<p>So, I'm a freshman at Yale, and I'm having a great time. But I have a girlfriend in Bowdoin College, a very good, small liberal arts college, and I want to be with her all the time. I'm thinking about transferring. Any thoughts on whether this is a good idea or not? Also, any thoughts on how I should go about doing this- ie, grades I would need, extra-curricular involvement, specifics I would need to find about Bowdoin that make it much more appealing to me than Yale (other than the fact that my girlfriend is there)?
Thanks for any help!</p>
<p>you shouldn’t transfer just because you want to be with your girlfriend. i know you have strong feelings for her, but what if you break up? you’re at yale - you’re getting an amazing education and you’ll have a lot more opportunities coming from there than you will from bowdoin. i think you should really think about this again.</p>
<p>i think it’s probably best that you not transfer. i know what it’s like to want to be around a loved one, but it’s very early still in your first year in college. you chose to go to yale for a reason and you have no good academic reason to transfer to bowdoin. as difficult as it is to be apart from your girlfriend, it should not prompt you to transfer. if this is a lasting love, you’ll be together after college. and if it’s fleeting, you may find yourself wondering why you left yale to begin with. i love bowdoin, but this doesn’t seem like a good reason to leave yale.</p>
<p>Very bad idea. Do not do it. If it is meant to be you’ll stay together anyway.</p>
<p>This could easily be the worst mistake you ever make if you do it.</p>
<p>I have a friend who transferred from Carnegie Mellon to a small, bad state school to be with his gf…they broke up 2 months later, and now he is stuck there. Yours is like that situation except Bowdoin is also a very good school.</p>
<p>There is no evidence, in all the annals of history, of someone transferring to a school because of a boy/girlfriend and seeing the relationship survive. It doesn’t work. It’s never worked.</p>
<p>If you’re having a great time at Yale, there’s no point in transferring to Bowdoin. If you and your girlfriend are meant to be, it’ll work out no matter how difficult it is now. The opportunities you’ll get from Yale are endless and nearly unparalleled anywhere else. No point in leaving if you’re happy there (minus the girlfriend issue).</p>
<p>If you two are really in love and plan on spending the rest of your lives together, she should WANT you to stay at Yale. It’s in her best interest ($$$).</p>
<p>Actually, what am I saying? You should definitely transfer. Free up more admission slots for us. :)</p>
<p>If she really cared for you, she would transfer to Yale. :D</p>
<p>Well, I see everyone has already spoken my opinion, but I’ll voice my concern anyway.</p>
<p>Prior to this month, I was going out with the same girl for the last four years straight (we broke up recently.) During this period, she lived in NC while I was in GA. Even though the long distance relationship was very strenuous, I made a conscious decision to never sacrifice my education for her, and I made sure to tell her that. I’ve always planned on transferring, although I was never quite sure exactly where I wanted to go, but now that I have applied to 4 great prospective schools, I’m glad I decided not to try to travel to be with her even though I loved her. Even if we were together now, I still wouldn’t give up any of these schools for her. </p>
<p>It sounds harsh, but that’s the way it has to be for me. Think about it like this: if you transfer to be with your girlfriend and you break up, you pretty much loose everything if you hate some aspects of that school. Inversely, if you don’t transfer and you don’t break up either, you’ll both benefit in the long run since you’ll receive a more prestigious education, which will most likely allot you greater opportunities in your career field (This proposition sounds eerily similar to Pascal’s wager for some reason). If you choose this method, you’ll both prosper from the decision since you can both share the fruits of your labor if you ever get married. And of course, if you don’t transfer but you do break up, the only thing that you’ll lose is her; your level of education remains in tact </p>
<p>Trust me, DO NOT TRANSFER FOR HER!</p>
<p>CornellPerson - Tell your friend to pick up the telephone and call his old university and ask what he would have to do to be readmitted. If he is in good academic standing, they probably will be happy to have him come back.</p>
<p>OP - There are three reasons for transferring from one 4-year college/university to another:
- School A has become unaffordable, and you have to find a cheaper place.
