<p>Just hope Penn AdComms felt the same. Yes, felt, past tense because decisions are likely already made.</p>
<p>^I am sure they “DID”</p>
<p>Yeah! So good luck to everyone. Someone please knock me out with tranquilizer then wake me up on Thursday at 5, haha.</p>
<p>i feel like mine sounds like crap compared to the essays posted here. feel free to pitch in your two cents guys!</p>
<p>It was a chilly November morning when I arrived at the 30th Street Station and set my foot out the door to walk to the Penn campus. Not many students were around the campus because I was there early in the morning, so I decided to take my time and look for Houston Hall. I went around the campus taking pictures of the scenery, and then I ran into a huge Penn logo, which of course, I had to take a picture of with myself. I really got to soak up the aura of the school as I walked around in the nippy weather. This gave me personal time to assess the physical characteristics of the campus, and with the positive feel I had about the school, I was even more excited to head into the information session to learn more about Penn.
The first and most lasting impression I got from Penn was that this was a place I could see myself spending four years of my life without ever getting bored as it is located so close to the city. While having a cup of green tea at Einstein’s, I waited for the information session to start. After the session, I was truly impressed by how Penn was not like the “typical ivy league” school that puts heavy emphasis on purely numbers, but rather looked at their applicants holistically, valuing each applicant’s quality. It struck me that University of Pennsylvania really makes an effort in trying to accommodate all students and applicants academically and financially. When the session and the tour were over, I knew Penn would be my definite first choice; however I wanted to see if any other schools would be a better fit. I noticed, as I visited other colleges, that I was comparing all of these other schools to Penn. These other schools seemed to me like the potential boyfriends that just fell short from being the perfect boyfriend, Penn.
Then came April, and I had another chance to visit Penn. Fortunately, this week happened to be the preview week for the accepted incoming freshmen, so I was able to feel the vibrant spirit of the school. Everywhere I looked, representatives from a variety of organizations were in the midst of hosting activities, and advertising their groups. I learned so much more from this day about the lifestyle and the spirit of Penn, and felt that the students had an unending love for their school.
One of the groups that caught my attention was SPEC. I am a highly outgoing person who loves to have fun. I have also been the committee chairperson of social events for my school’s Key Club, so I would be a resourceful asset to that group. I would love to be a part of organizing and developing events such as the Spring Fling and Fall Festival. Not only would I enjoy planning for these events, I’d be thrilled to show my Penn pride and my love for the school. Also, I think it would be particularly useful to be part of the Student Activities Council (SAC) to work hand in hand with SPEC to make Penn an even more dynamic community. These activities seem extremely specific to Penn, which gives me even more reason to take part in these groups.
Also, I’m thoroughly intrigued by the unique Biological Basis of Behavior major at Penn, which will give me an integrated knowledge ranging from neuropsychology to basic interdisciplinary courses such as biology and chemistry. With this major, I can comprehensively learn how the neurons send messages to the brain, which ultimately affects the way humans behave____ which captivates me. BBB gives students open research opportunities with professors, and I am particularly interested in the research being conducted by Dr. Ted Abel and his study of the ways in which forgetfulness may be related to sleep deprivation. I believe BBB will allow me to freely research the connection between human psychology and physiology.
What I love the most about Penn is that this university provides an intellectual environment along with an exciting social scene. Of the many colleges I have visited, I felt that these other schools sacrificed one for the other, and did not have a balance like at Penn. While Penn highly values education, it also gives the students countless opportunities to grow as individuals. The spirit and love the students have for Penn is profound and this, to me, is a huge factor for why Penn is where I belong, because I also love Penn. Next September, I would like to step onto the campus as a student of Penn, as a Quaker, walking through the Quad and Locust Walk in my Penn sweater, holding a cup of tea from Einstein’s heading to my first class as a freshman of University of Pennsylvania.</p>
<p>^ omg my last paragraph also had the idea of walking down locust walk in my Penn hoodie haha</p>
<p>haha really? not sure if that’s a good thing or not.</p>
<p>but what do you guys think about my essay?</p>
<p>Hmm interesting. I didn’t add any additional reasons why I wanted to go to UPenn in my app. Basically described one thing that interested me there, went indepth on how I was going to affect it, and then why I was the best candidate for change. </p>
<p>Hope that doesn’t take away from my essay =( You guys all have crazy descriptive stuff about the Penn campus. =O</p>
<p>Goodness. I knew my own Penn essay was pretty weak, but these are all amazing.</p>
<p>not posting my entire essay because it’s a bit personal (identity…yeah) but here is a bit from the last paragraph, obviously not as good as these.
