I’ve been thinking and hooked on the idea of study abroad for about a year now, even though I’m the definition of a homebody. For some reason I had full confidence that I could study abroad. Now, I’m leaving in 3 weeks and the anxiety is starting to set in. I am terrified, I keep thinking “I don’t want to do this at all.” Deep down, I think I do want to go, but I can’t help thinking of everything I’m worried about. It’s finally set that i’ll be gone for 3 whole months from my family. I like routine, planning, and not change. I do have anxiety. It’s like i’m getting anxious about how Im going to be anxious when i’m there. Im anticipating how homesick and anxious Im going to be while adjusting. Im just worried that my anxiety and homesickness is going to get out of control. Im also extremely overwhelmed by all of the preparation I have to do.
This is NOT something that you have to do!
How has it gone before, when you put yourself in a situation where you were afraid that you would have separation anxiety? For instance, were you afraid to go to sleep away camp, but then did very well there? Were you afraid to move away to college, but then did very well? If that was the case in the past, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
But if that’s NOT the case, if you crashed and burned in the past when you tried to go away, then I don’t think that you should go. Better to challenge yourself by living at college and resisting going home, than going abroad where you just don’t have the option.
At this time,studying abroad may not be a wise choice for you in light of your anxiety, but also in light of the possibility of required isolation & limited activities due to the pandemic which might raise your level of anxiety.
P.S. One of the posts below reminded me of an anxiety laden student from Princeton University whom I encountered during one of my study abroad trips in college. The student–Brendan Frasier’s look-alike–flew about 27 hours to Hong Kong. Stayed one or two days, then flew back after his anxiety overwhelmed him. He then returned a week later & remained for the entire 15 week semester. He endured at least 71 hours of flying in just 9 days.
I love to travel. But a few weeks before any trip I enter the stage I call “what the hell was I thinking?” - I push through it & the trip (usually) goes well & I immediately start thinking about planning the next one. Study abroad is an amazing opportunity and you may not ever get a chance to live in another country again. Only you know if this anxiety is beyond normal fear of the unknown, but I would try to push past it and go. At worst it’s not the greatest three months of your life and then you come home. At best you have amazing new experiences that last the rest of your life.
Have you ever tried some cognitive behavioral therapy? It’s about facing your fears, and finding that you will survive ….brief description because I have to go…
Only one of my kids traveled abroad (3 weeks in Greece), and another had one cancelled due to Covid (New Zealand), but I know students who have, and have heard nothing but great things. My 20 year old actually booked herself a 3 day trip to Italy over thanksgiving to visit her friend in Florence who was on study abroad because of how much fun her friend was having. My 18 year old goes to college 12 hours away, dropped her off in the beginning of August, didn’t see her until the end of November, she’s heading back tomorrow and we will see her in May. It goes by so fast. I’ve heard the phrase “life changing” so many times with study abroad. I’m an anxious person, I start getting cranky weeks before a simple vacation, so I understand how you are feeling. I think this trip could help you conquer some anxiety in the future.
I felt exactly the same as you. I went so far as to call my college to ask if I could change my plans, and they said no. So I went and everything worked out great. I came back a completely different person, more mature and ready to tackle life’s challenges. I know you only have three weeks before you leave, but if you can talk to a therapist about your anxiety and learn some coping mechanisms, that might help you.
A little more info might help the answers. What country are you going to? Do you speak the language? Where will you be living? Is the program a “ your university in Paris” program or is it one where you study abroad at a foreign school? Are other students from your university doing it too?
I think if you thought you could do it before you can probably do it now. Your anxiety is kicking in now and clouding your judgement but if you thought it was something that was right for you before, your judgement unclouded by anxiety is probably the judgement you should listen to.
What year are you in school? Junior? If you’re a sophomore you might be able to put it off due to COVID and try again next year, but if you’re a junior you don’t usually have an opportunity for study abroad as a senior.
I think some strategies may help you. First figuring out how you can make friends is key. If other students from your college are going the same place talk to them now if you can. Reach out to your international studies office and ask them for ideas. They may be able to put you in touch with other students who are also going. See if there is a group online for the program. Also talk to students who have been before. Here again the office you are coordinating through maybe able to put you in touch. Or you could just google something like “my semester abroad in Paris blog” and read someone else’s account.
