<p>^</p>
<p>Start stocking up on the tissues and booze now, your’re going to need it.</p>
<p>My only daughter is going into Junior year, and it does get better, I promise. Sorry to say there is no way around the sadness of them leaving initially but time. :(</p>
<p>Sorry to say, it doesn’t get easier. Set up DD’s permanent grown-up apartment for her in NYC. She plans to stay for the long haul – law school, and then a job. I don’t expect her home for extended breaks. Sniff, sniff.</p>
<p>And DS is going to be a graduating senior. He worked all summer at the Clark Museum and earned enough to pay his room and board. We visited the exhibit he worked at yesterday and they asked him back for next summer. So… don’t think he’s coming home again either. </p>
<p>On the up side they told me what a wonderful worker he is.</p>
<p>^Keep reminding yourself, you don’t WANT them to come back home. It is GOOD when they get a job and keep it. :)</p>
<p>amm2009 - some people have recommended the book “Letting Go”:</p>
<p>[Amazon.com:</a> Letting Go (Fifth Edition): A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years (9780061665738): Karen Levin Coburn, Madge Lawrence Treeger: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-Fifth-Parents-Understanding/dp/0061665738/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1283346021&sr=8-1]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-Fifth-Parents-Understanding/dp/0061665738/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1283346021&sr=8-1)</p>
<p>It might be worth taking a look at.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>If you’ve done the parenting gig right, you’ve worked yourself out of a job. Pat yourself on the back if they are not back in your basement at age 25.</p>
<p>Meh, I agree with earlier posts that some of these ceremonies are really offensive (administrator’s back to parents, etc.) Hearing stories from my parents, educators do sometimes have disdain for parents’ involvement - this isn’t to say it isn’t unjustified all the time, because I’m sure helicopter parents give them a bad taste in their mouth, but some parents aren’t like that and it isn’t a one size shoe fits all situation.</p>
<p>My parents helped me unpack, even took me out to lunch. A couple days later it was an “off day” and they took me out to lunch one more time. Then, I didn’t see them until 2 days for Thanksgiving and then not until winter break. For the first week I emailed them every day, but after that calls dwindled to once a week to sometimes less (and e-mails stopped entirely). </p>
<p>A little lingering isn’t horrible, as long as it’s not overly intrusive (going to your child’s classes, etc.) Quite frankly I don’t think MOST parents are overly instrusive, though most do tend to linger. There’s nothing harmful about an extra dinner or something like that. I had all year to meet people, make friends, etc. And feeling lonely and sad on the first couple days, it was a good “recharger” to see my family for an hour.</p>
<p>Dropped our D off at Hamilton and the school was pretty low key about parting, but structured move in day so there was a definite end. Move in started at 8:30 and then the administration’s welcome at 1p. There was a reception in the afternoon and places set up in the Student Center to open a bank account, learn about campus employment or tuition billing, etc. At 4p, the students went to their orientation and parents were invited to a separate orientation and everyone was strongly urged to say good bye by 4. The parent orientation covered all sorts of What To Expect topics, but the presenter mentioned a couple of times that the best thing we could do after the session was to drive down the Hill; he joked that lingering behind bushes to catch one more glimpse was probably a bad idea. Throughout the day the school made us feel like they made the right choice in admitting our child and that our child made the right choice in attending. And that the school was a safe place where they would learn and grow. The school had a definite objective concerning parents for the day, but they kept it low key and low stress and from talking to other parents, it was pretty successful.</p>
<p>Took my only son off to college two weeks ago. I thought it would be harder than it was, but we both loved his school and he quite frankly couldn’t wait to get rid of me. I cried some, not in front of him, on Friday night before move in on Saturday, but the actual weekend went very well. The school made me feel so great about leaving him that I actually felt much better on Sunday after convocation when we hit the road. It’s been almost two weeks, and I have had one mandatory 3 minute call, and a few text messages started by me. He has been a very independent person for a few years now. I miss him, but I would only be sad if he was still at home.</p>
<p>Getting ready to do the drop off in 2 weeks and thought I would pick up some pointers here. So i drive slowly and push the luggage out first, then boot the child/S/D out, and watch if child/S/D gets up. Oops, forgot, buy the big screen TV first… </p>
<p>I was hoping for an elaborate orientation program, probably due to the high cost of tuition and the claim that students love it there in spite of the school’s remote location. I am sure I will be asked to give above and beyond the tuition. We were solicited by D1’s school after her first year and first $50k. But really, a buffet lunch with your S, a talk by the President, and then an exhibit hall in the gym for 2 hours before they show you the door? I hope I will get to meet some profs or department heads…oops my velcro is showing.</p>
