<p>Have you ever felt as if you needed a good joke to cheer you up? Well, this is the place. Post your jokes here fellow CCers.</p>
<p>How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?</p>
<li><p>One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;</p></li>
<li><p>One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;</p></li>
<li><p>One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;</p></li>
<li><p>One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret;</p></li>
<li><p>One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;</p></li>
<li><p>One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;</p></li>
<li><p>One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;</p></li>
<li><p>One to viciously smear #7;</p></li>
<li><p>One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;</p></li>
<li><p>And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. bag of coffee beans, and a bag of croutons.</p>
<p>As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.</p>
<p>While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."</p>
<p>The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.</p>
<p>She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.</p>
<p>Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"</p>
<p>A three-legged dog wearing a cowboy hat walks into a wild west saloon, draws his six-shooter and announces, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"</p>
<p>A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"</p>
<p>Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.</p>
<p>Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."</p>
<p>"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.</p>
<p>"And what do you deduce from that?"</p>
<p>Watson ponders for a minute.</p>
<p>"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"</p>
<p>Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"</p>
<p>A woman walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey where'd you get the pig?"
The women says "This isn't a pig it's a duck"
and the bartender says "No, I was talking to the duck!"</p>
<p>Well if you want to have a good laugh I'd say go to youtube and search a few SNL skits.
1. D*ck in a Box
2. Macgruber (there are 3)
3. Dear Sister (kind of strange for some)
4. Sofa King</p>