<p>Je ne sais quoi-- one of the best gifts parents can give their children is the knowledge that you aren’t going to show up on their doorstep in twenty years homeless and needing nursing care (provided by them) since you’ve run through all your assets.</p>
<p>Don’t look back. What you did or did not do is moot. Lay your cards on the table in terms of what you can afford going forward, assure your D that you will always love and be proud of her, and now the family is going to focus on helping her get to college and stay in college.</p>
<p>Don’t shoot yourself in the foot with the guilt. Do you want her to decide to graduate HS and get a job folding sweaters at the Gap instead? Teenagers are masters of magical thinking-- but now you are going to have a real, adult conversation. “Honey, this is what we can afford. Let’s figure out how to get you a college education given those limitations.”</p>