<p>Essay is not only important in SATI, but also in college admissions and TOEFL.
So I'm starting this thread. I'll put up assignments and we'll write essay. I hope someone knowledged could help us with grading. I hope it helps many people a lot, including me. kk</p>
<p>Prompt:
"That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value."</p>
<p>Thomas Paine</p>
<p>Assignment:
Do we value only what we struggle for? Plan your response, and then write an essay to explain your views on this issue. Be sure to support your position with specific points and examples. (You may use personal examples or examples from your reading, observations, or, knowledge of subjects such as history, literature, science.)</p>
<p>While preparing for the essays, do I have to finish within 25 minutes like real sat exam?</p>
<p>oh my god that 25 min time limit sucks so bad</p>
<p>Essay Prompt</p>
<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.</p>
<p>If we valued honesty, we would be willing to risk our jobs to become whistleblowers and tell truths that our employers did not want revealed. If we valued success, we would give up our free time in order to excel in a subject or sport. In other words, the sacrifices we are willing to make reveal what we care about the most.</p>
<p>Can what we value be determined only by what we sacrifice? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>Your Response</p>
<p>I most certainly concur that what we value can be determined only by what we sacrifice. This is portrayed in the tragic play by William Shakespeare, "Macbeth".
In this particular play, the main character, Macbeth is very ambitious to becoming king and as such goes to great extremes in the attempt to fulfill his dream. Macbeth sacrifices a great deal to become (and remain as) king. He even betrays his friend, Banquo and savagely murders him in order to keep his throne. In addition, he also sacrificed his sanity and begins having visions of ghosts and his wife begins to sleepwalk regularly. Macbeth sacrifices all of these things to have what he values most, kingship. Later in the play, he also murders the family of Macduff and consequently looses all credibility as a king. He begins to be seen as a tyrant by all of Scotland and so even sacrifices his dignity to achieve what he values most, his kingship.
Coming from an extended family in which not much persons have a tertiary education, my parents certainly value a university degree and subsequently have made numerous sacrifices to be able to afford a college education for myself and my brother. My mother gave up her work and decided to stay home with me to be able to supervise me and help in my success. Furthermore, my father works extremely hard, doing extra work for as much as five extra hours per day to ensure that I would be able to achieve a university education. My parents value education the most and so made sacrifices to ensure that I could be successful with the help of a tertiary education.
In conclusion, what we value can, in fact be determined only by what we sacrifice as seen in the play Macbeth as well as my person experiences with my parents.</p>
<p>The online course essay grader game me a 5 but I think that's a little high. Anyone want to clarify?</p>
<p>Thx. If you've got online topics and graders, why don't you always put up the topics and check them for us??</p>
<p>In my country, there's an old saying: Hunter chasing after two rabbits gets nothing. So then like the hunter, everyone in the world, will have to choose one and sacrifice the other. </p>
<p>Let me give some of my personal experience. My mom was is intelligent and she really did well at both school and university. she graduated medical university with "A" degree and started working in national cancer center as a cancer researcher. she used to study on cancer viruses, which is very important for the humanity, since millions of people are suffering and dying because of it.
she had to stop working there, because she got pregnant and bore my sister. after all, she gave up working there and became a great housewife. otherwise, my sisters and I could've been characteristically bad. I think she sacrificed her career for us!!!</p>
<p>Also during the World War II, there were bunches of Japanese suiciders called Kamikaze's.
They're given just enough fuel to reach their target and bomb it, but no fuel to come back. They were sacrificing themselves for their country. The same thing happens to Iraq now.
I'm not going to blame Iraq or USA. But what they do is right for them. They did suicidal a lot for what they valued most, their native country.</p>
<p>In conclusion, seeing from the examples, what we value is absolutely determined by what we sacrifice.</p>
<p>Mine is too short, cuz time is too short. kk. it's my second essay written for sat prep. help me improve it, guys!!!</p>
<p>Tsenguun, what score are you aiming for on the essay portion?</p>
<p>Vin:</p>
<p>My family friend is a licensed SAT essay grader. I gave him the jist of your essay, and he said it was about an 8.</p>
<p>You should develop your thoughts more, specifically in your introduction.
In the second paragraph, you never state what your explanation of Macbeth proves. You just say what happens, but not why it supports your argument.</p>
<p>You use a lot of extraneous commas, and have some spelling errors. While a couple of these will be overlooked and won't hurt you, you have a large number of them. Just make some time to proofread and you should be alright :) In addition, you use some redundancies that don't add anything to your essay. Be as concise as possible. One example of this is when you state: "I most certainly concur" as opposed to "I concur." You should also try as hard as possible to avoid bluntly stating "I (blank)" because graders will penalize you for it.</p>
<p>Also, he says it's VERY valuable to present a new spin on things in your conclusion. For example, you could tack on: "One wonders if (...)"</p>
<p>I'm not trying to be too harsh, I'm just trying to help you out. I have no doubts that if you can fix up some of the problems listed above you'll do great :)</p>
<p>PM me if you have any more essays you'd like me to critique. I'll warn you though, I'm only a rising junior, so take what I say with a grain of salt.</p>
<p>Ben</p>
<p>anything about me, Ben?? kk. considering that i'm not native speaker, i'm just aiming for 10+. I don't know If i can take it, but i'll give it a try.</p>
<p>I am a native speaker and got a 9 cause 25 minutes is not enough time to write 5 paragraphs...even skipped pre-writing. I got the same on the ACT essay too which is 30 minutes long. That one was a home-run with massive vocabulary words used and perfect thought development. I doubt they even read the essays since a computer can grade it. Just write something that uses a ton of "I", is 5 paragraphs, and 2 pages.</p>
<p>I dont think those AI's can figure out human scripts</p>
<p>SAT and ACT hand-score your essays....but it is true that some graders may have silly criteria like 2 pages = chance for a 12.</p>
<p>Tsenguun:
Your intro is pretty nifty, although you could expand more upon the quote. Maybe add some more universal analysis (but don't just say "everyone in the world" that's a bit extreme).
