it the fact that she reminds you of a more carefree and fun time in your life? You’re moving on to grad school and this is a new stress in your life. The thought of holding on to something from your past may be a security blanket for you. </p>
<p>It’s just a thought. Think about it.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Exactly. I had forgotten that one.</p>
<p>Since it is the summer, I am putting my money on 8 pages at least by tomorrow. 6 is baby stuff 
Anyways I like the coffee idea. Ask her out for coffee and see how she responds. Good luck, and I think this is so cute!
Wish something like that will happen to me one day.</p>
<p>“I have known many couples who have gone off and married other people only to return later in life post-divorce or widowing to marry their first love.”</p>
<p>I have been happily married for twenty-five years, but have always been in written contact with the person with whom I had a seven year relationship throughout middle school and high school. That old friend and I married in the same month, and we have agreed that should we find ourselves widowed, we will marry each other. Our spouses think we’re silly, but you never know…</p>