<p>Maikai, why are you assuming that the MIL won’t pay anything at all now? Fosterte made it clear in the OP that MIL is still planning to help.</p>
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<p>I don’t get all this vitriol against the woman. She may have spoken too soon by offering to take care of the college bill without completely realizing what the costs would be, and she probably wishes she hadn’t, but you make her out to be an evil, scheming witch by calling her “lying and cheap”. Wow. Get a grip is right.</p>
<p>I will restate my prior concern, which is will OP and her H be willing and able to help MIL if after she helps grandS her finances run low? Seeing how much longevity lives in her family this could well happen. Sure most of recognize it could happen to anyone but if they spend a significant amount on GS, it could happen sooner. It is an important consideration. </p>
<p>We have reassured our kids that we are making choices so we will not need their financial help in our retirement. Some others are MUCH more financially uncertain as many many investments are losing value and providing little if any appreciation or income.</p>
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<p>I agree 100%. I’d make sure S got a good, long visit at both before he has to decide. (I went to both Vassar and Hunter myself :D). </p>
<p>Macaulay deserves a class visit, a dorm walk-by, an overnight or weekend if possible.</p>
<p>Being far away at NCF is something he should be really comfortable with if he chooses that, so I’d try to fly him down there too.</p>
<p>New Paltz isn’t going anywhere. Without any significant aid to consider losing for freshman year, you can keep it in the back of your mind as a transfer option if wherever he chooses doesn’t work out. </p>
<p>As for the grandparent…my dad promised $x per year very specifically, and he did it about a year before college apps went out. My mom was more vague but wound up matching that. We took that into account when choosing a school (though he took the school with the best FA package anyway, g-parents help with our EFC gap). </p>
<p>It sounds like your MIL didn’t understand what she was promising, or promised it and now doesn’t have it…if she might commit a certain dollar amount per year that would be nice but if not, I sure wouldn’t count on her stepping up when the bill comes. If she wants to put something aside in a 529 or other account for him (and the other kids) now, fine. But without that…no way. </p>
<p>Congratulations to your S for having at least one almost free option and a couple of other doable ones. Graduating without debt…priceless.</p>
<p>OP here. Folks, let’s call a truce. MIL is neither a lying cheapskate nor a poor old granny who needs a comforting hug. Again, my intent was never to have this thread end up being about my MIL. I was simply providing as much background info as I could regarding how we got to where we are and how I was feeling about it (i.e. like I was going to have a nervous breakdown from the uncertainty of it all) so that you all with more experience could let me know whether or not I was thinking with clarity about the situation and our options (including the latest, seemingly glorious one).</p>
<p>Many thanks to each and every person who took the time to share their thoughts, and as many have said, we are ridiculously fortunate that things have worked out the way they have and that we have nice - SELF-RELIANT - options. I am no longer feeling close to having a nervous breakdown and it’s sinking in that he really DID just get accepted at Macaulay - Hunter! :)))</p>
<p>OP,</p>
<p>Just be mindful of Macaulay’s academic requirements to remain in the program. </p>
<p>While it’s a great academic and financial option…be mindful it comes with what IMO are some pretty onerous academic conditions like maintaining a minimum of a 3.3-3.5 GPA or not failing one of the 4 Macaulay seminars.</p>
<p>Yes, cobrat, I’ve been thinking about that too. I think it’s 3.3 for the first three semesters and then 3.5 after that. We’re going down in a few weeks so hopefully we’ll get to hear more about those conditions / requirements and how difficult they may be to meet. Right now, I’m trying to not worry about it too much. I believe that he’s capable of the work, but if for some reason he gets nutty and doesn’t do what he needs to do, then maybe he’ll end up at New Paltz as a transfer student (or spending a year of two at the local CC). <shrug> Hopefully, it wouldn’t come to that though.</shrug></p>
<p>Depending on major, a 3.5 GPA can be pretty tough to maintain. Our S slid around it all 4 years and was pleasantly surprised to graduate just north of it wearing honors cords. (Fortunately for him only a 3.0 GPA was required for his merit awards so he had breathing room.). Good that your S has a backup, just in case. Always prepare for the best with a good back up plan, just in case.</p>
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<p>Sounds like things are well in hand. I hope you update us as to what your S decides to do :)</p>