<p>It’s amazing how much perspective 20 or 30 years of life experience offers.</p>
<p>@drcharisma I don’t think it is a good idea to make oneself homeless and penniless to provide higher education for one’s child.</p>
<p>I have seen successful outcomes, where much investment was made putting a child through a private for 5 years at great expense, and the child ended up in a fabulous career. I have also seen unsuccessful outcomes, where a family went into a lot of debt for a top 20 school and the child ended up not using the degree at all, ultimately attending a trade school. I have also seen college graduates working retail. My conclusion is unless you have a quarter of a million dollars laying around, you need to be financially savvy about your college choices. The amount of sacrifice made is personal and will vary from household to household. In this house, we don’t wear Abercrombie and we don’t drive BMWs, and I’m pretty sure the kids will be educated at generic State U. Even though they’re brilliant. Even though they “deserve” better.</p>
<p>@drcharisma You are living in a very narrowly defined reality. The real world does not rotate in your little tunnel. Lots of incredibly talented kids do not have parents who can afford Harvard. Attending Harvard means 2 things, combination of talents to be admitted AND the ability to pay. </p>
<p>It is irrelevant what high school students think of the education at various schools. What matters is the view of employers and grad school committees. Believe it or not, most well-employed individuals do not have degrees from HYPMS. </p>
<p>FWIW, the course of your life is not dependent upon the name of the school on your diploma. Life is an ocean of opportunities, not amt of liquid that fills a silver spoon.</p>
<p>Oh, what the h***. You know what is really important to prospective employers, Dr, Charisma? Excellent writing skills and a command of grammatical rules:</p>
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<p>Attention to detail is good, too, especially when you’re trying to make a point about the value of education. </p>
<p>@scout59 I thought the same thing when I read the post, but since my own posts are riddled with errors on this forum bc you can’t correct them unless you have the time to read what you wrote immediately, I didnt find that part egregious. But the context…</p>
<p>^^ Yeah, I thought about letting it slide, too - but I guess all that talk about the amazing-ness of the ivies and the awfulness of, say, the University of Alabama finally overwhelmed me. It was the context that did it. </p>
<p>An employer in Utah looking to hire new college graduates is probably more likely to recruit at nearby Utah State than to make the trip to Harvard to recruit.</p>
<p>@3boystogo Yes, of course there is always a risk that a kid will burn out. But I just feel that it would be best if a parent could provide the best available opportunities for their child. Obviously, how a person utilizes his resources is entirely dependent on them. Your undergrad will follow you for the rest of your life; it will shape people’s perception of you. </p>
<p>@scout59 My apologies. I guess I did not double-check my post. </p>
<p>@Mom2aphysicsgeek When I called “University of Alabama” a “joke” school, I was just echoing what other people I know say about it. Nobody would be impressed if you go there. I am not disparaging the merits of an education at other undergraduate institutions. I am saying that going to a prestigious university will provide you with a GREAT stepping stone over other people. </p>
<p>“When I called “University of Alabama” a “joke” school, I was just echoing what other people I know say about it. Nobody would be impressed if you go there. I am not disparaging the merits of an education at other undergraduate institutions.” </p>
<p>@drcharisma, you are young so I am going to go easy here. Of <em>course</em> you are disparaging Bama here. Again.</p>
<p>Come back in about 20 years after you’ve lived in the workforce. And maybe re-read the OP’s story.</p>
<p>drcharisma- Since you consider it our parental duty to do whatever it takes to provide educational opportunities, even if it means selling the house, I would like to propose that if parents must render themselves homeless and penniless in order for their kids to not attend a “joke” college (your words ) then they shall move in with their students who will support them from then on. </p>
<p>@drcharisma It will only give you a great stepping stone if the people you have to worry about employing you or admitting you to grad school are limited to 'the people that you know." Students don’t have to impress friends or family. Students have to impress employers or grad school committees. Plenty of ways to do that. I’ll save my $$ and my house and let my ds do it all by himself on his own merit. And…he will. :)</p>
