<p>I think anger is part of any mourning process. Some people need to go through all the steps to move on. The key is to actually GO THROUGH the steps and do the moving on. </p>
<p>Redirecting the anger and frustration at the college or an anonymous selection committee is preferable to dissecting the worthiness of that quiet kid in 3rd period English who did get a spot at the college that rejected or WL your child. If that kid didn’t get accepted, it doesn’t automatically follow that your child would have been, so treating him/her like s/he stole your child’s spot is not attractive. I read a post recently where a kids’ peers were telling him that his acceptance to the college they didn’t get into was one of the “random” admissions the school blindly offered and didn’t mean he deserved it. That kind of behavior is reprehensible. </p>
<p>I say this tongue in cheek. One could always be mad at CC for giving you the idea to apply to the stupid institution. Until you started reading this websight going to XXX State University in your state seemed like a pretty good idea. Instead you applied to all the Ivy’s, Stanford, MIT and Duke, Vanderbuilt as matches and UVA and UMich. as safeties (they’re publics). If your smart that’s where you HAVE to go. </p>
<p>I used to tell people that my law school admission was the result of the institution’s desire to establish a control group. Unfortunately, my law alma mater has never told me whether that experiment was successful. </p>
<p>Better yet, the kid could say “The mere fact you’re exhibiting such bitterness and lacking in basic self-control and social graces shows the adcoms made the correct decision”. </p>
<p>I’ve seen HS friends use a variant of that theme against the jerky contingent who slagged on them for "taking their “well-deserved place away.” </p>
<p>And when they did…the rest of us who were friends of the slagged on kid would be applauding him/her and laughing at the ones doing the slagging. </p>
<p>Personally, when I was rejected, I took the route of quietly thinking “Those adcoms/school just don’t know what they’re missing” and moved on. </p>
<p>I’m going to revive this very valuable thread to say that I’m mad at Tufts.</p>
<p>And who in their right mind selects as their campus mascot an elephant who died a horrible death after being struck by a train? (And then stuffs and preserves its carcass for decades???)</p>
<p>My D was mad at the student who has below average credential in the class but admitted to Stanford with quadruple legacy when he told everyone he might decline the offer.</p>
<p>^^^ Please, please, please don’t use this thread to cast aspersions the students who were admitted, however much a travesty you deem it to be.</p>
<p>Blame instead the myopic admissions officers who failed to recognize our own precious snowflakes’ indisputable (but perhaps too well-hidden?) superiority.</p>
<p>Years ago, my D got turned down by the stupid mascot school. she ended up at a safety-ish school, not happy there, applied to three really good schools as a transfer, including the stupid mascot school, was accepted by all three, and happily rejected the school that had rejected her, in favor of another. I sometimes wonder if she would have gone there if the others had not accepted her. I think she would have; it is, seriously, a fine school. even if the mascot is stupid. :)</p>
<p>Ha, I remember seeing the stuffed version of Jumbo when I was applying to colleges! Dodgersmom, I can’t be mad at Tufts as S2 was one of those less than perfect candidates they let in over kids with better grades and scores, but I am still mad at MIT! (For hiring a head of the admissions office without vetting her credentials, not for rejecting my special snowflake.) :D</p>
<p>I’m not mad at anyone, but my kids were fortunate to be admitted to their top choices, so I have that luxury.</p>
<p>This might belong on another thread (the one about parents going crazy), but we have become aware of some folks who have violated ED agreements. This has not been through rumors, or secondhand information, but the parties who did this (students and parents) actually volunteered the information to us. In one case, the student failed to withdraw other apps and in the other case, the ED was used to hold a place in a good school in case the student did not get into his first choice. In neither case were finances an issue, and both students and parents were aware that the agreement was violated, but basically didn’t care. I have lost all respect for these people.</p>
<p>Check the college bookstore of that oh-so-elite college that rejected your precious snowflake. If that really cute bow tie with the college logo (or, ahem, crest of arms) is imported from England and costs more than $80 . . . well, thank your lucky stars and move on!</p>
<p>“Mascot” is an official category in D’s college rating scoresheet. (She’s sort of scary organized when it comes to this stuff.) So far Rice and UAB got extra points for a cool mascots. Vanderbilt had a point taken off for theirs. (Take that, Commodore!) And we both agreed that NU should ditch Willie the Wildcat and go back to being “The Fighting Methodists!” </p>
<p>"Number 0. You shouldn’t be mad at anyone or anything. "
I am not Buddha. Honestly. I have right to ■■■■■ around. </p>
<p>"It’s like being mad because you bought a lottery ticket and didn’t win "
It is not a lottery ticket. It was lots of hard work. Plus, these colleges claim that they evaluate student “holistically”, as if they are playing God. </p>
<p>"5. I think the most important thing is to recognize your kid isn’t perfect. "
No, my kid IS PERFECT.</p>
<p>“9) God”
Really? I’ll thank God that my child won’t go to this ridiculous college that rejects perfect student and takes some @@@ instead.</p>
<p>“10) My mother.”
OK, we live in different universes.</p>
<p>“9. You’re not special.”
May be YOU are not special, I don’t know. MY child is special.</p>
<p>"8. If your kid is applying to schools with acceptance rates of 10%, applying to 10 of them doesn’t mean that your kid is 10 times 10, i.e. 100% sure of getting into at least one of them. "
Because these adcoms are silly herd animals. </p>
<p>“7. Recognize that being in the top 1% on the SAT doesn’t automatically translate into an acceptance a school with a <10% admit rate. That school could fill a class with one-percenters, but wisely, they choose not to because that would be pretty boring.”
There is nothing boring about admitting smart kids. Unfortunately, US colleges have to admit a percentage of dumb kids as well, it’s called diversity of abilities. You just have to get used to it; it’s like bad weather. This world is not perfect.</p>
<p>“But my central advice is to take the position that anybody who rejected your kid is nuts and just doesn’t get it.”
YES. +10000000!</p>
<p>But then if people don’t like how US colleges handle admissions maybe they could be mad at their parents who pushed them to apply to US colleges rather than those in some other country which are obviously better in every way.</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, US colleges have to admit a percentage of dumb kids as well, it’s called diversity of abilities.”</p>
<p>And yet you’re still salivating over the thought of your daughter joining them. This is why no one believes that you really think this. If you REALLY thought elite schools were admitting tons of “dumb kids,” then you’d find where the rejected smart kids were going and have your daughter apply there. But, you’re not, because you inhabit some world where there are a handful of schools that are “prestigious” and the rest are chopped liver.</p>