<p>what do kids usually do the summer after their freshman year?</p>
<p>i go to barnard in new york city, and it seems that LOTS of people stay here over the summer. they have internships in the city, they work as RAs for the summer high school programs, they work on the upcoming fall orientation, they hang out in the city, etc. and i cant really imagine why anyone would want to leave. i'm applying for several (unpaid) internships and i plan to keep my current job at a bookstore through the summer.</p>
<p>the trouble is, my mother thinks the idea of me staying in new york this summer is ludicrous. i just won a pretty big grant that would pay for my housing and all expenses over the summer, plus i'd have my job, so my parents wouldn't be paying for anything. i feel like i need to do <em>something</em> this summer in order to stay competitive, and my home life is not very good. i'm dreading going back.</p>
<p>is my idea really that far-out for a college freshman? what can i tell my mom so she feels a little better about it?</p>
<p>it sounds like you have a plan, but if what you have posted hasn't swayed your mother, I don't know what would
perhaps if you identify a time when you could come back to visit?
It is hard for parents to have their kids got to college and not come back- but I understand your points as well</p>
<p>As long as finances and housing are not an issue, staying in the city for the summer is a wonderful idea. It is an exciting place, and has a certain underlying festivity in summer becasue people are away. Also, an internship will be good for your resume, so you are building for the future. And recreation is not a problem either--think of the following as just some of the things you can do in your free time:</p>
<p>--beaches on weekends (some really nice ones at the Jersey Shore are accessible via NJ Transit Jersey Coast line)
--day trips by train or boat up the Hudson or out to Long Island
--concerts in Central Park and other city parks
--theater and other tickets from the TKTS booth
--Lincoln Center
--all sorts of cultural attractions and parks.</p>
<p>Keep in mind too that although NYC can be hot and sticky in summer, it is not always tht way and you can have many beautiful days of sunshine nad low himidity.</p>
<p>Basically I think your idea is fine, and I say that as a parent who daughter has worked away from home every summer for the last three years--of coure we miss her. But she is doing what she wants to do and we see her when we can. Good luck both with your plans and with your mother.</p>
<p>my freshman son has an internship offer in NYC this summer that would involve staying in a Columbia dorm. He's very excited about it, and we think it's a great opportunity. We're planning to go there to help him move, and he'll probably have a week or two to come home at the end of the summer. That's probably plenty. If he was around home for 3 months he'd be bored witless. Maybe if you reassure your mom that she will still see you this summer, she'll be more supportive.</p>
<p>trust me, i know all the city has to offer :) my parents live just outside dc though, so my mom's response is usually "there's nothing you can do in new york that you cant do here."
but i'll try reminding her again about all the wonderful things about living in new york, and maybe scheduling a few visits home. both my parents left home when they were 17 or 18, so i'm wondering if this is a bit of a reaction against that in me.<br>
texas, your son is lucky that his mom is so excited for him!</p>
<p>It's been my experience that freshman and usually sophomore summers are spent at home connecting with friends and luxuriating in the nest; junior and beyond are spent truly leaving the nest.</p>
<p>While your mom says there isn't anything in NYC that you can't do at home...you might respond that you already have an internship and job there that you like, and since housing or anything else is not an expense and you are not only earning money but also experience for your resume, that those issues are taken care of. You can acknowledge her preference of having you home in summers but that for your college years, these are the experiences you want to have and that's what this time is about and as long as you are not COSTING them money to do it, you'd like to have this chance. You can try to arranage to go home for a week at the beginning or end of summer break or something like that. </p>
<p>I realize all parents feel differently and you have to deal with your situation. My own take is that I want my kids to do what they want in their summers of college, as long as I don't have to pay for it. I don't expect them to be home and they won't be. They were not home in summers growing up. The most time they ever spent home in summers was the summer prior to college because we wanted them to work, earn money, and be here a little before leaving home. Now as much as I would like to see them, there are summer things I also want them to experience so I encourage these pursuits. </p>
<p>The kinds of things you are planning not only make sense to me, but are common for college aged kids. Perhaps you can explain to your mom what the majority of kids from your school are doing in the summer. I have two daughters in college. One is a soph and she is in the middle of a process of trying to get a job in France for the summer. She also is going to go abroad next fall. I suspect when all is said and done, she might only be home a week or two (things are not finalized yet). My freshman daughter is looking to be cast in professional summer stock theater ANYWHERE in the country. Who knows if she will be and where and that could mean most of her summer as well. As long as they get to stop home before or after these experiences, it is fine with me. I don't expect them to come home for summer because there are experiences they not only want to have, but need to have, at this time of their lives. I can't pay for summer experiences but as long as they either pay for them themselves, earn money, or whatever, then I have no problem with it. </p>
