Folks,
Can I bring back the time out part of my D’s life? She has just been so passive aggressive with admissions. Sure, she has a 33 ACT (even though I begged her to take it again to get the 35 to at least be in the conversation with Vassar) and is president of StuCo (even though the recount is still going on, but the principal gave us a written note stating she is interim until the third party district finishes up the count - no joke ladies) and hand built 40 Chilian style huts in Equador (D was supposed to get some letter but with the government shutdown i’m sure the letter is lost).
do you have a D or S who is a senior? nothing D says makes sense. everyone is freaking out until march.
Me: so how was school
D: rolls eyes
Me: so i heard jackie just applied to an honors college, what do you think about that?
D: more eye rolling
Me: so, i spoke with your personal college counselor, she told me the act is still an option (that advice wasn’t cheap)
D: no one is getting into any college at my school - i just want to work at the mall.
Me: so, normal day at school then.
My children’s classmates used to talk about college admissions all the time. ALL THE TIME. “I heard X School is for partiers. I heard there are 14 legacies applying to Y school. I heard you need a 35 to get into Z school.” It was WAY too much. The last thing they wanted to talk about at home was college admissions.
Try talking about it less. Or come up with a scheduled plan about when you can talk to her about college. It shouldn’t be 24/7.
i think we can work out a schedule with D. she is in scouts and is trying the new scouts for girls so with the other girls we can only talk about certain private schools (for like two hours) and with the boys we can talk about certain state schools and maybe some upper west coast indie schools for a bit. when it’s just us D and I can talk about scores. maybe it’s a terrible strategy
She has an ACT in the 98th%, is Student Council President, in scouting and does international community service. I’m having trouble seeing the problem. What’s the point of pushing her more at this point?
Bringing up other students’ admissions strategies is likely to do little other than make her more anxious and more resistant to your efforts.
Sorry Sue22, i have to disagree. kids can only apply to college once (at least that i know of) and my D needs to be firm. sure the college chatter can be limited to a few scheduled hours a week, but numbers are numbers and D can get that 99% - she might have to give up tutoring the middle school duke tip kids for a month or so but i don;t think it’s a deal breaker. i guess D needs to chill. i’ll limit her Fiske College guide reading time for the next couple of weeks. i’ll keep you posted.
You have given her the option of taking the tests again to up her scores. She said no. If she’s smart enough for Vassar, she needs to be in charge of the process. If she doesn’t get into the school she wants, she CAN apply again, or she can go to one of the schools that only need a 33 on the ACT.
Many people have taken the path of scheduling a time, once a week, to talk about college but that was usually in the fall when the student was working on apps, taking tests, needing to get paperwork together. If you daughter is a senior, that’s probably over. Now you are just waiting.
If you daughter is a senior, it’s a waiting game and I would forget about it.
If she is a junior, I would schedule time once a week to discuss college stuff. You can suggest retaking the ACT ( she has a great score btw) and if she refuses, she refuses. There are plenty of good schools out there that would love to have her. You need to be aware that her score can also go down. I would also refrain from discussing the college strategies of other students. If I did that with my daughter she would do a lot more than roll her eyes…she would get very angry at me and insist that I stop.
I think if you change your communication style you will start to see some positive changes in your daughter’s attitude, etc.
i just wanted to say thank you to all the SUPPORTIVE people on this thread. my D is bright and willing to take the plunge. (i wish everyone’s D was like that - a little risk taker) D and I will control conversations and keep things in perspective.