My only child (son) graduated high school on Monday, come Tuesday it really hit me that he’s leaving in just over 2 months. Now I just randomly cry realizing this chapter of my life is coming to a close. It’ll never be the same, my baby is leaving me. I knew him leaving would be hard for me but I never expected it to hit me so hard. You hear parents talking about how excited and proud they are of thier kids (and I am!!) But I rarely hear about this overwhelming sadness. Anyone else feel this way or have any advice on how to cope?
Yes, poke around the parents forum.
You have apparently done well and raised a college-bound son. Congratulate yourself on your milestone, too. You may be able to share your expertise as a tutor or support other children. Volunteer or start a hobby /activity you didn’t previously have time to do. If this sadness continues to weigh on you, please go speak to someone right away. Your son still needs you, he just needs you differently. It is a change in title/position for you and there is support available for your to help with this transition.
My spouse and I are anxious about our son’s impending departure already… and our son just finished his junior year this week and has not even gotten into a college yet! It is the whole reason I play on this site- to channel all that anxiety. We know he will be ready to go to college by the time it comes, and we will celebrate his maturity and achievement and be so proud, I am sure. But I think we will miss him horribly. And that is normal. As a school principal, I saw how staff members often were not at all themselves in the first year or two their child was away at college-- more weepy, reactive, and anxious than formerly. Just like the parents coming back from maternity leave!
And to students reading this: if you text or call your parent when you are upset, please text them back when you are feeling better! Based on my staff members’ experiences, it seems common for kids to contact home when they are having a miserable moment. And the parent is then on edge all week, until finally the child contacts them again a week later for something unrelated and says, “Oh, I’m fine now. I felt better right after our call.” And parents, keep that in mind if your child does not call to say they are better. You provided comfort and it (usually) worked!
You can also follow the Grown and Flown people on Facebook, but I find that site tends to generate as much angst as it solves.
Totally normal, @Shellkins. We all deal with it in our own way. Think about looking forward to the first trip back home and the stories he’ll have.
There have been numerous threads on this topic. It is a bittersweet process. Don’t wish the feelings away, whatever you feel and all of the things that you are going to feel over the next several months are normal, and it is really special to feel so deeply about another human being.
@Shellkins awww i feel your pain! I can’t imagine how it would feel with an only child!! When I sent my son to college last summer I had never experienced depression like that before! At least I still have my younger son which helped me get through the first semester. Now that S1 is home for summer it’s been great and I see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t think I’ll grieve in August like I did last year as now I understand and ‘get’ this is all how it’s supposed to be. Hang in there and go with your feelings. It helps to share them with your spouse too!
One thing that helped my sister was knowing when she was going to see her daughter again. She booked the Thanksgiving tickets, the Christmas tickets, and maybe one other set for sister to go to the college to visit immediately. I think BIL went out to visit my niece for a Dad’s weekend in the spring. The second year it was a lot better, but niece came back a lot, like 3-4 times a year. It is a two hour flight between two major airports, lots of cheap flights, so it worked.
Here’s an old but ongoing thread that might be helpful to you.
((hug))) OP, that seems normal, and it will get better. Just make sure you don’t inadvertantly make your child feel guilty. They no doubt are full of trepidation too, and sometimes our children read our grief (and that’s what it is, grief) as lack of confidence in them. So don’t deny you are sad, but emphasize you will be fine. And you will be.
It’s different, but not bad. We’ve had the pride of seeing our children accomplish admirable things and struggle through adversity and reach for us in times of fear, still. And we have taken a couple trips together, too. But it is never quite the same, and it isn’t meant to be. We’re still a family, just a little reconfigured.
I still cry whenever they have to go. My own mom is 86 and does the same thing! My kids just smile, and say okay, let’s rip off the bandaid and go on their way. We just accept it as a thing I do 
^^ the solution is to spend eternity looking for the helpful old, but ongoing thread :-*
There is a great thread out there on this topic.
Let yourself grieve. Then get busy starting the next chapter!
