Summer Business Program Essay

<p>I am applying to a summer business program. The essay is 600 words max. and the general idea of the essay is supposed to be about what got you interested in business and what are your future plans. I wrote a rough draft and looked over it, but I would appreciate it if somebody else could take a quick look at it. BTW it is about 530 words. </p>

<p>I first became interested in business when I began my first job. I started caddying at a local golf club when I was 14 as a way to earn some extra money. The fact that I had to work to earn my money as opposed to asking my parents, made me become more careful with how it was used. I kept track of which days I worked and how much I earned each day. I also made a list of each purchase I made during the summer. Now that I was a member of the working-force, I began to better understand the inner-workings of business. To earn enough money to buy the things I wanted, I had to work hard and please the player I caddied for. That summer I learned about sacrifice and reward. When my friends were inside playing video games, I was lugging a 30 pound bag around a golf course. While my peers may have had more fun over those few months, I ended the summer with enough money to have fun throughout the long winter months.
Although I started working in the 8th grade, it wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I became interested in the field of finance. I signed up for Personal Finance class mostly because of the recommendation of a friend. When I signed up for the class, I didn’t have much interest in finance, but I wanted to make sure that I knew how to manage my money. To my surprise, I was hooked from the first day of class. I was able to soak up the information easily and I became interested in all aspects of finance. Whenever the teacher would offer the class free copies of The Wall Street Journal, my hand was always the first in the air. I also became an avid reader of the business section of the local newspaper. I now have a good idea of where to place my money so that it will accrue the greatest amount of interest possible. I also plan to begin investing in the stock market once I turn 18 years old. I have gained a great deal of knowledge about finance, and I would like to turn it into a career.
My current plan for the next few years begins with attending college and majoring in finance with a minor in economics. I plan on focusing my finance degree on personal wealth management. My choice of a minor is based on the economics class in which I am currently enrolled. I enjoy the different style of thinking that is addressed when speaking about economics in the world. My goal is to graduate and start a career as a personal financial advisor. I would like to pass along my knowledge of finance with others so that they can reach their financial goals. Not only will a finance degree help me get a job, it will also give me the necessary tolls to handle my income correctly so that I can make the most out of my earnings. The past year has been great for my education in business and I would like to continue to learn more so that I can reach my full potential.</p>

<p>Fix your hook. I didn’t read the entire thing solely because of the bland “grabber”. Sorry, not trying to be mean, but you have to draw in your audience! Also, what program is this for?</p>