<p>I need someone to read through my essay for UC prompt about a personal achievements, etc.
I feel like I used too many cliches, and that I took up most of my essay with narration/ summarizing rather than talking about myself.
Please read through it once and give me your thoughts :)</p>
<p>PS- I know it's a little long. I'm planning on cutting off about 100 words through the editing process. </p>
<p>Reply and I'll PM it to you :)</p>
<p>Sure, PM me if you like :)</p>
<p>Sure, I feel like my essay has the same problems. If you want, we could switch ours and take a look at eachothers.</p>
<p>PM’d to both of you :)</p>
<p>Sure I’ll take a look at it. Remember the colleges can already see all your specific achievements on the Resume so it’s important to synthesize how said activities affected you, not summarize your activities all over again in a stylized writing prose.</p>
<p>E-mail me at: <a href=“mailto:NKunkel@ucsd.edu”>NKunkel@ucsd.edu</a> or PM me</p>
<p>PM it to me, I will read.</p>
<p>I will read it… PM me…</p>
<p>Yeah… PM me ill read yours you can mine too if you want.</p>
<p>Sent to bahnstar, pretty-girl, and niklask :)</p>
<p>send it over!!! I’ll be an honest critique 
e-mail it at: <a href="mailto:girlspanky@windowslive.com">girlspanky@windowslive.com</a></p>
<p><a href="mailto:Daniel_8539■■■■■■■■■■■■">Daniel_8539■■■■■■■■■■■■</a></p>
<p>Hey, PM me, i’ll give it a go</p>
<p>i wuld not mind critiquing your essay. I just finished mines so we can swap. PM me</p>
<p>sure 
ill read yours! just pm me!</p>
<p>i would recommend turning in ur app ASAP. i just went to turn in mine to find out the system was down. i luckily got in after sitting there for an hour clicking. when i called tech support, they were like oh we’re so sorry it should be up shortly, just smile because it isnt the 30th yet.</p>
<p>PM me. Don’t worry about the time. The system goes down sometimes but it comes back up.</p>