Anxiety is often triggered by fear of the unknown — not knowing what something is going to be like. Do all you can to research your program. Go on Google Streetview and virtually walk around the area. Talk to people who have done it if you can or read some blogs. Watch YouTube videos. Obviously other people’s experience won’t be the same as yours but it can help erase some of that fear of the unknown.
Ok, here’s a weird suggestion, but see if there’s an episode of “Somebody Feed Phil” that is set where you will be going. Don’t know if you’ve ever watched that show but Phil is such a positive, lovable goof that our vegetarian family doesn’t even mind watching him rave about how good the meat tastes wherever he is.
I did not study abroad when I was in college and it is now a big regret of mine. I have a friend who did a year abroad in Edinburgh and she made great friends who she has been back to see and who have come over to the US to see her.
Hope this helps. Anxiety sucks. I get anxious myself and both my kids have clinically diagnosed anxiety so I understand. I think one of my kids does want to do study abroad (she’s a high school senior now) though and I think she will have a great time and I bet you will too.
It’s normal to feel anxious right before travelling to a foreign country, particularly on your own and perhaps for the first time. I felt that way when I first ventured abroad to study in London a few decades ago. As others have mentioned, initial anxieties often fade quickly, as you make new friends, become familiar with your surroundings, get into a routine with classes, etc. And remember that if others are able to do it, many of whom might have shared your anxieties, chances are good that you can as well.
Compared to when I first ventured abroad, you can now instantly connect with families and friends back home via FaceTime/WhatsApp when you’re homesick. I, too, felt homesick but back then, we could only write letters, as international long-distance phone calls were quite expensive, and you didn’t hear back for a few weeks.
Not to set the bar too high, but my London experience was truly eye-opening and life changing - met my wife that year as well as a few life-long friends who now live in different parts of the world.
Watching travel videos is a great way to get excited about venturing abroad.
I’d go with “Deep down, I think I do want to go…” and have faith that it will work out well. Best wishes!
Love the advice about Somebody Feed Phil! He can make you fall in love with any location!
He’s so positive and funny and open to new experiences. I know when I watch the show it makes me want to travel (and eat)!
Seconding “Somebody feed Phil”!!! Fantastic idea.
See if there are TV shows that take place in that country (Netflix has a lot of them).
As for routine: you had to create new routines when you went to college. You’ll create new ones. It may be uncomfortable at first but you’ll notice it is so for everyone. Just like when everyone started college and was an awkward freshman, v. being a freshman at the end of term 
Are you going with your university? Is there a bunch of students from your college, or from various US colleges?
Do you speak the language or will you be learning it over there?
What will your living situation be - dorm, host family, apartment in town…?
Hi! I have anxiety so I can relate to how you are feeling. This summer I went away on my own for a volunteering program and I was terrified but I learned that it can help to build a fear ladder (only if you are comfortable with it). During the three weeks, take little steps up the ladder. For example, if the top of the ladder is going abroad, the first step of the ladder could be a small related fear, like maybe picking up prescriptions on your own (couldn’t think of a good example, sorry).
I don’t know if you get what I am trying to say, but once I climbed my fear ladder and went to volunteer, I was incredibly proud of myself and I think in the end you would feel the same way, however remember that you are not obligated to study abroad if you don’t feel comfortable. Wishing you the best! 
Obviously I don’t know you so any advice may be helpful or not. That said, it sounds like you’re actually making your self anxious (since you say that). So ruminating on your worries may be making it worse. You can find advice online such as Stop Being Anxious About Being Anxious | Psychology Today and A Simple but Effective Trick to Stop Worrying So Much | Psychology Today which may be helpful or not.
One observation to add is that many students find study abroad one of the most rewarding things they did in college. At various times were they lonely, worried, lost (including actually lost), feeling like it was too much to handle? Sure. But in retrospect they realized they could have those feelings and see things come out ok. As a post-college adult to move abroad means having to find a place to live, likely knowing nobody, finding a job, etc. Doing it in a study abroad program provides a big safety net. You have a place to live, you’ll be around other students, it’s time limited instead of a long-term or permanent move, food and finances are arranged. You still will face challenges but will have a support system and the safety net helps from being completely overwhelmed.