College-related light bulb jokes

<p>I thought I'd resurrect a thread from the old CC that was quite entertaining. I made most of these up myself, so be forewarned that they might not be earth-shatteringly fantastic. Each of these could work for several different schools, but I put up the first one I thought of.</p>

<p>The only one I remember from the old thread is:
How many Yale students does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody wants to - New Haven looks better in the dark.</p>

<p>How many Caltech students does it take?
11 - 1 to change it and 10 to ridicule the way MIT changed theirs.</p>

<p>How many USC students does it take?
5 - 1 to change it while the other 4 watch for gangs. (I know, I know...)</p>

<p>How many UChicago students does it take?
8 - 1 to change it and 7 to find the power of any electons that jumped off of a nearby piece of aluminum due to the photoelectric effect.</p>

<p>How many Reed students does it take?
4 - 1 to change it while the other 3 fend off any other students wanting to smoke the wire inside. (I know, I know...)</p>

<p>A classic:
How many Brown students does it take to change a light bulb?
The whole student body - To protest for the rights of the bulb.</p>

<p>I'll probably put up more later when I think of better ones. Feel free to add any yourself. :)</p>

<p>This could go with any college, but because I come from a University of Arizona family, I'll strike out against Arizona State University.</p>

<p>Q: How many ASU freshman does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. That's a sophomore course.</p>

<p>I like these.</p>

<p>That ASU one was great!!</p>

<p>Here are some ivy ones from a post awhile ago....</p>

<p>How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two -- one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.</p>

<p>How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven -- one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.</p>

<p>How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he gets six credits for it.</p>

<p>How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? One -- he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.</p>

<p>How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb? None -- Hanover doesn't have electricity.</p>

<p>How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two -- One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.</p>

<p>How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb? Seventy-six -- one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.</p>

<p>You left out Yale:</p>

<p>How many Yalies does it take to change a lightbulb? Unknown, because they took an oath not to reveal it.</p>

<p>I left out Yale cause it was the same as the first post, the New Haven one. But that one is good, too.</p>

<p>how about this tufts one:
Two, one to screw it in, and another to say loudly that he did it just as well as any Ivy League student.</p>

<p>How many Univ of Georgia students does it take to change a light bulb?</p>

<p>Three. Two to change the bulb and one to call a friend at Georgia Tech and get instructions.</p>

<p>i really don't understand the penn one...I go to penn and there are no credits. You have credit units and each class is either worth 1 cu or 1.5 (if the course has a lab)...I know most schools have credits and you get like 3 credits for one course. Maybe penn used to have them a long time ago when the joke developed...oh well.</p>

<p>penn's should have something to do with: jews, rich daddy's kids, cocaine, and wharton.</p>

<p>how many georgetown kids does it take?
the whole student body, one to screw it in, one to tell the other that he did it as well as any Ivy Leaguer, and the rest of the student body to reassure him (and themselves) that they are just as good as any ivy.</p>

<p>i just made this one up...</p>

<p>How many penn kids does it take?
4, one penn engineering student to screw it in, one whartonite who will get paid 7 figures to calculate the cost of screwing the bulb in, one nursing student to make sure no one gets hurt, and one college student to sit around and be jealous of the whartonite.</p>

<p>Damn bern, I'm so jealous you came up with that first! ;)</p>

<p>I love lightbulb jokes. I found these, so I can't claim credit.</p>

<p>Q: How many Stanford students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, dude.</p>

<p>Q: How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five--One to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about
it.</p>

<p>Q: How many Reed students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One--and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform
Birkenstocks.</p>

<p>Not college stereotypes exactly, but I also love musical stereotype lightbulb jokes--</p>

<p>Q: How many indie kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Wow, you haven't heard that yet?
OR
A: I have that joke on vinyl.</p>

<p>Q: How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two: One to do it and one to film it.</p>

<p>You can find a huge list of them on the old forum. Search "change lightbulb" under search and selection. Have fun! :)</p>

<p>keep posting them!</p>

<p>the stanford one is a little incorrect... nobody says "dude" anymore.. except possibly UC santa cruz or santa barbara. more appropriately, the joke should be:
Q: How many Stanford Students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Hella</p>

<p>this of course being a variation of the How many norcal people does it take...</p>

<p>(you have to be from here to get it, but ill explain, hella is a dumb word we use to fill in sentences, similar to "uhm" or "like".. although more often it is used in context of "a lot" or "many" or some sort of intensifier, like "the light bulb is hella bright"... come to san francisco, listen to two teenagers talk, you'll be amazed.</p>

<p>Thanks yemaya for pointing to the old thread. I'll post a few of my favorites from there.</p>

<p>How many Vassar students does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven: one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.</p>

<p>How many Oberlin students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one. </p>

<p>How many Amherst students does it take to change a light bulb?
Thirteen: one to change the bulb and an a capella group to immortalize the event in song. </p>

<p>How many Bucknell students does it take to change a light bulb?
One: but he'll only change it if he can put in a white light bulb. </p>

<p>How many Davidson students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: lightbulb changing is free at Davidson. </p>

<p>Modified:
How many Johns Hopkins premeds does it take?
Three: One to change it while the other two knock down the ladder.</p>

<p>How many Colby students does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they prefer to be left in the dark about everything -- except when the Northern Lights appear.</p>

<p>How many psychology grad students [insert grad program of your choice] does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.</p>

<p>That thread is really funny! Here's a few I liked...</p>

<p>How many Georgetown students does it take to change a light bulb?
Four: one to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at American U. students. </p>

<p>How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight: it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress. </p>

<p>How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in. </p>

<p>How many University of Chicago students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: they'll just all read in the dark until exams are over
OR
One: Would you really expect to see two Chicagoans doing something unscholastic together? </p>

<p>How many UNC students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: one to screw it in and one to take the old bulb and save it for throwing during the next UNC-Duke game</p>

<p>There's</a> more where these came from.</p>

<p>How many Wash U students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None-All the qualified ones are enrolled at an Ivy.</p>

<p>How many Warsaw University students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?</p>

<p>Three. One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.</p>

<p>Okay, so i just used a polish joke and found a college from poland to apply it to.</p>