Penn has been my dream forever (penn family: mom/brother) just as a heads up!</p>
<p>“While these social activities will introduce me to the greater Philadelphia community, Ive been acquainted with the University of Pennsylvania campus since I was a young girl. I was only eight when I walked down Locust Walk and attended my first football game. At that time, the Victorian gothic style buildings captured my attention. Many years later, as my brother toured the Penn campus, the prestige of the university impacted me. But now, at the age of 17, I know that the academic offerings, community service opportunities and the social atmosphere that the Penn campus embodies, makes Penn the best fit for me. My views of Penn have certainly evolved over the years, but one thing has remained the same; it is still my first choice. Nothing would make me happier than to don a Penn sweatshirt and walk to Franklin Field to cheer on my team and throw toast onto the field.”</p>
<p>WE FIND OUT SO SOON! I can hardly stand it!</p>
<p>any comments on that little snippet I posted above? It sucks compared to all of you, so I am a bit concerned.</p>
<p>Everyone here is so…good :(</p>
<p>here’s a little snippet from mine, jumpin on the bandwagon =D</p>
<p>Behind the much touted prestige of a Wharton degree lays an intense curriculum with which I am genuinely enamored. Although business is the dominant interest in my academic future, this interest was built upon a heavy foundation in mathematics. As the son of an accountant and an engineer, I received heavy influences that developed my love for numbers as well as my interests in the financial world. Exceptional but not prodigal, my mathematical skills matured throughout high school and became the cornerstone to my academic personality. I need a program that will not let my talent with numbers stagnate while I pursue a career path that is not entirely mathematical. Whartons emphasis on the mathematical aspect of business excites me greatly because I will be able to pursue my passions without renouncing the mathematical core to which I attribute my academic success; it represents a future to which I can offer my complete devotion.</p>
<p>Wow your essays are just awesome! ^^ I’ve read them and felt like mine is just crap. I wrote about the very ideas of my life at Penn. 
Btw, could anyone accepted through ED or with likely letter post yours here?</p>
<p>@AvgAsian: Yours is so… good, too! :)</p>
<p>Yeah I agree with miu!!</p>
<p>Ukie, so i will put one paragraph of my essay here (the other parts are too personal to be publicized):</p>
<p>“As I browsed through Givology.com, an online charity launched by a group of Whartonites, I was continually impressed with their unceasing dedication to the global community through actively setting up community-based projects and seeking sponsorship for education grants. At Penn, it seems that all Quakers involve themselves in a University-wide scheme of engaging in the local neighborhood to solve the most important social issues of our day. I cannot help giggling to myself every time I imagine the very idea of my life at Penn. What could be more fulfilling than waking up at 6 in a free morning without classes, gathering all my energy for a new day, putting a huge smile on my face, walking in the crowded Locust Walk that always makes me feel alive, and savoring the radiant West Philadelphian sunshine while heading to the neighboring Shaw Middle School to help improve the environment in that area?”</p>
<p>Lolz my friend often says she feels tired whenever reading my writing 'cuz my sentences are always too long.</p>
<p>Ugh everyone’s essays are great! AND they all talk about Penn as a whole. I just wrote about one group and went really in-depth about how i would join it etc. Maybe my autobiographical essay will redeem me?</p>
<p>@tompkins</p>
<p>I believe people that wrote about one group really had an advantage; they showed passion for that particular group. It’s like if you were to join every club at school just for the heck of it, you wouldn’t be looked at the same way as a person who joins a club they really like, demonstrates passion for that one club, and sticks with it for four years. I don’t think you are at a disadvantage. You ARE trying to demonstrate where you will fit in Penn, and knowledge of a particular place where you think you will fit will only increase your chances; information about the school as a whole could be found easily on the internet. Information about particular groups and “communities” was found with researching about your passions and tying them into Penn.</p>
<p>^ everything I read in this thread was excellent</p>
<p>Wow. These essays are truly amazing. I am really unsure about getting in, esp with this 14.2% rate, but here goes. These essays are my babies. My best ones. 
</p>
<p>Essays:
Penn Communities:</p>
<p>In my mind’s eye, I am in my city. Here, the red letters L-O-V-E bedazzle a neo-gothic campus. A spectrum of colors entices me to the horizon, where the answers to my inquiries lurk. Everything comes together at one university and because of One University. Here I am, a boy with a pocket full of dreams in a city at his disposal. That boy is not alone. He is never alone.
