<p>I don't dislike cities because I think of them as especially scary or dangerous. I don't like them because there are too many people, they're loud and somewhat dirty. I like green and lots of open space. That to me is more important then the good stuff (entertainment, diversity, food, etc.) but I have no quibble that others prioritize differently. I think it's wrong to think that when people say they don't like cities to assume that it's all about danger and lack of security. My daughter took a bus to NYC a couple of weeks ago, a subway across town and then a train to Boston. I wasn't worried about her and she had a great time, that doesn't mean that she wants to live in a city.</p>
<p>I suspect that in many California homes, the prospective college student brings up the possibility of going to college in a distant part of the country and the parent discourages it, saying "Why would you need to do that when we have so many good choices right here?"</p>
<p>Then, if the student suggests a particular school in the East, the parent is likely to counter by suggesting a similar California school. The kid says MIT, the parent says Harvey Mudd or Caltech. The kid says Amherst, the parent says Pomona. The kid says Yale, the parent says Stanford. And so on.</p>
<p>But your daughter chose a truly unique school -- one that has no true equivalent in California or, really, anywhere else. And you have allowed her to go there. Your family's choices are therefore a threat to those families who were more restrictive. Without meaning to, you have implied that their choices may have been wrong. This could account for some of the negative reactions.</p>
<p>I live in the Washington, DC area. It isn't at all unusual for kids from this area to go north to such places as Massachusetts or New York for college. Lots of kids apply to NYU, and a few lucky ones get in. I don't hear the negative reactions to NYU here that you're hearing in California, perhaps because parents here don't generally discourage their kids from applying to New York schools.</p>
<p>Put it down to the increasing self-righteousness of Americans. You make polite conversation and they feel entitled to criticize decisions which are none of their business. It's snarky and rude behavior, period.</p>
<p>I went to school in Manhattan in the early 80s. My parents cried their eyes out at the airport. They thought I was making a huge mistake. They didn't know beans. I ended up studying under and working for the leading architects of our time. That experience STILL brings MAJOR work into my office--some twenty five years later--in a foreign country, no less. </p>
<p>The twelve years I spent working in the midwest? Makes the prospective client's eyes glaze over.</p>
<p>The saying is true: if you can make it at the top of the game in New York, you can make it anywhere. </p>
<p>Not to mention, I had the time of my life living there as a poor student/apprentice.</p>
<p>We had strangers come up to us to see if we needed directions when we were exploring the neighborhood around NYU.</p>
<p>We live in CA but I wouldn't bat an eye if my son chose to go to NYU (assuming of course that he was admitted!) I think your daughter is going to have the experience of a lifetime. After cheers post I almost broke into song LOL</p>
<p>New York! New York!</p>
<p>Cheers, does every Tom, Dick and Harry have to feel obligated to validate your choice? While I agree that saying something negative unless asked to comment is rude, I would feel no need to praise it either. A simple -"That's nice" would suffice.<br>
Also I think Chicago was considered as architecturally significant as NY 20-30 years ago. Maybe you were in Cleveland.</p>
<p>Huh? Since when does a polite response have to be positive or negative? It's precisely the busy-bodiedness of 'validating' that is wrong. </p>
<p>If a decent response deserts you, you can follow the royal protocol, pick up the last bit of what the person has said and ask a question. "Where is little Sally going to college?" "She is going to Thick Students University" "Oh! I have visited Thick Student's town so many times! Do you think she will enjoy university?"</p>
<p>Sorry, Chicago architecture hasn't been significant since the early 20th century and the days of Sullivan and Wright. On the world stage, Chicago architecture has the same impact as Cleveland architecture.</p>
<p>OOOO you reminded me that guess what...A giant world wide study was done to see where the most polite and impolite cities were in the world...guess what the most polite city was...New York City!! It suprised the people who did the study but it was what they got as the answer to their question. (They did a ton of random experiments in a ton of cities).</p>
<p>Where are you now Cheers? Congrats on the thriving business and great job.</p>
<p>The people in NYC are awesome. S goes to Kings Point and when he's in Manhattan in his uniform, total strangers will come up and offer to buy him and his buddies lunch or dinner, just to say thanks for serving.</p>
<p>As for anoying comments -- "how could you let your S go to a military academy?", always irks me</p>
<p>"Put it down to the increasing self-righteousness of Americans. You make polite conversation and they feel entitled to criticize decisions which are none of their business. It's snarky and rude behavior, period."</p>
<p>But does that not cut both ways? Are people who genuinely dislike NYC or NYU have to "embellish" their commentaries to make them "acceptable?" </p>
<p>While I would never think about making a derogatory or pejorative remark about someone's choice, and simply say something such "What a great school", I find it equally snarky to openly question WHY people might have a different opinion. The tone of this thread seems to be implying that only a fool could dislike the "center of the world."</p>
<p>Why would a parent let their kid go to a college -</p>
<ul>
<li>in a big and dangerous city?</li>
<li>in a small town where there's nothing to do?</li>
<li>so far away from home?</li>
<li>so close to home?</li>
<li>in the midwest where there's no ocean?</li>
<li>in the west coast where all they do is surf?</li>
<li>at a large campus where they're just a number?</li>
<li>at a small campus that doesn't have the major and research opportunities?</li>
<li>at a no-name college?</li>
<li>at an elite college?</li>
