<p>The deadline is closing in and i need some critique on my essay any help will do. Im plannin on applying to Berkeley, LA, Irvine, and SC.</p>
<p>U.C. Prompt 1
While growing up, I faced the adversity of living with only one parent. I never knew what a father was like because he was never around. The only people I truly relied on were my brother and my mom.
After my brother moved to college, I became the only man of the house. My mom was always away, trying to work as much as she could to support my brother financially. I would arrive to an empty house after school, and spend my time aimlessly; I was already asleep by the time my mom came home. My grades suffered because of the little attention I gave them.<br>
My life changed in the tenth grade, when I joined my high school's marching band. The environment I associated myself with was like a second family. We played together, ate together, and slept together. I learned the value of team work as we performed for live audiences, for example when we played at the Rose Bowl. While the band was inside the tunnel, waiting to go on the field, I listened to the spectator's screams echoing off of the concrete walls. The blinding light at the end of the tunnel hid the hundreds of people that were waiting to hear the band. I shook with fear as I walked on to the turf, but I remembered that I was not alone, I was with my band. They became my escape from my empty house, yet it was not the solution for my academic life.
Finishing off my sophomore year, I realized that my grades had slipped. The responsibility to keep track of grades is the student's, so I took the initiative of bettering my academics. Even though I became the brass captain in the marching band, I made school my priority. I woke up before the sun was out to get to band practice, and went home when the sun was setting to finish my homework and study for my classes. I also had to make sure my section was ready for Saturday competitions so I held after school rehearsals twice a week to prepare. I knew I was doing good with my life when my band director gave me the title of "the smartest kid in band".
I learned that there is a purpose in life, but that purpose if for each individual to decide what it is. My purpose is to be better then the person I was yesterday and my way of achieving that is by learning something new every day. As I get older I will keep learning new material and forgetting old information, but I never forget to be unique. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."</p>