<p>ETA: More people are impressed by the self-made man than the entitled success story. There is a reason for that. My ds is attending on full-merit. His academic success is not slowing down. Where he lands at the end of this journey will belong entirely to him. And he will know that he didn’t devastate his family’s financial security in the process. </p>
<p>I worked with a guy who’d gone to Yale. He was a fun guy, but constantly talked about Yale, when he ‘lived in New Haven’, ‘The Games’ etc. I’d just laugh as I wasn’t that impressed. I liked him in spite of the fact that he was full of himself and we all played a game seeing how long it took him to mention something about Yale without directly saying ‘I went to Yale.’</p>
<p>He had the same job I had, and I didn’t go to Yale.</p>
<p>Here’s an opposite story-- I was a great high school student and I got into my (great) state flagship of UNC-Chapel Hill. I went without thinking too much–of course I would go there, it’s what everyone expected. The first thing they said at orientation was “you are the cream of the crop!” I remember looking around and feeling so false. Either I wasn’t the cream and everyone else was better than me or the President or whoever was running the orientation was kind of full of himself (and his school).</p>
<p>Four miserable years later I graduated (after changing my major 5 times) with something like a 2.6. I applied to 3 grad schools and surprisingly got into all of them. I chose the smallest department, at NCSU down the road. It wasn’t prestigious at all. But it was perfect for me. I loved the experience through and through.</p>
<p>When I look back, I think I shouldn’t have just gone to the best undergrad college I got in (back in those days we only applied to two!) I should have gone to a small LAC without a lot of social pressure, and maybe should have had a gap year to grow up a little.</p>
<p>School is ENTIRELY what you make of it. Name brand jeans aren’t always the most comfortable jeans and it’s even worse if they aren’t comfortable and you owe 100K on your credit card bill for some jeans you dread pulling on day after day. Try a couple of no-name brand on before you buy. They just might be a better fit.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone has grounds for calling a college a joke without attending it. Also, if a student thinks his or her college is a joke, it is also possible that he/she isn’t making the most of the opportunities there. A college might not be the best fit for a student , but it is probably rarely a “joke”. </p>
<p>The thing is, I know lots of Big 10 grads here in Chicago who live and die for their school/team. Every story is “back in Bloomington” or whatever, every scarf/mug/cufflink they own is maize and blue, etc. We hear the same obsession differently when it’s Yale and when it’s Ohio State.</p>
<p>Or the Aggies who can’t let it go. Or the 55 year old men who can re-live every moment of every football game at Notre Dame. Or the grown up’s who still hold grudges against the “opposing team”.</p>
<p>It’a amazing how many parents (and kids) devote their childhood to a sport, with the hope that they will one day land a scholarship. That’s the dream for so many, even those that take up an obscure sport because they think their odds will be better. Wow, did you hear Jimmy got a fencing scholarship at XYZ U? Awesome! </p>
<p>Why is a full scholarship for academics any less awesome?</p>
<p>I’m proud of my son, who has one of those full academic scholarships at a joke school. I’m also proud of the fact that he turned down admissions from other Ivy-caliber schools, even though we could afford them, to partake of all his school has to offer in addition to that scholarship. And of course I’m also proud of his 4.0 GPA in engineering, which ain’t exactly a disadvantage in the hiring process. And when people still question where he attends, I tell them he’s also captain of the volleyball team. That gets a Wow. Go figure.</p>
<p>drcharsim wrote “Seriously, the next four years of college will determine the direction of my life.” You are incorrect, it was the first 17 years of your life that determined your direction in your life. Based upon your posts, the direction that you are on is not a good one if you believe that only attending a “top” schools will give you the opportunity that you require to succeed in life and that parents should go into poverty to stroke one’s ego. </p>
<p>You will learn that success is in one’s own hands and that it is the result of hard work, dedication and many other more important factors than the name printed on one’s diploma.</p>
<p>" If two people apply to a job, and one is from Harvard, while the other is from Utah State, who do you think the employer would hire" - The one with the most relevant internship/co-op experience… which may (or may not) be easier to find as top of the class at Utah. </p>
<p>Stick around and keep reading, OP. You will probably realize, as most CC readers do, that Ivy is often not as big a deal as originally thought. (The main exception is except for lower/middle income families that will get a better financial aid package). </p>