Thank you all, it helps to know I’m not the only one. I don’t worry too much about him, he’s a good kid with a good head on his shoulders. I worry more about him eating and sleeping like he should more than him making any really bad decisions or partying too much. He’ll do great, I’m sure! It’s going to be a long road for me I think, to get to that “new normal”. Thankfully he won’t be too too far away, a little over an hour, so I’m hoping he’ll come home for weekends frequently. So far I think I’ve done pretty well hiding my sadness from him. He knows mom will cry when leaving him that first time (& probably every time) in his dorm, he’s a momma’s boy. I am very proud of him, he’s an excellent student and a good person!
This is normal. I can tell you that the anticipation is far worse than once they are actually at college. The first couple of days were hard, then it was easier. Don’t do what I did, which was trying to spend too much time with my kid before she left. It made her feel uneasy and she wasn’t able to say so unitl she had a big meltdown right before she left. Then I felt very selfish and relaized I was feeling sorry for myself instead of thinking about how I was making her feel. You have done much of your job as a parent, but it doesn’t mean your kid isn’t still your kid. Focus instead on how exciting this part of his life is going to be.
Are you a single parent @shelkins?
It might help to think a bit – and perhaps talk with your son – about how the two of you will communicate once he’s at college. Some kids call their parents in the middle of the day when they’re walking from class to class, but that might drive you crazy if you’re working. Some people prefer e-mail over other forms of communication because it’s less intrusive (and provides us forgetful elders with a record of the exchange). Whatever.
And then, a few weeks after he starts college, you might want to bring this up again because his preferences are likely to have changed.
You’re starting on a new stage in your family’s life – one in which your son is rapidly evolving into an independent adult. It helps to put some thought into what works and what doesn’t in this new relationship. You have time to figure it out. If the patterns of interaction you start with don’t work well, you can change things while he’s still in college and spending some time at home. The important thing, I think, is to have a good adult-to-adult relationship going before he graduates because that’s the relationship you’re going to be part of from then on.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/681300-so-what-do-you-do-with-an-empty-nest-p1.html
Oops! Here you go. 
I am also the parent of an only child, and totally experienced the anxiety and sadness when she flew the nest. Leaving her at college that first day was hard, even harder was the first visit home because she was close by and having to leave her there all over again. I know I drove her crazy by calling and texting too much, but she has thrived and grown a lot in two years…in fact this last year she visited far less, usually for holidays and long breaks. This will be a huge adjustment for both of you and both of you will change and grow. Read the linked thread and ask any questions you need to…my daughter is starting her junior year after the summer and already has plans to travel to China and perform next May…watch them soar, they will amaze you!
We are also the parents of just one child, and I was a SAHM, so I was used to seeing a lot of her. Like many parents I felt a bit anxious before she began her freshman year, but once it became clear that she was enjoying herself and finding her niche on campus, I relaxed and began to enjoy the upside – like doing less laundry and cooking.
Although she is just 1.5 hours away, by her own preference she comes home only twice during each semester: Columbus Day weekend, Thanksgiving, spring break, Easter weekend. Staying at college on weekends enables her to get caught up on sleep, get papers done, do her laundry, go out with friends, and explore the city. I think coming home often can get in the way of a student adjusting to college, so although we miss her, we think she’s made a good choice.
We stay in touch with her loosely. I email when I have something to share (probably 1-2x per week) and she in turn calls on Face Time when she feels like talking to us, once every 7-14 days, and then we talk for about an hour. When she is home for winter break and summer, we get caught up and talk a lot!
As I recall this is more than I did when I was in college in the 1970s. Phoning home meant using the pay phone in our dorm hallway that was next to the communal bathroom (expensive and no privacy) and I’m sure I didn’t go home more often than she did. Mom wrote me snail-mail letters. I wrote back occasionally. This worked for me. How can I expect more from her?
She’s a rising senior and if her after-college job hopes pan out, she will need to move out, as it would be too long a commute from home. I think she will continue to stay in touch with us much the way we do now-- emails from me, Face Time calls from her, and occasional visits. Her college years are giving us a chance to get used to this, I suppose.