<p>After wasting a good portion of the past two years of my life on a site that promotes not only self deprecation and a subtle resentment of asians, indians, and URMs (at least to a WASP like me), but also attempts to narrow down the college admissions process to an exact science, I've realized that 95% of threads on CC fit into one of six categories. </p>
<pre><code>1) The "Drinking is...a) bad, b) fun, c) pointless" Thread
This thread comes up at least once a month on either the College Life, Parents, or High School Life forum, and it's usually pretty predictable. First, the poster will ask an unbiased question such as, "Who here drinks?," or "Do people at your school drink as much as they do here?" It's only a matter of time before there's one of four types of replies:
1) "Drinking makes baby Jesus cry."
This person usually places underage drinking on par with infanticide, pointing out that both are illegal and dangerous activities, harmful to the undeveloped brain. Oh, and alcohol tastes like crap.
2) "****, I just spilled my handle of vodka on the keyboard."
This person is quick to boast that yes, s/he gets trashed out of their mind every weekend, hell, most weeknights, but still takes 10 APs, volunteers 100 hours/wk, and runs an orphanage for impoverished midgets. This person is probably lying.
3) "I don't drink, but I don't look down on people who do."
Translation: I am better than that idiot above me.
4) "I drink, sometimes."
Ah, the voice of reason. They claim to drink, though not excessively, and it's always in good fun. Then again, this is the person who will mostly like begin the next sentence with, "Well, in Europe..." at which point the thread is all downhill from there
2) The "Self-Glorification" Thread
Or in other words, "Omgzzz, lyk Chances tyme!" There's always that "4.0 uw, 2400 SAT, 3 800 SAT II, 5000+ community service hours teaching blind, paralyzed Eskimos to read braille with their tongue, oh and by the way I'm from Compton" guy wanting to know what his chances at Compton Community College are. Regardless of where this person posts, the UC-Riverside forum or the Harvard forum, they'll probably be called out or just plain ignored by any level headed person. Then again, this is CC, and posts like this can make a person freak out and post something like...
3) The "OMGZ, I got an 89% in 10th grade Health" Thread
This is basically what CC is all about. We all come here for "help" with college admissions but before we know it we're questioning that A- in English or the decision to quit swimming when we were ten ("Dude, I could have been like totally sweet and like totally a recruited athlete."). CC isn't pure evil though and it does offer comfort. As retarded as some of the queries are, there's always someone to offer reassurance.
4) The "Insert Moral Debate Here" Thread
Abortion. Creationism. Death Penalty. God. How Stupid George Bush is. These are issues we struggle with in every day life, so it's no wonder they're transferred into online discussions. But this is basically no more than a glorified form of "LJ Drama" (bonus points for those familiar with the term). Not that I'm against intellectually stimulating debate, but the circular argumentation in some of these threads is astounding. Fortunately, these threads eventually die out by the time the new Harry Potter book/movie comes out.
5) The "Boi/Gurl Problem" Thread
Let's ponder this one. You go to a board devoted to college admissions. People on said board like to a) argue over what the curve will be for the next critical reading section of the SAT, b) play the "or" game for hours on end, or c) edit each others college essays. You decide to ask people on said board how to ask out that senior girl in your physics class. Hm, good luck with that.
6) The "Everything Else" Thread
"What's your favorite book/movie/anime character?" "RSI!" "How do I get a perfect on..?" "Best School for...?" "_____ Sucks" etc, etc, etc. Overly repetitive but at least generally on topic and slightly more informative than that never ending "Word Association" game.
Of course, there is that 5% of threads that are legit, informative, and perhaps even helpful. And this isn't dissing CC at all. Predictable it is, but that only adds to the comfort, possibly explaining why everyone flocks here when they should be writing that 10-page paper due in six hours. Don't think it's predictable? Then why can I already foresee the types of replies I'll get?
"That was stupid." Yes, yes it was.
"What elitist ********." You think I think I'm better than you because I just spent an hour writing that on a Saturday night? Go ahead.
"That was funny." I know, I kill myself sometimes. My favorite was the tongue reading braille part.
"That wasn't funny." You know what's also not funny? Juvenile Diabetes.
"I can think of other categories." Oh yeah, totally. Please share your witty insight.
"So then what's the point of CC?" As someone so thoughtfully wrote in another thread, the important thing is having an active forum. Sure, we've argued the merits of PR over Barrons time after time, but that isn't what matters. I know it's not only helped and informed me, but also amused me. A lot. And that's really what matters.
One more note, the Parents forum is a whole other story, with its own categories I'm sure. I stay the hell away from there--it scares me on so many levels. I can only imagine the discussions going on in their right now...
</code></pre>