<li>at an expensive college?</li>
<li>at a state college?</li>
<li>at a private college?</li>
<li>at a community college?</li>
<li>etc.</li>
<li>etc.</li>
</ul>
<p>No xigs, you missed my point. Certainly, if someone asks, "Do you like NYU or New York?", or, "What do you think of NYU?" that can be viewed as an invitation to let loose whatever view arrives onthe tongue. Love New York, hate New York, that is not the question. I could care less if people hate New York or hate cities.</p>
<p>The question is, if one is approached for a polite, passing conversation, offering proper, innocuous questions such as: "Where is your little Sally going to college?" it is inappropriate to follow with an overly strident or 'validating' opinion--in either direction. Doing so is a measure of arrogance and rgitheousness. As the strident opinion is unsolicited and probably unwanted, it would be downright RUDE to deliver a slagging. I'm surprised that you would not see the difference in circumstances, monsieur xiggi.</p>
<p>I agree, barrons. One need not offer false praise.</p>
<p>Also, xiggi, I refuse your snarky label, thanks so much. ;) I am not snarky by your definition because I do not fear a different opinion. If it is a solicited opinion or part of a true conversation or discussion--long live the differences. Be as strident as you please.</p>
<p>I think once you make a post in a public forum, it becomes fair game. To expect otherwise borders on naivete.</p>
<p>Just take the comments, "offensive" or otherwise, in stride and move on. Or one can spend time engaging in nitpicking but nobody is going to budge.</p>
<p>To OP: I haven't read through this entire thread but I disagree with the naysayers in CA completely. NYC is a fabulous place to live, especially for young people. I think EVERYONE should live in New York when they're young. It's got everything: food, fashion, finance, great art, architecture, peole from all over the world. NYU's location in The Village is ideal as many of the neighbors are young and there are great music clubs, etc.</p>
<p>NYU has terrific programs. Many professionals who work in NY are connected to the university in some way. My daughter has performed in some graduate student films done by NYU students who have gone on to become professional directors. </p>
<p>I think your daughter will have a wonderful experience at NYU.</p>
<p>I lived in NY and attended school in Manhattan. Trust me: attending school in NY is a fabulous place to be. It is among the most interesting, vibrant cities in the world.</p>
<p>I do agree, however, that your daughter needs to be careful there. 99% of the time, there will be no problem. However, she needs to keep her eyes open for any problems and use common sense when walking around the city. She does need to be alert to her surroundings.</p>
<p>As far as NYU goes, it may be a bit pricey,but it is certainly a very fine school for most majors. I believe that she will get a top notch education if she doesn't mind attending such as huge school.</p>
<p>Madame Cheers, you really had to make a collosal effort to reach such
conclusion about what I POSTED. I may have missed your point, but did you REALLY read what I wrote, or just jumped at a few words or ... the ID of the messenger? </p>
<ol>
<li><p>Did I not write, "While I would never think about making a derogatory or pejorative remark about someone's choice, and simply say something such "What a great school""</p></li>
<li><p>Did I not write, "I find it equally snarky to openly question WHY people might have a different opinion."</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Tp paraphrase you, I'm surprised that you would not see what I addressed in my post: It was clearly spelled out in my last line starting with, "The tone of this thread ..." At no time did I endorse the notion that someone should be rude, or even offer a negative comment to the OP. See my point 1 for this.</p>
<p>
[quote]
And, of course, despite these risks, most students end up just fine (even if they do things that would turn our hair instantly grey if we had a hidden camera following them around).
[/quote]
LOL! I snorted my sweet tea on that one. </p>
<p>Oh, man, the Aries Family College Search. Random sampling:
-MIT: my top choice, 'rents all hated it. Mom thought I would leave a lesbian; Dad thought I would jump off something; M2 thought I would hate the atmosphere.
-Wellesley: Same reaction from Mom; Dad thought that an all-girls school would be an artificial environment; M2 loved the idea. I hated it when I toured.
-Dartmouth: fur flying on that one. Last bastion of male dominance!! Animal House!
-Amherst: Why would you apply there when you could apply to Williams?
-Yale: too far away (<3 hrs) and why there when there's Harvard?
-Princeton: "If you go to Princeton, you're figuring out how to get yourself there."</p>
<p>Um, yeah. You can't please everyone at any time. :)</p>
<p>To the original poster: My daughter and I have long stopped caring what other people say or think about my daughter's college choice. We <em>could</em> let ourselves get worked up everytime someone says to me, "She didn't get into a UC then?" or tells her "Do you realize how COLD it is there?" but why bother? I suspect that even if she was going to a UC, a school in a warm weather climate, or straight to Harvard graduate school, we'd still have folks eager to embarrass themselves by making dumb statements disguised as "advice." (Just read a few threads here if you want to see how prevalent this tendency can be ;) ) </p>
<p>In short, assuming your daughter and you did your homework, made an informed decision about what is right for her, and are happy with the choice, no one else's opinion really matters in the end. Period. So, don't worry, be happy. :)</p>
<p>Whoa xigs! I was pulling your chain...only. Relax dude.</p>
<p>Congratulations to your daughter!!</p>
<p>I grew up in NYC-- my parents (obviously) would have been thrilled for me to stay in the city for school. NYU has the best dorm security I've ever seen, incredible living quarters, and it's just in such a vibrant, young, happy place. Honestly, whenever I'm home, I'm always hanging out in the NYU area. If it's great for what she's studying, then it makes sense. I'm v. excited that she'll get to experience NYU and NYC, and that you get to visit her!</p>