UC Personal Statement help/advice?

<p>I just started the writing process for the first prompt of the personal statement for UC applications. Of course, I'm writing about how my parents have influenced and shaped the person that I am..</p>

<p>Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from - for example your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.</p>

<p>Two high-school dropouts with close to no money and without any knowledge on the English language came to the United States in pursuit of a better life. Their determination and opportunity-seizing characteristics made them who they are today, my parents. As a result, I continuously ask myself a very simple question; how successful would they have been if they had the chance to go to college? They were able to adapt to a completely different society; that is by not only devoting their time to learning an unfamiliar language, but also by seizing every available opportunity to make enough money to support our family.
(I AM STILL NOT DONE... THIS IS JUST WHAT I HAVE SO FAR)</p>

<p>***** I'm trying to write about how my parents had the qualities necessary to be successful college students, but unfortunately didn't have the chance to go to college. However, these qualities that my parents hold have certainly influenced the type of person that I am. My mom is on top of everything. She is always making sure deadlines are met, she has never had overdue payments, she's always active, etc. I know that if she would have had that promising opportunity to go to college, she would have been successful. She would have applied to a countless number of scholarships, been an active member of the community, and would have devoted herself to school. Here's where I come in.. They have instilled these values upon me.... I got my first job when I was 14, and still have it.. My parents didn't force me to, but it showed me the value of money and how difficult it is to make large amounts of it. That is why I want to go to college. Because of my academic excellence & my desire to find a job that I would enjoy while at the same time make a lot more money, college is my only option. I want to somehow write about how my parents have shaped the person I am... any suggestions? tips? advice? what kind of path should i head in?</p>