Do not say "Let me give you...". The same applies for things like "What I am going to write about today....". There are numerous grammatical errors (ex. "was is intelligent"). And style-wise, you usually don't want to use exclamation marks, especially three of them.</p>
<p>Both of your examples need a lot of more analysis. I feel like you're just telling me a story. Tell me why that story is important, how your mother truly sacrificed, why kamikazes/nationalism is necessary (I guess thats what you're trying to say).</p>
<p>Granted you are a non-native speaker, but your inability to articulate your thoughts in proper English will definitely bring you down in the grading process. At this point I'd recommend working on idioms and grammar more than the critical thinking part (because I'm sure you can analyze intelligently, its just the language barrier that is preventing you from expressing that analysis). I'm not sure what SAT graders would give your essay - but it'd be in the lower half of the rubric.</p>
<p>Thanks for your help! I'll try to make it better.</p>
<p>Hey guys I need help on the essays in regards to which examples I should use. I plan on using one personal, one from Great Gatsby and historical one. But that's about it, do u guys have any suggestions on possible topic examples?</p>
<p>I want some advices on choosing examples, too!!!</p>
<p>farrct, u cant just say "oh i am gonna use this, this and this example for the essay"</p>
<p>sometimes ,depending on the prompt, you have to choose the best examples to use. Great Gatsby cannot be applied everywhere. Defenitely consider literature examples but dont pick out a book already. </p>
<p>if you dont know what the test will ask you, then dont focus your energy on one aspect.</p>
<p>tsengun- your articulation is your essay needs work. i can see that you are non-native speaker. your best bet is to study idioms and phrases. but if you dont have enough time then try this. write 2 whole pages in the time limit. dont use personal example. use a literature one and possibly a current event/history example. write neatly also. the reason is that personal examples, unless they are fabulous, do not impress readers. literature helps because it shows that you are insightful. history and current events are greatest in my opinion. you cant go wrong with those two.</p>
<p>thanks!!! 1</p>
<p>Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one's thought or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse</p>
<p>Assignment: Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? blah blah blah</p>
<p>(starts here)Nowadays, having a privacy is a bid deal for everyone. as the technology is developing at its highest speed, the means of privacy invasion is also getting more ...........
If wanted, all of our everyday life could be screened on Tv's or on the Internet, to which everyone has an access. So it reminds me of Jimmy Carey's "Truman show".</p>
<p>Despite that, from the movie I've recently, I saw a clear example of privacy invasion problem. The movie was about a famous young actor, who lived with his little boy and lovely wife, is suffering from the paparazzis and trying to protect his family. He did best in making more of an effort to keep his family private, preventing his family life from becoming "Big brothers" or something.</p>
<p>This kind of things happen a lot today, especially it's a headache to the celebrities who want to live in peace, just like ordinary people. unfortunately, people won't let them.
since everyone has a secret, i'm wondering why not legislating a new law about that? i'm not sure. if there's, why is it so useless?</p>
<p>today's society requires people keep their things private. showing someone your credit card number could totally make you lose a big fortune. at least, having a secret makes one more interesting than those who have nothing to show and share. that's why we all like mysterious movies and that's why we're afraid of or interested in someone like ...... (couldn't find an example)</p>
<p>(conclusion) so if one doesn't want trouble, burden, they have to make things private. it's not their wish, but it's the order of current society. then we'll be able to live a safer and more peaceful life, as we wished.</p>
<p>I really like this one. i wish i could write like him/her</p>
<p>Sample Essay - Score of 5</p>
<p>People no longer respect the privacy of others or of themselves. This is evident through the exposure of famous peoples’ lives, the “showing off” of possessions and sex appeal, and pornography. Society should learn to respect the privacy of others despite the urge to get involved.</p>
<p>One of the most common places privacy is violated is among famous or upper class groups. The reason society feels a need to know everything that goes on in a famous person’s life is because of jealousy. People constantly remind the rich and the famous that their lives are not “perfect.” For instance, when Brittany Speare's married her limosine driver and then divorced him eight hours later, everyone read it in the tabloids, newspapers, saw it on the television and heard of it on the radio. Another reason why such people are constant victims of over exposure is because the media takes advantage of certain situations in order to increase their ratings and profit.</p>
<p>A popular practice, especially found in the United States and European countries, is the “showing” off of possessions. People want the world to know that they have money and own an Escalade or Rolls Royce. MTV has a show called CRIBS, which shows the audience the interior and exterior of rich multi-million dollar homes of famous musical artists. Also, the “showing” off of bodies and the use of sex appeal has become almost a necessity in the fashion business. Women and men completely expose their bodies in an effort to make money and become famous. This has a negative effect on society because it leads to a decline in self confidence and people, especially young teen girls, in an attempt to look like super models, starve themselves.</p>
<p>Pornography is another aspect of life that should be private. Sex is a sacred act that is shared between a man and a woman yet people, such as Paris Hilton, have violated and abused it. This brings the idea that sex sells.</p>
<p>Society should not overexpose their bodies, money, or the private lives of others. This could help decrease the amount of crimes, teen pregnancies, and identity theft.</p>