<p>J. called me from the train station in Vienna earlier today; he was about to get on a night train to Budapest, where he’ll be spending the next five days or so during a break in his term.</p>
<p>And just called me again, from his hotel in Budapest, while I was typing this. His first impression is that Budapest is a little more lively and colorful than Vienna – more street life, similar 19th century imperial architecture but a little seedier and more down at the heels; on the whole, more second world than first world, and more vibrant. Not that he’s bored with Vienna, but I think he needs a break. I think it’ll be easier for him once all the rest of the kids in his program show up and the regular classes start. He didn’t seem to click with any of the few other U of Chicago kids who signed up for the pre-session; nobody really shared his interest in exploring the city and spending a lot of time in museums,* so he did most of it alone and, as much as he loved it, was a bit lonely at times. (He said he kept seeing things that he wished I had been there to see with him.) Although he did make friends with some other international students, one from Montreal (who went with him to the zoo, which he liked), one from Sweden, and one from Ecuador. He called or skyped with me several times a week, sometimes for an hour or more at a time, and as much as I loved it, I’m realistic enough to know that that’s less likely to happen when he’s spending most of his free time with friends. </p>
<p>But who would have thought, just a few years ago, that he’d be doing something like this all on his own? It isn’t <em>that</em> many years since he was still phobic about crossing the street by himself (after having twice been hit by cars and sent flying when he was 11 or 12 because he was daydreaming and wasn’t watching for cars turning into 4-way intersections. I still get upset when I think what could have happened if he’d landed on his head, or otherwise unfortunately). </p>
<p>And even in Vienna, he says he gets stopped by elderly people all the time who point to his feet and tell him he needs to tie his shoelaces! (By the way, he hasn’t found the Viennese, even older ones, to be at all sour or unfriendly in general. He gets in conversations all the time. He’s gotten some interesting reactions when he’s told people that he’s partly German Jewish, and that his grandmother came from Berlin. Including one guy he went out with who told him that his great-uncle was a guard at Auschwitz. Awkward, to say the least. I guess that’s only to be expected in Germany and Austria, though.)</p>
<p>I’m sure Budapest will be fascinating for him. Starting with his taking a night train there (on which he met some students who shared some wine with him), it all seems rather exotic and evocative, like a novel by Alan Furst or Eric Ambler, or an old black and white espionage film. (I think I did mention that where he live in Vienna, the ferris wheel from the old Orson Welles movie “The Third Man” is still standing, and is directly across the street!) </p>
<p>He’s been studying his Budapest guidebook, and there are certainly lots of things to see. In the nearly three weeks he’s been in Vienna, he’s done an amazing amount of stuff and I think has already seen almost every museum and palace. Yesterday, we spent a long time skyping about his visit to the Imperial Treasury, and all the interesting things he learned. Apparently, it’s a whole lot easier to see the crown jewels of the Holy Roman Empire – including a crown dating back to the 11th century – than to see the crown jewels in London, where we basically stood on a conveyer belt and got carried past them! </p>
<p>While he’s in Budapest, he’s going to make an effort to try to get together with my older sister (and only sibling), whom he hasn’t seen – I haven’t either – since he was 5 years old, 15 years ago. He remembers her quite well, even though that’s the only time he met her. (She moved to Europe in 1980 or so.) She’s a widow (her husband was Hungarian), pretty much a recluse – doesn’t drive, doesn’t have a computer, has never had a job, hardly goes out in the daytime – and lives in a cottage, in an old village in the woods about an hour’s bus ride from Budapest but about a century away in terms of how people live. She told him that it can’t be a long visit. (It sounds a bit too much like an old Hammer movie for my liking, but I’m sure he’ll be fine, so long as the bus driver doesn’t refuse to enter the village and start crossing himself! Seriously, I do hope he doesn’t have a problem finding a bus schedule, or getting back to the city at night.)</p>
<p>He mentioned that when he spoke to my sister, she did use my correct name but referred to me with the wrong pronouns 100% of the time. Even after more than five years, no matter how much I’ve tried to explain things to her, sent her reading materials, and even sent her things I’ve written here and elsewhere so she can understand me a little better, she still doesn’t make an effort, at all, and has never even indicated that she’s looked at anything I’ve sent her, except to comment that I looked terrible in a photo I sent her. </p>
<p>All of which upsets me a lot, to be honest, and is part of the reason that I haven’t been writing to her nearly as much as I used to. J. says he’ll try to get through to her when he sees her, to explain why it bothers me so much to be continually mis-gendered like that.</p>
<p>Anyway, I’m so happy for him. He agreed with me tonight that this is quite an adventure he’s on this fall.</p>
<p>The only drawback is that he wasn’t feeling too well for a few days – exhaustion, allergies (you can’t buy bendaryl or sudafed in Austria without a prescription), and, I suspect, not enough sleep or food. When he told me the other day that all he’d eaten that day was grapes and grapefruit juice (what a lovely, appetizing combination!), and had thrown up, I was ready to get on the next plane. But he made himself a little pasta while I was on the phone, and felt a little better, so I was somewhat relieved. The program coordinator took him to a doctor this morning, and he got some prescriptions, so I’m even more relieved. I’m happy to know that the students in the program do get taken care of that way.</p>
<p>By the way, to tie in with another thread, he stopped smoking when he started not feeling well, and hasn’t started again yet. Of course, I strongly suggested that he might want to consider not starting smoking again at all, and told him that I had exponentially more colds and allergies and respiratory symptoms during the years I smoked, than since I stopped.</p>
<p>Donna</p>
<ul>
<li>In case any of their parents are on here, I won’t say what those kids did seem to be interested in. Not that there’s anything wrong with what they were doing, of course!</li>
</ul>