<p>hey what’s with the yeedong spam</p>
<p>@Magnum PI</p>
<p>No… you buy the TV after you’ve dropped 'em off…</p>
<p>If you wait til they’re gone it means they don’t get suspicious when you start measuring the wall and checking the wall supports to see just how big a plasma screen you can get on the wall.</p>
<p>Heck, their rooms are disaster areas and cannot fit a big screen. Question, when do they ever want to take down the old posters, or throw anything from their childhood away…, or is that a question for the parents?</p>
<p>Thanks Dadinator and all who gave me ideas and support. Shall read the book soon. Meanwhile, we are busy filling the NMSF forms and “thinking about writing the college application essays”. Make hay while the sun shines, I guess!I am cherishing every minute of my son being at home with us.</p>
<p>After dropping off our 4th & youngest child last week, I have to say everything went very smoothly & we left at 6:00 PM as the Orientation schedule suggested. </p>
<p>Then H came home this week & said a co-worker & his wife were not speaking as the husband made the wife leave BU at the appropriate time. Evidently wife wanted to hang out with the kid & other freshmen at an athletic field. (where parents weren’t invited) It really made me laugh, what was she going to do, go to classes with her child & stay in a nearby hotel or something? I assume this couple are now speaking to each other! “Too much information” as I told my H, but co-worker probably thought H was a good listener after bringing 4 Freshmen Children to college over the past 7 years!</p>
<p>Magnum PI–that’s easy…you take down the posters when you need the wall space for the big screen TV!</p>
<p>Seriously, I wouldn’t change anything in my kid’s room until they were home for the summer and I could ask if they might like to go through their stuff and pitch some or move it to attic or closet storage. And when it becomes apparent they won’t be home for any more summers, then I would begin to take over their room. (That’s what we’ve done in the past, anyway…)</p>
<p>I loved the movie Toy Story 3 but winced when Andy & his mom were totally clearing out his room like he was leaving for good freshman year!</p>
<p>SLUMOM–sounds like that mom had a good relationship with her son & his HS friends, and was looking to continue the pattern! <em>Boundaries</em> ;)</p>
<p>We’ve been given the green light to re-do the daughter’s room. As long as she has a bed and her dresser drawers to come home to, she is good. I guess because her plans currently include med school down the line, and various other summer commitments which will keep her away from home, she realizes that her time at home will be very limited. Our oldest is at a service academy, with very limited travel-home opportunities, so I am still grateful that our daughter will be home for the traditional breaks and a few extra weekends here and there. She’ll always have a place to lay her head…even if the room itself bears little resemblance to her childhood digs.</p>
<p>I think that these days, as so many parents have invested sooo much in their kids’ education, especially those of us who’ve kicked down for private education, that the investment of time, patience, money, etc., has been huge, much more than our parents’ generation, that when the day comes, it’s just almost overwhelming. If everyone could just take it down a notch, from college counselors, to the colleges themselves, parents too-then everyone could enjoy the process more. The financial stress associated with college these days is overwhelming as well. Nothing in our lifetimes, except our homes-maybe, will cost as much as educating our children. We can’t turn the clock back to the heyday of college admissions, great post-college jobs, traveling after college, or God forbid, opting out of college for a working/traveling career. I think the baby boomer generation has sucked up all the air on this issue and created a very hectic life experience for their own children-myself included. If i can get through this…</p>
<p>@Magnum PI</p>
<p>Is it a question for the parents??
Who owns this house anyway?
When D turned up all those years ago I lost my ‘space’, my office, which became a bedroom.</p>
<p>You think I’m paying for college accommodation AND preserving a dedicated bedroom space at home too?
I’ve waited almost 20 years for my revenge!
Posters, junk, stuffed animals…OUT
Plasma screen, leather sofas, beer fridge…IN</p>
<p>Time to grow up D!..
The Big Wide World just waiting for you!..OUT OUT OUT!!!
(and S…you pay attention…your bedroom is being converted into something useful the minute you leave too)</p>
<p>LaContra for President! Opressed parents unite! We could have a tuition strike, no tuition payments until they clean out their rooms… </p>
<p>I must be a wimp, I miss them so much I stop by their empty rooms, look around and try to imagine what they are doing that moment, so far away (5,000 miles and 6 time zones for us).</p>
<p>I don’t find this surprising, as a high school student I kinda want my parents to leave as soon as possible after I move in college. It may sound sad but people can communicate through phone or whatnot nearly everyday! Why do you want to stay on campus with your child for so long?</p>