<p>Perhaps you can talk to your mom about how you envision your summers while in college....plans you see, some long term goals. I knew a general idea what my kids wanted to do for all their college summers (I have D's who have long range goal type planning!) and so none of this is a surprise. I think once you go over that and this is that time in your life for independent adventures, internships, etc. and that you will build in times to come home, and then work that out. It is not as if you are asking for money to do this plan. It sounds to me that you have worked it out well on your own. It may not be what SHE would have chosen for you to do, and you can acknowledge that, but still say this is what YOU want to do. And if she wants you to come home for a short bit, figure a way to do that but not give in on a summer at home. You can also explain that this is the one stage in your life when you can do these things before being tied to a year round job or things like that. Again, key her in on what the "norm" is for your peers from college. Also bring up the importance of the internship to your other goals.</p>
<p>Spent my summer after freshman year in Washington, DC!!!! Not crazy at all. Especially that I was doing my dream internship at the Holocaust Museum.</p>
<p>My mom was rather sad that I didn't come home very much but she managed to fit in a weekend to come down and to visit me. But at the same time, I was transferring to a school much closer to home so that eased her anxiety. For her, she used to come home every summer just to work at the local grocery store (also had a boyfriend in town). So she didn't automatically become a parent with that kind of mindset- oh it won't bother me that my kid's not going to come home for the summer... </p>
<p>Just really play up your opportunities. True, both DC and NYC are just cities but I've visited NYC often enough to know that there are distinctive differences between the two. For one, NYC is at least five times bigger than DC. DC is more about interns who are into the Hill and politics. NYC has a wider variety of interns- those in the arts, in the finance, on the Wall Street, fashion, etc. You will definitely meet a much broader range of interns in NYC- I got rather sick of meeting interns who were only in the government and embassies pretty fast because that's all the events for interns are about. Additionally, DC is more centered on American history whereas New York City has a stronger, prouder history of its own in its culture scene (you just feel it). </p>
<p>In other words, if your mother doesn't see the differences and wants you to learn as much as possible, then tell her that New York City is far more things to offer that isn't centered around national American history and government. Also, DC is only 3 hours on the train from NYC- big deal, go down for a weekend.</p>
<p>soozie, thanks for your thorough advice - i think i really do just need to sit down with my mom and tell her my plans exactly, especially since i have college pretty much all mapped out. i was anticipating a negative reaction which is why i kind of hid it from my parents that i've been planning to stay in new york this summer, and that made me seem like i didnt care about their input and i just wanted to escape from them. which is kinda true.</p>
<p>and ticklemepink, thanks for your firsthand experience! i think it might be easier for me to find an internship (nonpolitical) in dc than in new york because i had one in high school through which i have a lot of connections. but, dc just isnt new york, like you said. i'll try spelling out the differences more for my mom. the few times my parents have visited me here, they've preferred to stay in the theatre district and barnard's neighborhood, which are both great places but there's way more to nyc than what they think.
i cant afford the train so i take a bus when i go back to dc, which takes 6 hours total, but yes maybe more visits home would be good. i dont like going home because i feel like i'm missing out on so much in new york, maybe i will try to get my parents up here more.</p>
<p>thanks for all the advice, i'll see how it goes whem i'm honest with my mom about my plans.</p>
<p>Do your parents know how unusual it is for a freshman to be so organized and show so much initiative? I think you should lay out for them why and how you got the grant, the details of the internship you're looking for and how it fits in with your overall plans. It wouldn't hurt to say that you know you'll miss being home and miss them and that you'll make plans to see them at several points during the summer...but that these are opportunities too good to pass up. They may think, since you didn't tell them earlier, that you are looking for any excuse not to come home. It is true that first summer, most students do go home, if only to re-connect with high school friends, and so they may wonder what they did to make their kid want to stay in NYC instead. </p>
<p>My son's a sophomore at Columbia and is desperately trying to put together a plan to stay in NYC for the summer. That's where a lot of his friends will be, so we're trying not to take it too hard. :) Our stipulation is he must make enough money to pay for housing. Sound's as if you're way ahead of the curve!</p>
<p>Texas137 -- I'd love to know what your son be doing at Columbia this summer. (Besides ballroom dancing, I assume.)</p>
<p>Waht do MOST kids do the summer after their freshman year? Well....most kids go home and work. However, it sounds like you have opportunity that would still earn you an income, and won't cost you housing. Perhaps there is some way to make plans to come home for some weekends, or prior to your summer job beginning..and maybe at the end of the summer too. My guess is that your parents were looking forward to having you at home...so try to work something out that will show them you are trying to include THAT in your summer also.</p>
<p>You parents miss you and want to see you. They love you. They are probably paying someof your way through college even if you can pay for the summer. How about a compromise? You take your internship in the city, but spend time at home right afer school gets out and again at the end of the summer. Also, invite your family to NY to see you and plansome fun things yo can do together on the weekend. Yes, they will be in a hotel, but it's only for a few nights. Maybe your family life isn't the greatest, but obviously your family wants to see you and has loved nad supported you for many years. I bet if they don't feel you are just ditching them for the summer they will go along with you being in NY most of the summer.</p>
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[quote]
Texas137 -- I'd love to know what your son be doing at Columbia this summer. (Besides ballroom dancing, I assume.)
[/quote]
Hi Sac! Son won't be working at Columbia. He has been offered an internship with a financial firm in Midtown. Assuming he takes it, the company has arranged for their interns to stay in the Columbia dorms. If your son lines up something too, maybe they'll bump into each other.</p>