My son is having rough time at Umass. Huge stress level is common thing for him. He is already thinking about quiting or transfering to somewhere else. He is freshman at chem eng major. He is going to teachers after every class and still having tough time to passing tests. What else can he do before I take him home. I am affraid something bad can happen under these amounts of stress. Any suggestions? Thanks.
So nobody have any advice for struggling kid?
Has your son visited the counseling center? At orientation, I remember Health Services mentioned that they have several clinicians that specialize in adolescent mental health. Could he switch majors or withdraw from a course to take the pressure off?
Thanks @foobar1, yes he spoke to nursing (I think) lady and she recomended to try take it easy and make appointment with counseling center. He feels a little better, but still down. We are talking with him every day, but is hard to suggest something if you are not familiar with the school. Thanks for advice. Anything helps.
How many classes is he taking? And what is his non-academic life like? Both things are a huge factor in stress levels. I’ve heard mixed things about counseling services at UMass, but I’ve found that some of the student leaders (like RAs or the peer mentors) are always willing to listen.
Chem Eng is a difficult major here (it’s rumored to be the toughest of the engineering majors). For the hard STEM majors, having study/homework buddies is a necessity to doing well in the classes. Academic changes to schedules can’t really be done now (W-Drop was last week), but reassure him that it’s not the end of the world if he’s struggling with a class or two. There’s always the option to retake them and keep the better grade. And besides, I’ve heard that the average GPA for Engineering/CS majors is just below a 3.0, which means that a lot of people struggle. He isn’t alone.
Can he drop a class, or is it too late? Is there tutoring offered through the department? I have heard students say they are “too busy” to go when tutoring is offered, but it can be a huge help. Can he find anyone to be in a study group with?
I think they have tutoring at the library but its not in all classes. He should check the schedule to see if anything can help. He should also try to buddy up with some kids who are not struggling as bad as they can sometimes give him a trick or two on how to get through certain questions. Sometimes all you need is a that little connection and then a lot of things fall into place. He is obviously smart as its difficult to get into his major so he probably needs a little confidence builder. And as Violet mentioned even if you fail a class there is always the option to retake it and keep the better grade. Maybe taking an easy gen ed over the winter break or the summer can alleviate some pressure to get a certain amount of credits in. I feel for him. Hope you can help him.
So sorry to hear that your son is so sad and struggling like he is. It is so hard when they call in tears and/or frustration and you as parents spend all of your time worrying about them.
He might want to set appointments with his teachers during office hours and have a discussion about how he can improve. He might also ask about grading and whether or not the teacher grades on a curve. This was a big lesson for my daughter who is studying engineering too. She was really upset for her first quarter about being graded on a curve (which I have since learned from some engineers who post on this site that curving grades is bit of a cultural norm in engineering school). When she left two different final exams a couple weeks ago, she was extremely upset and a bit angry because she thought she had flunked them and annihilated her grades going in. When she got her final grades they were fine, and she learned a big lesson that the curve can be a benefit. The point I am trying to make is that you son may not be doing as poorly as he thinks he is once those curves are applied. Facing lower than A grades is a hard fact for kids who are used to doing really well.
He still has time to dig into any tutoring services, study groups, and keep the knowledge that he can retake anything that he fails or feels he wants to improve. He does not have to be a straight A or even straight B student to be a good engineer.
Study groups are big. S is a senior chem engineering major there and from freshman year onward, he’s had his chem eng friends, and his social friends (of course, some belong to both groups!)
At least he is a senior/upperclassmen already, a little bit more and he should be all set.
Halcyon77, I’m not the OP–my son, the senior, is not the struggling freshman this thread is discussing.
The UMASS Amherst dean of advising for engineering is a very supportive person and can work with him on determining where to go with current situation. Chemical engineering is arguably the hardest engineering major. I have heard rumors mentors can be appointed or there could be help from dept finding upper classmen to help freshmen… The advising dean would know what is offered and can advise…
Sorry to hear your son is having a hard time. My son did too his first year and he was a Chem eng major as well. It was very scary time for us because he was so distressed and anxious.He ended up changing majors which dropped his course load. He actually realized Chem wasn’t for him. He also got help through counseling. He first talked with an advisor and then went to counseling services and found someone to talk to. He joined study groups and that really helped. Reaching out to people really helped him but it’s hard when they are feeling not themselves and not sleeping well to reach out. Encourage your son to talk with friends, talk to teachers, talk to tutoring and counseling services. Also make sure he is taking care of basic needs like sleeping, eating 3 squares and exercise.
Help is there for him.
Update: son droped one class, changed a major to just chemistry instead of chem engineering and finished this term with GPA 3.477. First month was really rough, but after consultation with counseling services and proffesors-he was fine, learned how to study and study with someone from his class, stay late with a teacher to discuss what was not clear during class. Even late as 11:30pm. Teachers are awsome here if they can do that! He is happy now and glad he survived that first semester. Now next on spring semester. Thanks everyone who had good advise and help. Happy New Year!
MHMdad—glad to hear things turned around—3.477 for first semester of college is very respectable, especially in the sciences. Hope the next semester goes well for your son.