The new sat essay scoring

<p>So I just read the 'FREE SAT Essay Scoring' thread that was posted a long time ago and thought that it was a great idea. However I think that nobody is actually scoring the essays anymore so I thought of starting a new one.</p>

<p>Everything's basically the same, maximum two minutes every essay and I will give you a scored out of 6. I will try to give you feedbacks so please feel free to post your essays here. In addition, if you are bored of studying you can grade other people's essays too. I mean, maybe you guys can become SAT-essay-scoring-buddies <em>urhm?</em>.</p>

<p>I would also like to request you guys to please grade a few of my essays as well.
My exam's in May and my first SAT score wasn't very ideal X.X</p>

<p>Anyways, I look forward to reading your brilliant essays!
Thank you in advance :)</p>

<p>Here goes my first essay :D</p>

<p>ASSIGNMENT: can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<p>ANSWER: I refute the idea that knowledge could be a burden. In the 21st century, knowledge is literally our food and an essence to survival.</p>

<pre><code> One good example is Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple Inc. It is safe to say that he is one of the world’s most admired figures. However, without the knowledge of software and information technology, it would be almost impossible for Steve Jobs to be what he became. Therefore, knowledge is not a burden but a key to success.

     Similar to Steve Jobs is Fraser Dougherty. He had set up his own business, SuperJam, at the age of fourteen. He had learnt the secret recipe from his grandmother and was then encouraged to turn this into a business idea. An internationally-popular jam cannot be produced by somebody who do not know the right temperature to boil jams or how much sugar to put. A successful entrepreneur cannot set up an enterprise without having knowledge of what he is doing. Hence, knowledge aids the success of an individual.


   Education in the 21st century is the pursuit of almost everybody. Even the poor seeks knowledge. Why? They know that these information would come into handy and would benefit them in the long run. For example, taking a three-week session of first-aid would allow you to save lives during a car accident. Parents are willing to pay thousands for their children to gain as many skills as possible because it increases chances of survival. Therefore, knowledge is vital, contrary to burdensome.


    In conclusion, the examples of Steve Jobs and Fraser Dougherty aid my refutation that knowledge is a burden.

</code></pre>

<p>Prompt :Is it necessary to know the events of the past to understand those of the present?
It is crucial to know the events of the past in order to understand those of the present as it enables us to draw parallels and find similarities and differences which help in making more efficient and responsible choices as we are aware of our past failures. Several examples from literature, sports and history support the notion that an awareness of past events allows us to fully comprehend current situation. This knowledge allows one to realize the consequences of one’s actions and the possible outcomes of the situation.</p>

<p>Through the actions of the visionary Indian industrialist, Dhirubhai Ambani, the founder of Reliance industries, we can see that his knowledge of the nature of Indian politics and past attempts to curb the growth of private industries helped him overcome adversity. When Dhirubhai returned from Aden in 1922 to India as an enterprising cotton textiles dealer, he witnessed the difficulties faced by other industrialists looking to expand. This prior knowledge helped him devise a plan through which he could escape the crippling clutches of the Indian ministry for textiles and jute and successfully establish one of India’s largest private corporations. Thus his awareness of the past events helped him plan ahead as he had been aware of the possible objections.</p>

<p>Manchester United, the most successful club on English soil, displayed that an acute awareness of past events aids us to overcome future obstacles. Rocked by Manchester City’s rise to the top, the club was said to be in crisis and on a rapid downwards spiral. However, Sir Alex Ferguson, their manager knew better and did not make any rash moves in the summer that ensued, the summer of 2012.This season, Robin VanPersie’s goals have propelled them to the title in record time. When quizzed later Fergie revealed that he had withstood similar surges in 1992 and 1995 and this experience aided him greatly in making efficient decisions. Hence his prior knowledge helped him stay calm and as a result, make the right calls.</p>

<p>In the play, Blood Wedding by Garcia Lorca, prior experience of blood feuds helped the bride groom’s mother deal with her loss and almost even expect tragedy when the feud began. Since these blood feuds were common place in Andalusia, she had been aware of the consequences of such an event.</p>

<p>Therefore, we can see that awareness of events in the past indeed aid our comprehension of current events through the examples of Ambani, United and the Blood Wedding.</p>

<p>@rinko5168
2 /3 out of 6.
Not bad atall for your first attempt.
Try to adhere to the issue raised by the prompt.
And try to throw in more content.
Apart from this ,you’ll certainly improve if you practise further.
Please grade mine too !!</p>

<p>comeback, i am a parent, not a kid who is actually taking this test (ever, ever, ever again), so please consider this (that I have been in no prep course and have not been told if one style of writing is preferred over another, etc) when you read my response. </p>

<p>I am an attorney, and as such, I am very fond of the KIS (Keep it Simple) principle and the active voice.</p>

<p>The changes below do not necessarily accomplish either of these completely, but I do believe they strike a balance between your style and an active style. Tighten up by shortening the sentences but at the same time expand the thought if it will add to the essay; delete unnecessary and/or redundant clauses; be persuasive (you’re being asked an opinion. don’t be afraid to state it like it’s gospel, even if it’s not, so long as you have information to support your position. this will be the most effective imo) </p>

