<p>I was going to enter my gym through the main entrance when animal instinct took over. I knew something was wrong. It was my large torso, too wide to get through the door. </p>
<p>I calmed myself down thinking, i'd better be able to get into the gym. I went back to my car, reved up my engine, and drove through the door. The crash cleared 4 more feet in the entrance, wide enough for future visits to the gym, because I know i'd only be getting bigger by the second. </p>
<p>I lost control. I reved up the engine once more and ran over the people on the treadmills. All those doing curls I played bumper cars with, they didn't stand a chance. I saw my target, I drove to the squat rack. Parked my car on some pussy benching 400. I got out, and immediately loaded up 1000 lbs for warm ups. Not having enough 45 plates in the gym to suffice my ultimate animal needs, I went around collecting bodies, bodies ranging from 150 pound weaklings to 300 pound blobs. I stood them all in a line and threw an olympic bar like a javelin through their torsos, making a human shish-kebob weighing 3000 lbs. </p>
<p>I threw it up over my head, took a deep breath into my belly of human flesh and blood, and repped for 20. Then I siphoned some of my cars gasoline out onto the floor beneath the 3000 pound human squat bar, lit it up and cooked myself a well balanced animal meal. Some might call it murder, I just call it instinct.</p>