- School A doesn’t offer the major that you want (or the department is severely lacking there compared to other institutions).
- Every morning that you wake up at School A you just plain hate the place more than the day before, and you’d rather be anywhere but there.</p>
<p>Please note that “Love interest attends another school” is not on the list.</p>
<p>If your attachment to this person survives until the end of this school year, spend some time next year figuring out how to arrange a Junior Year at the other school, or at a school near it. Most colleges/universities will let you do this provided you develop a formal plan of the courses that you will take at the other place. Arranging to spend a Junior Year Abroad in the same program as your love interest might be possible as well.</p>
<p>Back in the last century, my classmate’s long-term beau attended a different famous-name LAC than we did. She spent her junior year on his campus, and returned to our LAC the next fall ready for Senior Year. They were married a month after graduation. Thirty plus years and four kids later, they are still married. Long distance relationships can work. Give yourselves a fair chance.</p>
<p>Don’t transfer. You feel lonely now but you will see her over winter break for several weeks and the summer break is 3-4 mos long. My husband and I were apart for med school for 4 years, we are happily married for 23yrs now. You are young. Talk to your parents and donot transfer just for the girlfriend. It’s very important you 2 mature and see where life takes you. Enjoy Yale to the fullest and she should do the same at Bowdoin.</p>
<p>i am a potential transfer student and im telling you NOT to transfer. i am a girl and im telling you . NO GIRL would appreciate her guy transferring from one of the best places in the world. at least not a smart girl. if shes smart, she wont like you transferring. and if shes dumb, well, ur too smart for her (i mean,ur at yale how idiotic could u probably be) xx</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses. I will of course consider this long and hard</p>
<p>^^^Talk to your girl about it and provide her with a list of reasons why this decision may be a huge detriment in the long-run. See what she thinks.</p>
<p>thanks east89, but just to clarify- this is not something my girlfriend asked me to do for her. This idea is my own initiative and she has even expressed similar concerns to some that were voiced above. In other words, I don’t need to tell her the many reasons I probably shouldn’t transfer; rather, I am trying to find reasons for why I should. At this point, I’m not sure there’s much I can do, but that’s life.</p>
<p>Don’t talk to her about it. Really, don’t even think about transfering to ANY school because someone else is there. It puts too much pressure on the relationship and it will ruin your love for each other. (I married my HS sweetheart long ago, so this is not that I don’t understand how you feel, as we went to different schools)</p>
<ol>
<li><p>If you transfer to be with her, you will have unrealistic expectations that SHE make you happy which no one person can fulfill.</p></li>
<li><p>If you are not happy all the time, you will resent her and it will grow into something worse than if you weren’t happy sometimes (inevitable, btw) later on in life or when you are together without you giving up something.</p></li>
<li><p>Consciously or unconsciously, you will feel you gave something up for her, which will never be repaid…I know we all try to avoid relationship math, but it’s not really possible.</p></li>
<li><p>She will feel too much pressure to make sure you are happy and may come to really resent that pressure AND you.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>It’s not the same as choosing a job transfer, later on, or picking a city to live in with opportunities for you because she is there, it is giving up an opportunity you worked your whole life for and something that can’t actually be replaced (like a good job) with something else. Bowdin is a fantastic school, but it’s not Yale. I think this is just too much to ask of one person. You can’t expect her to be able to live up to that kind of thing. It’s not fair.</p>
<p>In few words, why you shouldn’t.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>If she truly loves you, she’ll make it work, and you can wait for eachother.</p></li>
<li><p>You will be dumping an unbelievably great school, something you WILL regret down the road.</p></li>
<li><p>If you end up breaking up with her, you’ll REALLY regret this decision.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Stay at Yale, try your best to keep the long distance relationship, if it’s meant to be, you’ll work through it.</p>
<p>I DO understand your pain, and I wish you the best of luck getting this worked out.</p>
<p>If I were you, I’d apply just to see what happens and then make my decision.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>So, assuming I had other good reasons to want to transfer, what kind of GPA/other stats would I need? Thanks for any responses</p>