I am sophomore soon to be junior in my third year of college and I am not having fun and feeling both depressed and bored
Besides struggling with my engineering degree, which led me to switch my major to supply chain management, which is so far going well, I am also having a miserable time at college. I go to the University of Michigan Dearborn and unlike UofM Ann Arbor, Dearborn is much quieter and less active. For one the student life is pretty miserable. There is not much in terms of partying or activities that one can expect and that is a bit disappointing. On top of that, Dearborn is mostly a commuter school, as a good number of the students I met there were already married or had kids, and had come to study as well, meaning social life is pretty forgettable. I also live at home, as the dorms there, from what I heard and read on Google, are in bad shape and way too expensive.
To top it all off, I have not made any new friends during my past 3 years at college. The only friends I have been able to make are my high school friends, but the only reason is simply that no one is interested to communicate socially at Dearborn and also I have had a struggle with communicating with people in the past, leading to many lonely occasions.
Whenever I look at social media and see other people having fun, partying, drinking, or doing some interesting activity, it makes me depressed. I feel that much of this is my fault, as I have not done enough to improve myself, yet the University itself is another issue, as there is not much of a social life there. I guess what I am trying to say to anyone reading this is what should I do to make up these last two years of college I have left before graduating.
For many or most of us, university is really not the best part of our life. For many students the four years of undergraduate university are years of hard academic study and social challenge. What you are describing is not uncommon.
Some of those students who are drinking and partying and having fun are just faking it. Some are going to drop out due to too much drinking and partying and not enough studying.
As @yourmomma has sort of said, you would be better off if you can get yourself involved in a club or two. Intramural sports can also provide a break from studying. You also might want to talk to the counseling service at your school. One advantage that they have is that they will know about activities that are available at your school.
You are more than half-way through. It’s an amazing gift to be able to afford a four year college education in our country. That’s what you are doing, getting an education. The other stuff is just frosting, may or may not be real when you look at images. Seriously, do you really want your four years of college to be “the best years of your life”? If you’re lucky enough to live a long life there are going a lot of years to come after the age of 22 or 23, you really want some of those best years to be years yet to come. Don’t blame your school, you are getting what you went there for. If you want to have more friends and more fun, change the way you are thinking about it and change what you are doing to make it different. That’s the part that’s in your control.
I sympathize with you OP. Making friends at a commuter school is difficult. A few ideas:
-Study abroad/exchange at another university in the US. A change of scenery.
-an off campus job. I’m not BFFs with my coworkers and they’re all older than I am, but I do enjoy talking to them nonetheless.
-an on campus job/internship. same as above. might not make BFFs instantly but it gives you some connection.
-research…special projects…academic opportunities? talk to your academic advisor and see how they can help you have a solid educational experience.
-see how you can graduate ASAP. you’re unhappy, why drag it out?
but really, college is what you make it. You could be miserable at Harvard, you could hate Ann Arbor. go out there and make a good experience. A
Thank you everyone, for sharing your opinion. It really means a lot knowing how much you all understand and your advice is really useful. I have actually started joining some clubs at my college and I have been doing some internships and volunteer work to keep myself useful. Hopefully, my social skills do improve and I do continue to make progress with my degree which has started to become a little bit more successful. Wish me luck.
Write down all the pros and cons of where you are presently in this dilemma and consider your possibilities.
Make a chart with columns and start listing pros and cons of your options.
Should you transfer?
Stay put?
For example:
Cons:
Live at home.
Commuter school.
Students older.
No social life.
Pros:
Saving money at home? (do the math–it’s not always cheaper)
Like curriculum?
What happens if you transfer?
Better social life?
More independence?
Doing this as an exercise will help solidify the path you should take.
Most college students actually have this experience, or one close to yours. For what it’s worth, the experience of going away and living on-campus in residence halls is one that only a small percentage of college students actually have. Most college students live at or near home and commute to a campus to finish their bachelor’s degree. There’s nothing wrong with that.
The point, though, is that you don’t have to live a stereotypical residential student’s lifestyle to make friends and have a good time. My sister was a commuter student in college who lived with our parents, and my brother didn’t attend college at all, and both of them partied their way through a significant portion of their 20s Certainly Dearborn and the surrounding area has other young adults, and certainly UM-Dearborn has to have some other students who are closer in age to you that you could hang out with.
What’s wrong with hanging out with your high school friends? If they are still good friends and you have shared/similar interests, why not hang out with them? There’s nothing wrong or shameful about continuing friendships you’ve established before college. That’s one of the benefits of attending college close to home.
Don’t feel like you have to “make up” for the prior 2.5-3 years. Decide how you want to live your life going forward. The past is, at the moment, irrelevant - you have to decide what you want your social life to look like, and think about the steps you can take to get it there.
Certainly Dearborn and the surrounding area has other young adults, and certainly UM-Dearborn has to have some other students who are closer in age to you that you could hang out with.