WANTED: comments on my georgetown supplement essay! will read others' essays

<p>hey guys... I just finished my essay for Georgetown's prompt "Briefly describe the factors that have influenced your interest in studying business". It's quite long (the essay's supposed ta be about one page) at 652 words but I'd really appreciate it if someone would critique and comment! I'll edit anyone else's, just PM me (: thanks!</p>

<p>I can, I’m not applying there</p>