Just to be clear: I was not advocating that parents stay out of their kids’ lives. I was simply trying to say that the policy against parental involvement can be worked around and may even have some legitimate basis. I have spent years and years staying in touch, visiting, monitoring and ferreting out causes for health issues for my kids, and have personally encouraged and facilitated their medical leaves when needed.
However, when they are on campus, I tried to stay out of things as much as possible and found those strategic nudges to administrators to suffice. I support the limits on parental involvement, in other words, with some of the exceptions I described. (However, both my kids already had diagnoses and accommodations by the time they entered college.)
Olymom I totally agree that experiencing obstacles and failures can “build character” as they say. Some of that is due to their increasing ability to handle thing on their own, but that growth is most certainly not as possible without the behind the scenes support and wisdom of parents 