The streets are dirty, the coffee too strong, the days too long, but the colors of this boy’s life – green, orange, white – provide vibrancy on the path. The colors were not always so bold; they began pale, shallow, without flush. But that boy grew wiser and wiser. Each day his life took on a new hue. Passion, resilience, tenacity. His life became clear, his vision untainted. His parents transferred their dreams unto his pallet of colors, giving him reason to make another stroke on the canvas of his future. Another hue with flush, another virtue with history, both originating from a land far away. His parents fondly call it India; to him, it is heart. That boy bows his head to his parents and elders; they give him blessings of a bright future. These boons expand the spectrum of color and add layers to his dream, his story. It has not just green but also emerald, not just orange but also claret.
I linger between a new home and an old heart, at the altar before the gods. My eyes glide with inking precision across the glinting white pages, from which aphorisms of long ago shine their light on my soul. The Holy Geeta has the answers that direct me to the horizon. Ancient words tell the story of my descendents, more elaborate than my own, but still they give me spirit. Knowledge of the past, of these native colors and the red, white and blue of my home portray my colorful identity, one that will be further enhanced by two, more vivid hues of Royal Red and Blue. Finer perspectives, new friends, world-class professors at the College of Arts and Sciences, and True Learning will fuse together to provide this boy, me, a changed identity.
‘That kid’s got passion,’ they say. Resilience, tenacity, compassion. Many times, impenetrable obstacles hinder my way, but alter my direction, and give me crisp, deeper hues. And my mind is never at home; it traverses the cosmos, searching for new questions to tackle, finding some and discarding others. My mind is a threshold, a place where my beliefs are meshed together, my philosophy constantly re-tailored. It thirsts for the knowledge and the wisdom to change the world, to exude a fresh perspective unto the collective brilliance. It is an exceptional, driven mind.
And for the first time, in this city of Philadelphia, my mind, home, and heart will reside in unison. For the first time, I will have a city at my disposal. I would contribute my cultural outlook through participation in the Desi dance group Dhamaka, and in return glean my own, refined perspective. I would cheer on my fellow Quakers at every sports event, and the Locust Walk experience would cure me of any infrequent boredom. Philadelphia and Penn, two separate entities, exist in symbiosis, their diversity and social atmospheres acting as adherents to the academic standing of this dreamland. Four years later, I will exit through the campus gates with a community of others. New friends will help me make my impact on the world because the magnitude of my aspirations will have aligned with theirs.
It is now a new dawn. The sun gently rises above the horizon, and shadows block this boy’s way; but he will take the unchartered direction. The rough terrain flushes his unique mesh of colors, adding depth to his perspective. And he has a pocket full of dreams to light his faint way. </p>
<p>Page 217:
Optional Essay: You have just completed a 300-page autobiography. Please submit Page 217.</p>
<p>On the 20th of January, 2040, we completed the first brain-transfusion-bypass surgery and made history. The procedure took almost 3 days – 2 days, 19 hours, and 34 minutes – and at the end we were exhausted, but a life was saved. We had a team of twenty bright neurosurgeons, nurses, anesthesiologists, and anesthetic nurses, working day and night in alternating shifts. When the surgery was complete, the entire surgery staff was glowing with joy and pride, this being the latest significant milestone in medical history. Our hospital administrator mentioned that letters of acclaim began to fly in not even four hours after completion, but the heart-felt gratitude from her family was much more than enough. By chance, that day was also my birthday.
The patient’s name was Jennifer Walker. 34 years of age, 5 foot 3. Brown eyes, black hair. Walker had nearly eighty per cent blockage in a significant proportion of her most important brain arteries, just between her skull and head in the sub-arachnoid space. In my estimation, this could have resulted from a series of extraordinary impressions and experiences incurred throughout her life, instances in which her blood pressure was continuously high, her sleep schedule consistently altered, her nutritional state very degraded.
She was brought in that previous Tuesday, having had a serious case of cerebral hemorrhage due to peculiarly high blood pressure. My team first isolated the genetic mutations and hormonal imbalances that gave way to this unique scenario, and treated each factor individually. The result was a multitude of treatment procedures intertwined and sometimes in confliction.
After running these necessary tests, we began the surgery. Drs. Rohan Jain and Nikita Patel helped me direct the team. We had to clip off her twenty-five constricted arteries. Recent technological developments in neural cell research made transfusion between her cloned nerve cells and Walker possible, but it was nevertheless quite strenuous. We had to use threads that were thinner than the width of a single hair strand and some of the most powerful electron microscopes in the nation. Our biggest financial supporter was the University of Pennsylvania, which donated</p>
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<li>217 -</li>
</ul>
<p>I’m just worried that my essay wasn’t really on topic. I answered the question very peripherally. D: We’ll see! It was my first choice for a long time before Chicago became my first choice, but now I’m in love with Penn again! (having been waitlisted at Chicago…)</p>