Bottom line on top: Should I have my S delay applying to prep school by 1 year to give him time to adjust to HS and improve his grades? (He would repeat the past year, in either case).
My S has always been a A-/B+ student. He is now a freshman and is struggling with the transition to HS; his teachers say that is typical, especially for boys. Those As and Bs are now Bs and Cs. My wife and I are actively managing this, but the school only somewhat helpful – he’s just a # and gets pushed along.
I believe he would greatly benefit from the structure, rigor, and smaller class sizes of prep school. But I feel it is somewhat a catch-22 because of his current performance, i.e. will the poor grades prevent him from getting in?
Besides grades, his teachers and other parents report that he is a great kid to have in the classroom – very social (not always a good thing), and very popular with both the boys and girls. He is comfortable in his own skin and is somewhat of a leader - not formally with the exception of sports teams. Recommendations from teachers and coaches would say this.
We would need significant FA, and he would be a hockey and lacrosse prospect. SSATs are scheduled for next weekend, but I am very scared of what those results will look like.
Any advice or insight is appreciated! Go for it now, or wait a year?
Thx
I think it completely depends on what kind of schools you are considering. Some schools will look to potential and the more selective are likely to want to see a proven track record. You will need to tell a story in an application/interview and take a chance if you want to apply now
Thanks NYer. We’re looking at schools in Western Mass and Conn, (Westminster, Choate), but have also looked at Portsmith Abbey in Rhode lsland. I don’t have a sense for the “tiering” of these schools according to exclusivity, selection of academic elites, etc. We have friends whose kids go to Trinity Pauling and I get the sense they are more open to kids who are in need of some change in order to improve performance.
yes, exactly at Trinity Pawling they take boys who need more academic support. I don’t really think you have anything to lose by applying, but have you started the applications? Its not for the faint of heart and they are due in less than two weeks. It is not as though if you wait a year they will not see his not ideal grades from this year. The worst thing that happens if you apply this year is that he doesn’t get in, maybe the consequence of rejection will motivate him a little??
I would look at schools like Williston NH, New Hampton, Tilton, South Kent, Salisbury, Avon Old Farms, Gunnery, Brewster and Vermont Academy while keeping Trinity Pawling, Westminster and Portsmouth Abbey on your list. I would remove Choate.
I also suggest looking into a Summer BS like Wolfeboro ( they do offer FA). It’s a program that’s great for kids who’ve had a bumpy year or kids who do very well in school and just want to do better. Many kids ( from every tier including schools like Andover) go to Wolfeboro for a Summer tune up ( or go because they love learning ) and BS teachers (from practically every school) teach there.
Regardless if he continues at his HS or attends BS next year- your son will definitely hit the ground running in Fall after a Summer at Wolfeboro. I picked up a nephew there once and I remember thinking- Sign me up. (It’s a beautiful spot and my nephew benefitted greatly from the program).
If you like what you see on their website, I would contact the Head ASAP. It’s a very popular program and space is limited.
You have several variables to your son’s situation - grades, maturity, athletics and FA. If you need FA and he is a serious lacrosse/hockey kid, you might consider waiting a year, have him come in as a repeat sophomore - bigger, faster and ready to play varsity. He might well be a more attractive prospect for that FA and he would have time to improve his grades and scores.
Has he been tested for leaning disabilities or attention deficit? Grades that drift lower @ freshman year might be a sign of something beyond immaturity. Testing him now won’t likely help him with this admission round - the last SSAT he can take that will likely count would be Jan 10. But if he does have a disability, the sooner it’s discovered, the better. You can then apply to his current school for accommodations which may favorably impact his grades/scores.
However, you may not be at an either/or decision point. You could just go ahead with this year’s applications, see how he does on the SSAT, see what acceptances he gets and what FA. On March 10, you will know at lot more when the acceptances, waitlists or denials come in.
If he gets into good schools now with good FA, why not send him? But if 3/10 does not turn out as well as you might have hoped, thinking ahead towards 2016 has its advantages.
NYer: good to know TP takes kids who need support. In terms of waiting a year, I was hoping to demonstrate an improvement during that time. I’m also on the fence in terms of his age and another year would make us feel better. I haven’t started the application process though I did complete the financial aid profile. I am in the thick of college applications and college financial aid for his older twin sisters, and this just adds to that chaos.
Stepping back, I wonder then from a school’s perspective, if we’re looking for aid, and his grades aren’t good, why admit a kid like this? What’s the allure for them? He IS a good hockey and lacrosse player, but we haven’t done much to get him exposure with coaches.
