<p>Right now, at Exeter, the substance abuse is situated in one dorm. The headmaster did have to send an email to parents because of the increase in drug use at Exeter this year. However, the statistic going around is that 98% of the school has never tried pot.</p>
<p>Last night or night before?, CBS news aired a spot on Substance Abuse interviewing teens in Los Angeles. SA is up, up and up in schools these days. Yes, it appears that BS is not immune. I don’t think the prevalence is any less in BS than in PS as some might suggest. At any rate, something us parents need to be aware of and again although I think some parents dissent, I think the BSs should have some education component at Orientation on SA, heightening awareness for students and what can be done about it, in addition to any honor code violations. It appears SA among teens is on the rise and I believe it needs to be addressed. Better to be proactive than playing catch-up as many of these BSs appear to be doing. Just my two cents.</p>
<p>Boarding schools are constantly educating about substance abuse. I’d say they hear the message more frequently than most would at home.</p>
<p>There is much more pressure on kids today to be a “success”. We, as parents, need to be careful how we define success for our children. Given the comments I’ve seen on this forum overly focusing on admittance to Ivy league colleges with acceptance rates of 6-9% (and actually much lower for unhooked candidates) , I guess it doesn’t surprise me that a minority seek an outlet through drugs/alcohol. The majority that don’t deserve commending.</p>
<p>In post #21, Erlanger wrote: “Praise and remind your kids who are following the rules how much you appreciate their good judgment. We tend to make noise when something goes wrong, but not so much when things are quiet.” I thought this was a wonderful comment and sat down with my own child and let her know how much I do truly appreciate her wisdom in this area.</p>
<p>^^creative1, I used to hold the view that BS students use D&A out of the pressure to excel. Then I learned on this forum mostly from the current students that it’s not always the case - as a matter of fact, according to some it’s not even a main reason. It seems some of the teenagers nowadays don’t believe any longer that drugs (marijuna in particular) are bad either to their health or as a social stigma. They simply want to experiment or have fun with them. The “lectures” from adults around them don’t seem to work that well. The contraversies over marijuna use in this country and the buzz for legalizing it in certain countries or states are not helping. It is a true challenge to the schools as well as to families. We tend to think smart kids going to acadmic rigorous schools are “good” kids while in fact they are not always good in ways we think they should be.</p>
<p>I think it’s worth highlighting to the kids that they have chosen their school and agreed to abide by its rules at the outset. Those rules are part of the “deal.” There are plenty of examples of people who have experienced severe consequences as a result of not holding to their end of the agreement with regard to substance abuse.</p>
<p>FWIW, I am not an advocate of the ‘one strike’ policy. Too many teenagers make a mistake due to their very poorly wired frontal lobe. I don’t believe that the one strike policy helps to educate them or ‘reform’ them. </p>
<p>I believe schools should have
- education and support
- a sanctuary policy
- second chances - that involve counseling and a strong support network</p>
<p>Many schools already have all of those in place.</p>
<p>I’m in agreement with the idea that you have to let them out of the nest - we all just hope that we have established enough communication, and set good enough examples ourselves, that they’re equipped to fly on their own. </p>
<p>Having watched one of my kids’ classes spiral downward in a fancy day school (at least 4 10th grade students going to the emergency room to have their stomachs pumped out after parties, reports from the 8th grade of some substance abuse going on when parents are at the other end of the house), I don’t think keeping them home will isolate them from the problem. </p>
<p>The thing that hit me so hard about that situation was that the parents were wringing their hands and looking for ways to wave a magic wand and make it all better again - they know it isn’t good for the kids, but they might not have been ready to enforce the consequences, or change their own habits (children of the 70s that we are). </p>
<p>I take the point that its everywhere. It was, it is, and it probably always will be. What I do think, based on having seen what happens at day school vs boarding school, is that the boarding schools seem to be a bit more confident in their requests for behavior, and are more willing to enforce consequences. That may not help the person getting put on probation, or getting bounced out - but it sure helps the rest of them by showing that there is a price to behavior. And it may help the kid getting bounced as well by showing him/her what the end of the road might look like. </p>
<p>I suspect that many of us hope that our kids will not repeat our own mistakes. Some of us may have used our own experience as a “don’t do this, it didn’t work” conversation with the kids, some of us keep it to ourselves. But whatever - we can be there for them, and try to show them that there is fun to be had without trashing ourselves. And then hope for the best, and pick up the pieces if we need to.</p>
<p>Nice post, ssacd–thanks.</p>