<p>Did they really have to mention Smith by name? My mom is so alarmed right now. She wasn't very involved in my college selection process so I thought she wouldn't be exposed to this. She definitely doesn't want me to go to Smith now. What do you think about the panel?</p>
<p>The letter and many of the responses don’t ring true. My daughter’s experience at Smith is nothing like that. It is a friendly, welcoming, and tolerant environment. It’s a great place to be openly LGBT, but the majority of women are heterosexual. She has straight friends and she has lesbian friends and they’re just that: friends She’s had no pressure to be or act a certain way. In any case, she and most of her friends are more focused on schoolwork, research, sports, activities, and friendships, than on dating. </p>
<p>Oh, dear. For starters, the campus is primarily straight. It might seem like the opposite is true, but it’s really not. Since the campus is really accepting, there are many openly LGBT people. They might stand out because they’re so open, but they’re still not the majority. But would it really matter, either way? I have straight and LGBT friends, and some I don’t even know because it doesn’t matter. I’m straight, and I’ve never felt forced to change my sexuality. Everyone here is really accepting, you won’t be forced to change the way you are. This applies to everything, not just your sexuality. Smith’s one of the best colleges for being who you want to be. It’s a great community to be part of :)</p>
<p>I’m looking for some additional parent voices on the topic of sending my oldest D to a small, single-gender school. I’d like to completely understand all potential areas for concern/stress. Will an attractive straight rural midwestern child feel overly pressured? More than say at a large midwest public univ. Sure, late teens / 20s are propositioned often and dealing/handling is part of growing up but is this pressure/ostracism issue more likely if I send her to one of these “Seven Sisters” East coast LACs? Assessing all the factors now seems wise, given the trouble and expense of transferring later. I’ve quietly read this website for a year and I’m just asking a dad question, please don’t yell or accuse me of being too small town. I read those kids comments and feel obligated to ask for other parents insights. thanks. </p>
<p>As the parent of a Smith Junior I will preface my comments that they are many stories and claims out there about Smith College as a hotspot of sexual freedom and about students being pressured to involve themselves into alternative lifestyle choices. The truth however is that Smith is a place where students of all types of beliefs, nationalities, religions, sexual orientation, and other facets “find their place”. There is no pressure to conform to a particular lifestyle or philosophy. I would acknowledge that Smith College is politically liberal but that is not a surprise. Smith College is generally considered the “cradle of feminism.” It is a great liberal arts college, with remarkable professors, students, facilities and an enlightened approach to almost all of the social and other issues
of our time. It is a rigorous institution academically, requires its students to perform to high standards and in return offers a life-changing opportunity to receive a truly world class education. Some people may be offended by the direct nature of some of the students in their views and beliefs but I suggest learning to appreciate and understand
such viewpoints in enriching to the college experience. Your daughter will feel welcomed and intellectually alive at Smith College.</p>
<p>@LotsOfCorn, Smith is a friendly, easygoing place, and the relationship environment is low-key and considerate. I think your daughter would be much more likely to be propositioned and feel pressure (albeit of a heterosexual nature) at a large midwestern university, particularly if it’s a party school. </p>
<p>My daughter sat in on a day’s worth of classes this month (as well as doing the open campus day), and found that the environment was very comfortable. You did have quite a few obvious lesbians and more-or-less militant hippies, but also mainstream midwest kids, jocks, preppies, and so on-- all totally cool with each other. She has become used to a somewhat unorthodox group at her high school, but is herself pretty straight-ahead (and straight).</p>
<p>I’m not a strong believer in single-sex education per se, but the fact that there weren’t a ton of men around may have removed some of the tension that could otherwise have built up in that sort of situation.</p>
<p>YMMV, of course. Always a good reason to visit, so you don’t run screaming in the first semester.</p>
<p>My neighbor’s daughter some years ago, crossed all of the all women schools off her list when she got approached by woman during a campus overnight visit. She felt that this was just something that had a greater probability of happening at an all female school, and wanted the odds reduced for this sort of thing. She figured if she should get a little bit too much to drink or be depressed and huggled and snuggled a female, it’s not something that had have entered her mind as a signal of it to go further in her circles, but in some environments, the chances of that were just a lot greater, and the all female schools were such environments.</p>
<p>There are also coed schools, where the attitudes, bi students and likelihoods for this are a lot higher too. Not just all girls schools, and the times, well, they are a changing, and the veneer of protection of not having closeness mistaken for an opening for sexual closeness within ones gender has become all the more thinner with the way things have been changing. For the better, or the worse, is a judgement. but as a fact, yes, there is a change. At one time, it would have been a risky move to make to sexually approach someone of the same sex when cuddling with you. Now it. not such a big deal, and people have to deal with it as they would relationships and how they act with those of the opposite sex. </p>
<p>So the gap has closed between the acceptabilty and probability of this sort of thing at the all women’s colleges and any given college these days. Whether there is still that gap, depends upon the colleges, but this is a development that has occurred in recent years</p>
<p>The more there is of a certain activity and more mainstream it is, the more the possibility of being invited will be. Each person has to make her own decision as to how much these possibilities are in different places, and how important this is to minimize or maximize. </p>
<p>Of course, she could say “that’s not my thing.” </p>
<p>I think she is in more danger of being harassed by a boy at a coed school. Some drunk boy, maybe your daughter has had a little to drink, I think that is a more likely and more scary situation than lesbians at Smith. </p>
<p>It is worth talking to her about how to evade unwanted sexual advances by men or women. </p>
<p>Absolutely agree with Lizardly. 100%.</p>
<p>But she might want to be “harassed” by a boy at a coed school. Not talking about assault, but many relationships do start out by these “harrassments”. The issue is wanting to reduce the probability of same sex harassments. </p>
<p>I think the aggregate harassment is a lot lower at Smith than the large state schools with heavy Greek life, etc. I’ve heard of so “oh darn” moments when someone made it clear that they didn’t hit from that side of the plate but over a seven-year span where I had pretty good knowledge I knew of exactly one case of harassment…and I believe the student was expelled. I’d worry about connecting flights home more than I’d worry about harassment.</p>