<p>In addition to college apps (which is bearing more stress on me than it should have), my grandmother died this morning. This is less than two years after my grandfather died, less than a year after my seventeen year old cousin died, less than half a year since my great-aunt died, less than 4 months since my friend died.</p>
<p>I almost had a nervous breakdown when my cousin passed on.</p>
<p>It's like no matter where I go, death is bound to follow me.</p>
<p>When I start writing my college essays, I'm at a blank. All I can think about are my dark clouds.</p>
<p>I feel completely devoid of motivation... and I'm so numb right now.</p>
<p>Has anyone ever been consumed by overwhelming grief? How did you get over it? It's eating away at every fiber of my body. I've scrubbed my skin raw trying to get rid of the sadness.</p>
<p>If it's seriously affecting your life negatively, try talking to a counselor or adult you trust (or even a really good friend). Nothing's automatic, your grief won't go away tomorrow. It'll take time, best wishes.</p>
<p>effulgent i've been consumed by overwhelming grief as you put it like no other.....believe me bro (sorry im assumin ur a guy if im wrong) ive been there and done that, mine was not school-related as yours seems to be but much more personal about my peers, my social concerns, my obligations, morals, and values...</p>
<p>so im just someone letting you know that you're not alone....at all...</p>
<p>effulgent, I am very sorry about your loss. I cannot imagine the pain that you are going through, and you will be in my prayers.</p>
<p>However, I think that the stress and adversity that you are going through can be directed into a positive manner. You can channel the negative energy that you have within you into something positive. For your college essays, you can write about what you are going through, and how you plan to perservere throught it. Such stories make a memorable read for the admissions committe.</p>
<p>Furthermore, you can also win scholarships simply because of the fact that you have gone through a lot of adversity. I know tons of adversity scholarships, such as the Horatio Alger one.</p>
<p>One last note, succeed for the memory of your loved ones. Think about this: Your loved ones will be pleased if they see that you are doing well. So, do well for them.</p>
<p>Again, I'm very sorry and I wish you the best.</p>
<p>Thanks, guys. I'm trying to overcome it. What's breaking my heart is that my father can't come to his own mother's funeral... we can't afford it, and he has many obligations here.</p>
<p>But, there has been a lot of family bonding, so that's a positive. And my grandparents are finally together again.</p>
<p>vtoodler, I'll look into it.
And baller, I'm not a guy. :)</p>
<p>Do you belong to a church? Are there any local charitable groups that could pay part of the cost of his travel? How terrible to not be able to afford your mother's funeral!</p>
<p>I'm sorry you're going through tough times.</p>
<p>going to church is a good idea. imo. its how i deal with adversity, and ive experienced my fair share, although not in such a short period as you. you have my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>sorry about hearing that. my grandpa and 7 year old cousin died in about a one year span. the worst was how my cousin died(elevator accident) which sometimes traumatizes me but like others have said, life is b***** deal with it. and then go on with life.</p>
<p>Effulgent, this happened to me at a similiar time last year. I didn't think I was that bad until I was rather depressed also. I used her death as my motivation though. She died of cancer and I said to myself that I would prevent someone else's death some day. </p>
<p>People say talking helps. I don't really believe so. What worked wonders for me was to sit outside and just talk to well, I'd say God but I'm not too good at guessing right. I just sat out there for a few hours (like 3-4) talking one-way to God about my fears, while I was sad my Grandmother died and it worked well for me. Sometimes, we just need faith. God may or may not be actually there, but it's getting it out for someone to talk to.</p>