PhotoMom: thanks for the insights. We have visited TP, Portsmith Abbey (the 1 school who’s coach has seen him play and wants him), Westminster, and Choate. He interviewed at Portsmith Abbey and Westminster and both are encouraging him to apply. Summer BS might not be a financial option and we do cherish that family time – it would never get approved by Mom…
Does your son WANT to go boarding school? With my DS, he did and we set some criteria for him to meet before even applying. He had As in academic subjects and c+ in music and art cuz “he didn’t like the teacher. It’s boring…” We wanted him to realize that he had to give decent effort in everything. He brought those grades up to B+.
I think your son probably should learn better study skills right now to bring his grades up, not only for acceptance into more schools, but to develop good study habits for academic success. BS has structured study time but also lots more distractions. Unless it’s a system structured specifically for kids with learning differences, going to BS with poor study habits is not a great idea.
I am saying this from the experience of my DS cuz he still tends to “ignore” a course he is getting a bad grade in and “give up.” It’s challenging ton sethim straight from far away but since he has gotten himself together before, he managed to do this time on his own. If he is social and loves sports, he should want to go to BS.
Hope it can serves as an incentive for him to take schoolwork more seriously!
My DS is in a somewhat similar situation. He is the youngest boy in his 9th grade in a top private day school. His grades have dropped a great deal since middle school. He got a 91% on his SSATs and has an A in honors math. I’ve been told that the boarding schools know how hard his day school is, he has 2 Cs, 2 Bs an A and and A-. At the last minute we decided to apply to many schools and hope he gets into one so he can repeat his freshman year. He’s a 3 season athlete but not at the level to be recruited by a school. We don’t need FA. He ended up applying to a range of schools (8 of them). The process has been very tough and he is trying to finish the essays, it’s very hard for him to miss school to go on the interviews but he is doing is, this week he has 3 visits. He applied to Holdernes NMH, Groton (reach), Deerfield, Taft, Choate, L’Ville and Hotchkiss. He is not going to be able to visit each school as we started this late.
OP, if he is really struggling in his current school, would it really be wise to let him struggle there for another year? Seems like there would be benefits of moving earlier rather than later.
If you are considering TP you really should check out Salisbury and Avon. I am a huge fan of Salisbury School. If he is interested in hockey and lacrosse you can’t find better programs (or facilities) than the ones at Salisbury School. Salisbury is an incredible, supportive environment where boys have amazing role models and get a top notch education. Millbrook and Berkshire might also be a match for you son. Good luck!
I go to a relatively well known boarding school with a very large endowment and I would strongly advise AGAINST sending your kid away. It is much easier to slack off when you living away from your parents in an environment filled with distractions (friends, sex, etc). If your son struggled adjusting to high school, he will most certainly struggle adjusting to boarding school.
I agree with Musktard. Going to a boarding school requires a lot of self motivation and responsibility. Teachers at a BS aren’t going to remind you to do your homework or to do your laundry. It is up to you if you want to thrive in such a place.
When we have visited very competitive schools such as Groton and Lawrenceville and Hotchkiss they said they know how hard DS’s current school is so they consider his Bs like As. He’s never had a difficult time turning in homework, not a slacker. He just had difficulty coming home from sports practice at 8:00 PM to have 5 hours of homework, resulting in lower test scores. The schools said his current 9th grade Latin is the same as their AP Latin. His SSATs are high.
Thanks for all the info.
Update: grades at school are improving, with effort. But I received the SSAT and am challenged in interpreting. They seem pretty seem horrible to me-- 20th percentile. Looks like he answered every question (not advisable) and of course many of them were wrong.
So, how do boarding schools view a score like this? The report says to account for the fact that “SSAT test takers are members of a small and highly competitive group of students who plan to attend some of the world’s best independent schools.”
One good part about boarding school is that, since everyone has sports requirements (at most schools anyway), then everyone is “out of commission” (studying wise) during practice/game times so it is a more level playing field (no pun intended). Apologies for all the parentheses. LOL
If you choose the right school, there would be extra support available and built into the day. I don’t think Portsmouth Abbey has a formalized “help” program, but certainly bring it up with them. I can say the school is a really nice environment, and is more rigorous than you might think if you base your opinion solely on this board. The lacrosse program there is very strong and the coach is well respected. The daily schedule is fairly structured and there is required study hall each night, but the kids do need to be self-starters as well. It is easy to fall behind and hard to catch up – althought that is true of ANY good school.
