Take a quick second to grade my essay? =]

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1

<p>
[quote]
Technological advances have freed society from tiresome labor, such as washing clothes by hand, hauling heavy loads, and walking long distances, and have given people increased access to information and entertainment. Yet, when given a choice, many people still resist using modern conveniences. There must be something to be gained from not using technology. </p>

<p>Are there benefits to be gained from avoiding the use of modern technology, even when using it would make life easier?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Many conservatives warn against using technology in fear of growing an unbreakable reliance on it. However, utilizing technology allows people to achieve goals which were once thought to be mere dreams. Without technology, society would not be capable of reaching the zenith of success that has been reached time and time again with the help of technology This is evidenced by Henry Ford's assembly line, Global Positioning Systems (GPS), and graphing calculators.</p>

<p>Henry Ford's assembly line was extremely beneficial in saving production time. It allowed many more automobile parts to be put together in a shorter amount of time. And since time is money, Ford was essentially saving himself money while bringing in even more profit. This incredible marvel of technology proves just what is to be gained from the utilization of technology.</p>

<p>Anyone that has ever been lost while driving knows how frustrating it can be to have no idea where he is going. Even using a map is an unnecessary hassle. Global Positioning Systems (GPS) allow data to be sent from one's location to satellites which then read one's coordinates and locate. Using this technology, heaves of frustration and time is significantly reduced. In addition, GPS technology allows one to find what he is looking for with ease. As a result, GPS has proven to be an extremely popular technology in modern society. Society is slowly starting to witness what technology has to offer.</p>

<p>Just as Henry Ford's assmebly line and GPS systems help save time, graphing calculators offer the same benefits. These calculators are designed to not only save time, but also to save paper which would otherwise been used to unnecessarily (and less accurately) graph on. Graphing calculator technology is an error-reducing, time-saving, paper-hating feat of genius technology.</p>

<p>One can see through the use of Henry Ford's assembly line, GPS systems, and graphing calculators that technology is an important part of modern society. Technology such as these has opened up the doors to dreams once deemed impossible. Society must continue to utilize such technology to aid and enhance everyday life.</p>

<p>Grade/comments please, be as harsh as you want.</p>

2

<p>"Technology such as these" sounds really wrong...maybe something more like "Technologial advances such as these"</p>

<p>I'm not too sure about grading, but it seems like something I would probably write myself, putting it between the 8-9 range.</p>

3

<p>Yeah. I can't believe I wrote that part o_O</p>

4

<p>Anyone? =(</p>

5

<p>Bump .</p>

6

<p>Good intro, 3 Specific BP's and a conclusion that ties back to the assignment. I would probably give this about a 9-10</p>

7

<p>i think the examples are a bit weak i'd give it 4-5. if you are taking the test tomorrow it might be too late but one way to get an easy 10, if not 11 or 12, (in my opinion) is to do what i do, which is go 5 paragraphs and use 2 strong literary examples (it helps if yr in ap english cuz u can use gatsby, scarlet letter, catcher in the rye) as well as a BARACK OBAMA EXAMPLE. sers you can defend almost any viewpoint with barack obama. ppl know so little about him they wont know you cooked up a story!</p>

8

<p>another thought - instead of saying one can say one sees. mb try not to use too many cans or may, just be direct and use more verbs.</p>