Hi! My daughter is a current 9th grader at a school that I really thought would be a perfect fit for her. It’s small, all girls, has an equestrian program, has a very nurturing environment-checked all my boxes.
She is feeling like the classes are not challenging enough and wants a more rigorous academic environment. She wants to apply to schools like Andover, Choate, etc as a sophomore.
I know these schools are already super hard to get into even as a 9th grader. How much are chances reduced when applying bad a 10th grader?
Her grades are excellent, she has a decent list of extracurriculars, she will likely interview well. She plans to take SSATs soon, hopefully will score well. I just don’t know how to manage expectations. Does admission as a 10th grader depend upon some current 9th graders leaving? Are we talking about less than a handful of open spots being available?
All these schools have places for more 10th graders although transfers from other schools aren’t a targeted demographic. With that said, it can be done - and is, generally for a good reason. Schools want to see a compelling reason for the transfer because a kid that is unhappy in one environment is often a kid who will be unhappy everywhere, and they want to be sure they aren’t going to be the next ones with a target on their back!
I do think that it may be too early for your D to be writing off her current school. Some places start gently to be sure that academics aren’t a source of stress for kids who are living away from home for the first time. Other schools, particularly ones that have kids from a variety of backgrounds, have “one size fits all” classes for several subjects freshman year to get everyone on equal footing. , For a student coming out of a good middle school, it can feel pretty easy as their preparation was so good that they are ready to move ahead. Perhaps the very bright kid from an underperforming middle school feels differently. She should definitely talk to her advisor as they may be able to change a few placements to amp up the rigor.
I’m sorry, though, as it’s hard when a well thought out plan doesn’t unfold as hoped and your kid is unhappy.
Thanks for that feedback. Yeah, I do keep telling her to give it time. I expect the pace and intensity level will ramp up. She has talked to her advisor who said the same thing!
I really love the school for her, and I keep reminding her of all the reasons she chose this school. Maybe it will turn around for her. She is genuinely happy there with everything except the academics.
In the meantime, I will support her exploring these other options.
I agree; freshman fall, especially, is often intentionally made very easy (with some schools even having P/F policies) to allow students to adapt more smoothly.
I’ve actually often been told that at my school, the most difficult transition academics-wise is freshman to sophomore year; I can personally attest that the change in workload was very intense. While that would be too late to transfer (unless you want to be a repeat sophomore or new junior, which are both non-optimal), I would at least wait for freshman winter. They always have until April 10 to decide if they’ll transfer or not.
By the way, at least at my school, new sophomores (who make up ~1/3 of the graduating class) have a slightly higher admit rate. That might be due to selection bias. Also, transfers between boarding schools are common enough IME that your child won’t be seen as an anomaly.
Junior year can be likened to hell at high academic schools. Is that really want she wants? I’m talking hell as referenced by kids who get perfect scores on act/sat at their first sitting. Who have been top of the class as freshman and sophomores. It is really intense. Have a serious discussion with your daughter. Is that really what she wants?
@jessvig
She can absolutely transfer in 10th grade, and many schools have slots specifically allocated for that situation because junior boarding schools go until 9th grade. So she would absolutely NOT be alone.
I am happy to talk with you via DM if you want to connect with someone whose kid did transfer after it became clear that the school where she was wasn’t a fit. (Spoiler: she left Andover because of the opposite reason: she was studying and doing nothing else, and she wasn’t happy.). There is a lot of gray space between a school that is not academically challenging enough, and the 4+ hours of daily homework that my daughter found herself doing her freshman year. And, to be clear, some kids LOVE the “grind” of that much homework! No hard feelings from our end that it wasn’t a fit for us. it may be just the place for your daughter! If she is looking for challenge that translates more to 2-3 hours of homework a night, and robust classes and plenty of challenge and engaged teachers, then I think that can be found at a LOT of places. (In fact, I may have a guess about where your daughter is because we’ve visited a LOT of schools – 25 ish? – over the 3 daughters of mine who applied to BS, and only a very small handful felt like they might not be as rigorous as we would like.).
anyway – DM me if you want to talk more specifics, and I’m happy to connect and share any experiences that might be helpful to you!
It’s also very much up to the student. I’ve personally really enjoyed my experience at a “grind” school, but it’s a pretty small demographic that such institutions are appropriate for—you need to make sure that you know what you’re getting into.
Chiming in to say I know of a student who transferred from a not very academic school into one of the HADES schools, where he then flourished. So it all depends on the kid.
We have fall family weekend starting tomorrow, so I will have a chance to really discuss with her advisor and teachers about the expected ramp up.
Regarding whether she is willing to give up equestrian….she says yes, but I’m not totally on board with her completely giving it up. It is her biggest outlet for stress relief and I think she would regret it.
I’ve started inquiring with some of the schools on her list about whether there is any ability to ride just once weekly on a weekend at least, and a couple have been very open to that, while some have basically said it’s a bad idea. So I will be suggesting she take those schools off her list.
Fyi Millbrook doesn’t have an equestrian program, but several very serious equestriennes attended. So kids do go there and ride. (Millbrook is a super horsey area).
We looked at schools that didn’t have equestrian programs and found that it would be very difficult to manage. Biggest question-how will the child get to the barn? Logistically riding once a week is difficult -you’d have to find a place that will let you ride a lesson horse or you’d have to leases which is a large financial commitment when you’re only riding once a week…
We did look into Millbrook and didn’t see how it could work.
My child came from a very competitive single sex independent school and I’ll admit that I thought the academics would be a little easier at Kent. But she’s in all advanced classes and this year is VERY challenged in addition to being challenged by extra curricular activities.
Agreeing with @katekara24 that pursuing equestrian activities outside school is likely more challenging than other activities, which can also be challenging.
Hi! Kent is actually a school that I am
Looking at now.
I’m curious - if you don’t mind sharing, how much of the religious aspect of the school comes into play in the day to day lives of the students? It looks like they go to chapel two times per week-is this a religious service or more non-denominational, spirituality discussions, or is it like school meetings that just take place in the chapel?
This is a great question to ask current students! When my daughter and I were looking at Middlesex, the website says it is not a religious chapel service, but when we visited, we found that they sang hymns and all the hymns are traditional ones that are clearly religious in their words. The student tour guide said it is definitely something the kids complain about.
It is a religious service but seems more focused on community life and general teachings of kindness and life lessons more than preaching Christianity. We are a non religious family and my daughter doesn’t mind it but does complain that it’s boring.
I think she cares more that it takes up time that could be used for study halls or free blocks.
Otherwise she loves the school though so I definitely think it’s worth a look-let me know if you have any other questions.
Also adding, I think that the chapel services are really the only way that the religious aspect comes into play. The freshman and sophomores have “community life” classes that are led by upperclassmen but those are more about mental health, self care, interactions with the community, etc. I would ask your your guide what they think too.
I really want to love Kent, and really was getting excited about it until I reached out to inquire about the costs for Equestrian. $8,000/term amounts to an additional $24,000/year.
We can’t swing that. The BS she is at now has equestrian for well under that, closer to $1,000/term.
