Stressed out junior D equals stressed out parents

Parents Forum
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<p>I appreciate all the information. We have not started doing college visits yet, but it’s fast approaching. The first one we’re going to is in June at UVA – I’ll let you all know how it goes. UVA’s admission policy from what we’ve heard is basically a crap shoot, as is William and Mary. GC thinks her stats are good enough to get her into both, but we are looking at some safeties. I know Sweet Briar is one she liked the looked of, so I believe we’ll be visiting that one all. We have a friend’s son who is up at Lynchburg, so I believe d and s are going to go visit the campus with him in the fall sometime.</p>

<p>Muhlenberg is not a college that I am very familiar with. I read through the website this morning (but we all know how those can be a bit misleading), but the drama department seems like a good fit for her. She loves drama and doesn’t want to give it, but yet doesn’t –think- she wants to major in it. I’ll show her the website and I’m sure she’ll look for other information on it as well if she likes it. That might be yet another to add to our list to visit, thank you for the suggestion!</p>

<p>D hasn’t given much thought to overnight visits, actually. She has a social anxiety disorder, not a very strong one but strong enough to make meeting new people upsetting (yet another reason that adds to her college stress – I’ll be relieved if she even makes it to application time without a heart attack). I think she might like an overnight visit when she’s narrowed it down to the colleges she really wants to go too… but I’m not pushing it at the moment. Right now the goal is for us to mention the word “college” without her turning green and fretting about her chances in admission. It’s a very stressful word right now. I’m glad to here your s enjoyed his overnight visit though – it’ll be relief to know if D does decide to take one.</p>

<p>I’m not to sure about D’s GC actually. We went in for conference with her a few months ago as a family and I was not pleased with the advice she gave us (another reason why I decided to post here). She is pushing UVA very strongly and when we said Swarthmore was the “top” choice right now, she brushed it aside. She doesn’t seem to feel it’s good for math and science, but for the arts… she feels my D would get a more “well rounded” education at UVA, or even William and Mary. She thought Michigan wasn’t worth the money out of state, and she even went as far to say that with colleges like UVA, Tech, and William and Mary that we shouldn’t really even be looking out of state unless D just is desperate to get away. She also thinks D stands good chance at Rodman’s or Echol’s if she gets into UVA… but with UVA’s admissions being what it is and the number of talented kids applying there, I’m not as positive. And even, D didn’t seem too blown away with UVA. It’s the top choice for most kids in her school and she wants a different atmosphere from High School. I didn’t agree with GC’s advice, but perhaps that’s just me.</p>

<p>Haha, it might be in the water they give us. I just feel the EE or any kind of engineering for that matter is a wonderful major. If I had my choice my daughter would go to college and fall in love with Aerospace. I just think it suits her. My wife however would love to see her fall in love with literature and become an author.</p>

<p>If anyone knows any nice LAC’s, I’d be interested in looking them up. Or even if there’s a book about them you’d recommend. I am not as college savvy as most people on here, and even then I only really know a lot about State schools. I’d never even heard of Swarthmore until my D found their website on one her web surfs and thought it might be a good school for her.</p>

<p>EDIT: Thanks for the book recc sbmomof3, I'll look a picking it up when I raid the bookstore tomorrow. :)</p>

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<p>Take your daughter down to NC and see Davidson. Search threads here for info about LACs and honors colleges. Davidson, Wake Forest, Elon University and Duke would be a fairly quick trip for you. You might want to take an Internet look at Richmond as well.</p>

<p>Va does have excellent state schools, and purely from a financial standpoint, it will be harder to get more education for the money. BUT, these are not for everyone, and she sounds a little like a person who will bloom at a LAC. If she goes to a large public in Va, I can see how her counselor may not look much farther than UVA and W&M, but a quiet girl may need something different.</p>

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<p>I'd recommend looking at Johns Hopkins. Even though technically it's not a liberal arts college-the undergrad enrollment is only about 1,000 a year and it has strong programs both in the sciences and humanities. Plus your daughter could take piano lessons at the music conservatory. You might also want to look at Smith, if your daughter doesn't mind going to an women's college. It is strong across the board and as a engineering program. Union College, Bucknell University, and Lafayette College are all smaller LAC schools that have an engineering school too.</p>

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<p>A book about LAC's that you might want to read is "Colleges that Change Lives." It's been recommended many times on this board, and it's a great resource to start thinking about LACs.</p>

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<p>If she does decide to visit Muhlenberg, then Lafayette and Lehigh are right there. Lehigh is a small university, with impressive engineering, that "looks" like a LAC and may feel somewhat like it. Lafayette has the strong engineering, is a LAC and gave me the feeling on our visit that they "wrap their arms around" their students. Seems to me a Pa. trip might be a good idea. These schools are not urban, but about 1 hr. from Philadelphia.</p>

<p>Sounds a bit like your GC is somewhat narrow in her perspective. You certainly want to listen to what she has to offer and nurture a good relationship with her. But you can come here for a ton of broadening.</p>

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<p>Let me get it straight. Your D has an 4.0 (uw), a rank of 9/294, SAT of 1460 in junior year, a Natl Merit Semifinalist, and has EC's that are absolutely fantastic. The school you have mentioned yourself are UVA (13000 undergraduates), Muhlenberg (2400), Swarthmore (1400) and William and Mary (5600). Your daughter is interested in perhaps majoring in Political Science, Computers, Math, Science, or Literature. She has strong interests in Spanish, poetry, drama and music. You indicated that she would prefer a smaller school and is somewhat shy. </p>

<p>I think she might not be keeping her options open by going to a LAC. Since she is that uncertain of her major, it is hard to chose a school with only 1500 to 2500 students that will have all of the facilities to cover all of her possible interests. On the other hand, a large state school might be overwhelming to her. State schools do not provide the same level of attention as private schools and she might be lost in the system.</p>

<p>You said at one point that you were focusing on larger state schools. You are also looking at LAC's. There is more choice than just between larger state schools and LAC's. There are a lot of medium size universities, and these even tend to be the most prestigious schools.</p>

<p>I would at least look at the medium size universities such as Duke (6000 undergraduates), Washington Univ. (6300), Emory (6200), Vanderbilt (6200), Tufts (4900), and Northwestern (8000). All of these school concentrate on undergraduate education and have very low faculty/student ratios. If her SAT scores improve a little, as most do between junior and senior year, she should be looking at Yale.</p>

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<p>The only thing I may disagree with dufus3709 on is about Tufts. It doesn't have the kind of music or performance program your daughter seems to want. There's the rub, more than anything - finding a college/university that has the excellent math & science program along with the performing arts. It's a balance, and unfortunately I think visits & talking to current students may be your best option.</p>