I’m a second semester freshman at a medium sized university(~5000) and I hate it. I’m an honors student and I live on an honors hall so I thought that the kids in my hall would be like the kids I took AP classes with at home. I was mistaken. I don’t really like the people that I live with that much with the exception of my roommate, who is lovely. I was incredibly homesick during my first few months of college and rather than reaching out to hallmates or fellow freshmen I was very reliant on my RA and the counseling center(which I still go to for my anxiety and adjustment issues).
I didn’t really make any friends first semester but held out hope that I’d join a sorority this semester and make a bunch of friends that way. I socialized with a lot of sisters, most of them from a specific sorority that really reached out to me and liked me. However, when I went through recruitment another sorority liked me so much they stole me from my top choice(who legitimately wanted me). I chose not to accept the bid from them, since I didn’t feel like we had clicked at all.
So now I’m stuck at this school 4 hours from home where I’m very lonely and isolated.
I tried to join a few clubs last semester(a religious one and an animal rescue club) and joined an additional one this semester (a comedy group). I also really hate living in the dorms and being reliant on the dining hall food. The dorms are always loud and I hate being in the same building as so many people. I have trouble eating healthy in the dining halls and as a result my health has seriously declined since I came here.
Basically, I want to transfer home to be a commuter at a university of equal academic prestige closer to home. My parents oppose this idea and think that I should try harder to make friends here. They think that if I come home and become a commuter I’m missing out on a social experience that could be great. I don’t see things changing here drastically. I’d rather be at home with no friends than here with no friends. It would be a bummer that I wouldn’t get exactly the sorority experience I dreamt of while I was in high school but nothing has turned out like I thought it would here.
Am I crazy to think that I’d be better off (health wise and financially) if I transferred? On the other side, are there any ways I can make friends here to survive if I’m not allowed to transfer?
I am a parent of a second semester Daughter at a school in NJ and feel that my Daughter has a similar situation . Although she was NOT chosen for a sorority that she wanted EVERY ONE of her dorm mates were accepted and she is still struggling to find her way. I don’t have an answer for you but I certainly think if your RA can’t help then you need to find a confidential counselor on campus. My wife and I both recommend to my Daughter the same steps as I just told you. The college life when it comes to acceptance appears to be VERY difficult and I am hoping that you , my Daughter and every other kid that feels as you do can find the way to happiness.
Definitely continue to see a counselor.
Explore what your expectations of friendship are, how to make friends, etc.
Explore the stages of grief and culture shock.
Sometimes … may not be true in your case … depression makes life feel grey and joyless no matter what you do.
Make a list of everything you are grateful for in your life and meditate on it daily.
Definitely continue posting here if it helps …
@reluctantprep - are you an introvert?