<p>I have NO ACCESS TO ENHANCED EDITING ON THESE BOARDS and it frustrates me BEYOND belief. Do i need a certain post count to access those privileges too (ridiculous)? I had strike thrus in your txt (to show you more clearly what I deleted and where), and of course, they aren’t transferring over, so I’ll just have to explain what I did: The bracketed portion is my txt or your txt moved. all of your deleted txt I had to fully delete so u cld even understand the reply. </p>

<p>Your essay is a good start (nice command of language). good luck!</p>

<p>Prompt :Is it necessary to know the events of the past to understand those of the present?</p>

<p>[Having a good and cognizant grasp on the] events of the past is crucial toward any effort to truly understand the events of the present. Past events enable us to draw parallels; find similarities and differences – [all of] which [aid us] in making more efficient and responsible choices. Knowledge [of the past] allows one to realize the possible [consequences of one’s actions] and [may help one to predict the future outcome] of a given situation.
Several examples that support this notion [can be drawn ] from literature, sports and history.</p>

<p>BTW, if anyone knows how i can get an administrator a note to get advanced editing i would surely appreciate you passing that info along.</p>

<p>Hi sir, I was wondering if you could grade my essay on the topic that the true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. I am taking the SATs in March and it would be great if you could help me by scoring my essay. Thank you!
Essay: Imagination is a powerful motivator that can handhold in the process of learning and creating one’s dreams, which differs it from knowledge, which is simply a pursuer in the path of intelligence, not a creator of such a characteristic. Although knowledge is viewed as the ultimate source of understanding and smartness in the world, I personally believe that imagination is the most important element to intelligence in that it motivates a person to become knowledgeable. In the novel “Catcher in the Rye”, the main character Holden Caulfield is a person that is not all-knowing but has a wild imagination and keen eye for the future, which sets him on the right path, showing his intelligence. Similar to the novel, black history in the United States has shown the power of imagination in turning conflicting opinions into favorable switches for Black Americans during a period of nonstop racism and discrimination. I have always been a dreamer, and this quality of mine showed my true intelligence against my cousin, who battled against me with the power of knowledge. Dreamers are believers and this establishes the fact that people who imagine are the most intelligent due to their capability of foreseeing and making events favorable in their life.
“Catcher in the Rye” is a novel with various themes that show the power of people over their determined fate. Due to his impulsive nature and lack of determination to succeed at school, Holden Caulfield is thrown out of all of his schools and deemed worthless by all, including his parents. Holden believes in this opinion too, and decides to ruin his life by going to New York and cheating his parents of his deal to study properly. The city teaches Holden valuable lessons; how to exercise his control, live without engaging in profligacy and most importantly learn to dream. When Holden realizes that life is slipping away from him, especially when he calls for trouble with an indecent woman and stays all night at bars, he fixes his mind on one thing: his dream to be a catcher in the rye. Although his sister Phoebe, his most avid supporter thinks that this is crazy and that there is no such profession as a catcher in the rye, Holden uses his dream as a motivator to “try again.” He tells his parents about all the wrong-doings that he had committed and starts a fresh life, determined to succeed to fulfill his passion this time around. Here, intelligence of his behavior came only through imagination, not true knowledge.
Black history is an amazing period filled with fluctuations in America’s seventeenth and nineteenth and twentieth centuries with discrimination playing a key role in determining the status of Black Americans. Southern whites, who were against African Americans, used the concept of slavery to make blacks labor hard and be pressed underneath them, due to their color and racial backgrounds. Even when slavery had appeased to an extent, whites established literacy tests and grandfather clauses to show the power of knowledge in determining intelligence and extension of voting rights to Black Americans. Although illiterates who were undermined underneath the power of the whites, Black Americans never gave up their hope in restoring a community that would welcome them. They constantly fought back and came up with new ideas (including bus boycotts and nonviolence) to favor a new system that would help them move up the social ladder. Through their increased efforts came the ideals of great reformers such as W.E.B. Du Bois who persisted that they become educated to fight against the obvious discrepancies between them and whites. Imagination was first in helping them understand and dream a place of security and fairness for them, then came knowledge which pursued their intelligence further.
As a child born to a family full of educated individuals, I was always motivated to study and achieve. Up to 8th grade, I was always first in my class and realized the power of education in my life. I always had a passion for creativity though, which was deemed as less important in my tradition and given a cursory look at. 9th grade was a new year and I had remained the same, but my grades were sloping downward. I didn’t know what to do and clearly, I was frightening my mom and dad with grades that were unacceptable to our standards. My cousin, on the other hand, had maintained his position and people in the family started claiming that his knowledge was a sign of his intelligence unlike me (who apparently was not as smart as him). This motivated me to try harder and show everyone that imagination deserves its merits and rewards and that in no way I was lesser than my cousin. I won through with this when I published my own book with my creativity and passion instilled in it. My cousin, on the other hand, just proved with his grades, which showed that I had the upper hand. My family saw the true intelligence in me and learned and finally understood that imagination is the true sign of intelligence, not knowledge.
Imagination is a creator; knowledge can only pursue. People who want to inspire or create or show their true intelligence should follow their imagination and not base their decisions on pure knowledge like me, Holden, and the Black Americans did during our crises. Follow your dreams is an important quote spoken by many, and if followed it will showcase each and every person’s true potential and intelligence.</p>

<p>Thank you for reading my essay. Please point out any grammatical errors or things that you feel can be worked on so that I can get a 12 on this on my SAT. I have been consistently getting an 11 due to a few grammar mistakes so if you spot any, I would appreciate if you could let me know how I could improve on those. Thank you again! </p>