<p>Hm. This is the thread that doesn’t end – it just goes on and on my friend.</p>
<p>I vowed I’d stay away, but I’ll just say although staying home <em>can</em> work well if all parties are satisfied and happy, I see no reason to make this position a credo.</p>
<p>My kids spent so much time at our local state U during HS (only ten minutes away) that they would feel like they were still in HS if they attended. They took music lessons there, did science research there among many other things.</p>
<p>And it’s the only game in town besides CC. We have no other schools in striking distance.</p>
<p>That said, some of their friends have gone that route and are satisfied with their experience. </p>
<p>So, I think when solutions are tailored to individuals all is well. Sweeping generalizations somethings leave something to be desired.</p>
<p>Then too, state sizes differ. A Rhode Island native will never be more than, what, 50 miles from home at their flagship, whereas someone from Texas or Alaska . . . </p>
<p>My state flagship is a six hour drive away.</p>
<p>I’m with TomSr.of Boston. Different approaches are justified for different kids. I don’t think parents should force kids to stay nearby if they don’t want to and there are alternatives, but I certainly don’t think kids should be forced to choose a school that is distant just because there are some theoretical larger benefits. What is a benefit for one kid may be unnecessary stress or distraction for another.</p>
Children on come through you- not from you. They are not your property. You will pay a price and its against nature. You can pay when kids remain dependent on you- not liberating them. You want children attached to you but you must think. If you produce a child they need to be 1 step above you or whats the point. You must be 100% honest. Your children is your only committed audience. Stop parenting them- they need some good company- a friend. They dont need a bloody boss.
There are a ton of people my age (GenX) who attended college and/or accepted job transfers that took them a great distance away from their parents, then 10, 15, 20 years later they came back to their home town.
Either they’d had a couple of kids, the parents were starting to have elder care issues, there was a job loss or the cost of living got too high where they were, etc. Or the parents moved to where the kids were, if that was a more desirable (and sometimes more cost-effective) area. Let things take their own course and in due time.
I see this thread was started 5+ years ago. OP @Emily0722 , are you still on CC? What ended up happening with your S’s college choice?
Our experience was that our daughter went to a college 2000 miles away and she also did a study abroad for one semester. She had the option of staying in her home state or 3000 miles away for grad school and she chose home. When i asked her why, she told me that she made the decision on where she thought she would be happiest. Living away from home and her parents gave her the perspective to make that decision.